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When mom was at the apartment, she started to sleep on the recliner but she never told me why. At the MC where she is, I was told that she sat on the bed but doesn't like the pillows. I haven't bought the new ones yet. Not sure if it would really matter. I was told that some older people prefer the recliner over the bed because it's more comfortable? As long as she gets sleep, that is all that I care about. One of the caregivers told me that maybe the reason why she does that if there is an emergency, she can get up faster than in the bed. It was just a guess. Does anyone else have that issue with their parents?

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For the last years of my sister's life she slept on recliners and couches because it was more comfortable for her. My mom takes her naps on her recliner but can no longer push hard enough to get the foot rest up, so I find her sideways with her feet over the arm of the recliner. When I ask why she's that way and why she doesn't ask for help with the foot rest, she claims she isn't that way, even though I'm at that very moment looking at her in that position. She so far doesn't hurt her back. Also I find her with her night gown on over her clothes. The staff at the assisted living say she gets confused now about appropriate clothing - night or day, she doesn't know, so wears both. Her outfits these days are quite amusing.
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Judy79 Sep 2019
Thanks for the little bit of humor. One time, I found my mom put her shirt over her pj top. Oops! Of course, it didn't bother me. That's just mom.
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Have you asked her doctor about writing her a script for an electric recliner?

We bought mom one when she wa 88. She used it until she died at 94.

You have said that mom is healthy other than her mild dementia.
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Judy79 Sep 2019
Thanks! Might just try that. It's hard for her to put the leg part down. But she can get out of it. It's an idea.
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Judy, I hope I'm wrong, but in two replies now you have stated that you don't want to spend too much money (on a bed, on a recliner) because your mother is 88.

This is a sensitive point for me because I ran into disagreements with my POA sister over spending on my mother's care; and my sister, during one conversation, did say right out "... and if she dies, the money will be wasted."

But for as long she doesn't die, she'll be comfortable and safer, and then the money won't be such a waste, will it?

First of all, though: whose money are you spending on these items? It should be your mother's money, and then it shouldn't be such a priority. If you're having to spend your own money, then maybe there would be other ways to source the equipment she needs if you can get someone to prescribe it for her.

But anyway, the furniture your mother spends almost all her time on is not the best place for economies.
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Judy79 Sep 2019
Thanks! I agree with what you said. My brother told me to spend what I want for her,out of her money, but I want to be careful since she is in a facility where he is trying to spread out her money. I'll keep your suggestion in mind. Thanks!
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My dad sleeps in a very old, torn up, recliner or his couch at his house. If I move him to assisted living, I plan to get him a lift recliner chair. They have some nice ones. He hasn't slept in a bed for years.
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Judy79 Sep 2019
Wish I could buy my mom a lift recliner chair but they aren't cheap and she is 88.
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My Mother wanted to be in her lift chair in the den.She said it was more comfortable and she liked being out where the "action" was,not back in her bedroom at the end of the hall anymore,so the last 3 and a half years while Mother was on Hospice,she was in her lift chair in the den.
Hospice suggested a hospital bed many times,but Mother refused.
As long as she was happy with it,I didn't care.
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Judy79, sleeping in a recliner would be helpful if one has acid reflux, that way the acid doesn't work its way up into the throat.
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Judy79 Sep 2019
Come to think of it, I think that she does have acid reflux. I'll have to as her doctor about that.
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My MIL preferred a recliner because of her hips.
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I have used a recliner for many years in preference to a bed. Initially it was when I had a migraine and couldn’t face the stairs to my room. Later I found it useful when I developed a recurrent cough since pillows to prop me up moved in bed but the recliner didn’t. Now I have a bad back and yes, I find the recliner far more supportive than a bed.
I notice that I tend to sleep better and for longer in the recliner than any bed.
Getting up may be a factor since it’s easier to get up from a seated position than from lying down, though can’t say that is why in my case .
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Judy79 Sep 2019
The only thing that I can't get is why she doesn't like to sleep in her pj's at night. She was diagnosed with mild unspecified dementia.
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They do. They also know that the bed is there for her when she wants to lay on it.
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In the last few years of my fathers life - up until his last year - my father preferred his recliner to sleep in rather than his bed.

My dad had congestive heart failure plus had suffered a fall injuring his ribs. While he never said so, I do believe he was able to breath better in the recliner. I think as well, that the recliner provided more overall body support. Plus, with his ribs continuing to bother him I think it was less painful to get up from the recliner than his bed.

I worried about it though - his recliner was pretty rickety. So, I bought him a new “lift” recliner with all the bells and whistles - one being an adjustable lumbar support feature.

Towards the final few months of his life - after going on formal Palliative Care (and later Hospice) - a hospital bed was brought in. It had the adjustable features of being able to lay in a more upright position, which again - was important for easing his breathing as his lungs regularly filled with water.

If the memory care folks will allow it - let your mom sleep in her recliner if that’s what she wants and it’s her best mode for a good nights rest. If you’re worried that it might be harming her physically- and she can afford it - buy her a new recliner. I just bought a “regular” recliner for my hubby and it has a lot of the features my dads fancy - and expensive- lift recliner had at a fraction of the price.
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Judy79 Sep 2019
They tried to have her sleep in it but I told them to let her sleep in the recliner. I was thinking about getting a new recliner but I need to talk to my brother about it and if she can afford it. He is her POA. But the other issue is that she has urinary incontinence but wears pulls ups. They change her every 2 hours. I can tell that also.
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Being more upright does make breathing easier, if your mother has any difficulties of that sort.

All the same it's not ideal, not least because if she's in that posture all day and all night she may be at risk of developing pressure sores. Does she get up and move about plenty, during the day? Is her bed at the MC adjustable (I think they're called 'profiling' beds) so that the head could be raised for her?
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Judy79 Sep 2019
I didn't want to spend that much money on the bed,due to her age. 88. She didn't say anything about the recliner being easier to sleep on. I don't think that she has pressure sores. It's not adjustable. I was wondering about getting a wedge under the front of the bed. But wouldn't that make the mattress fall off the box spring?
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I don't have that issue with my parents, but, my brother prefers a recliner to sleep due to his back. He says it feels better than the bed. Also, I think some people breathe better with an incline, rather than laying flat out. Will the MC allow her to sleep in a recliner?
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