My Mom lives with my sister a mental case worker and she receives 2000 a mo. but does not cook feeds my mother fast food and wastes money. No cooking is involved,enless my mother does it. my mother pays for all expenses, and their is very little food in the house, my mother is 91 and cannot look after herself and does not want to go to a nursing home. she gets around well. her memory is excellent. and my mother stated today when I went to take her to the doctor for bronchitis that my sister was cutting back on food because she wants to go see her son and grandkids in Utah. between their two incomes it come to 5200 a month. is that income from my mother to my sister taxable? im at a loss for a lack of personal care that my sister gives my mother. ive brought this up but she now refuses to let me see my mother, or check on her well being.
First, without a written agreement, the elder (and others people involved in care such as physicians and health care providers) can't be sure who is responsible to maintain the needed level of care. A Caregiver Contract provides an organized schedule for care and other services that can be adjusted to your changing needs.
Second, without a written agreement, the family member(s) providing the care are vulnerable to criticism (just or unjust). The Caregiver Contract recognizes and rewards the time and effort that you give to care, and helps prevent arguments and misunderstandings among other family members who can't or won't help out.
Finally, without a written agreement, the elder who pays a family member for care could be disqualified from Medicaid coverage if they need nursing home care in the future. In my state (Massachusetts) the state Medicaid agency and the courts have rejected transfers of money to children or family members who provided care, because there was no written contract or agreement for the care services. The Caregiver Contract documents the compensation and services in a format that Medicaid can understand and accept if nursing home care becomes necessary in the future.
It's never too late to try and reach an understanding among family members. A geriatric care manager or social worker can help coordinate the insights of your physician, nutritionist and other health professionals, to prepare a plan that will protect everyone.
of the one who is.. This focus on inheritance instead of the parent's well being is becoming more commonplace.
Taxable wage? No I think minimum wage in Hamilton is a bit higher.
Sis works full time and brings home fast food? I plead guilty as well.
Sis is going away? Stay with mom. Earn $2.78 per hour.
As our parents age, their needs increase, much as we don't want to admit it. In the case of my 93-yr old mother, her needs increase from one week to the next. And every once in a great while her needs decrease (as in help getting dressed), but that is just for a fleeting while.
We have a brother who lives out of state, hasn't seen our mother in almost a year (and that was just for 1 afternoon), and calls Mom once every 3-4 weeks. He accuses the 4 of us who share in her care of "pampering" our mother. A woman who was diagnosed 3 years ago of mild-to-moderate dementia! Either he doesn't get it or doesn't want to admit it or something else entirely. Whatever the reason, because he isn't here at all helping in Mom's care, his ridiculous comments aren't welcome. I finally told him that unless he has a solution to what he perceives is a problem, then don't comment. And a solution where HE has researched all options, not where he says something & expects the rest of us to do all the leg-work looking into it. Hey, it works in the business world, why shouldn't it work here? Haven't heard a peep out of him since that discussion 18 months ago.
All the other posters who commented the memory isn't what it used to be, reality and imagination are mixed, etc. were spot on. As were the comments re $2000 for Mom to live with your sister, etc. It is incredibly expensive to have an elderly parent live with you, regardless of much or little they eat, especially if the parent refuses to eat fast food or acknowledge how tired a person is after working all day long.
I go back to my initial suggestion of you asking your sister how you can further help re your Mom's care. Not in a judgmental manner but with well-thought-out suggestions of what YOU can do each day or each week. Maybe a good start is the shopping of the food for the meals your mom wants?
If your mother is eating fast food and that is what she wants, why should you deny that to her. My mother used to eat frozen chicken nuggets and frozen hot dogs all day long because she was taking care of 3 great grandchildren. She also suffered from severe diarrhea at the time and stayed in sh*tty pants all day. We now have her on a pretty bland diet, home cooked, but it takes work.
My mother is with us 24/7 and both my husband and I have to plan our days around taking care of my mother. We have not been out to eat together, alone, for longer than I can remember. If I am not in the room with her then my husband is. Do you honestly think that taking care of someone 24/7 is that easy? We used to pay a woman to come in for FOUR hours per day to help my dad $250/week, $1000 per month. And, that was for just four hours per day. If your sister is working she is at home with your mother for a minimum of 14 hours/day. At minimum wage of $10 per hour she should be getting paid $4200/month.
You mentioned that your mother doesn’t want to go into a nursing home. You can certainly step up and have your mother come to live with you if you feel that you can do a better job. I bet that after taking care of your mother for one month 24/7 that you would feel that $2000 isn’t enough for taking care of an elderly woman.
So many people feel that there is an obligation to take care of a parent free and that any minimum payment received is horrendous. I see that often on this site and I see that from some of my siblings.
Well, I say, take that elderly person into your own home. Take care of them 24/7. Pay someone to come in and take care of your elderly parent while you have to go grocery shopping. Pay someone to come in and cook and clean for them while you are at your job. Some people even give up their jobs and homes to take care of their parents.
Personally I haven’t been posting on this site much as of late because of all the judgments that are given because someone is paid for taking care of their parents.
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