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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I am amazed at this point in time in the 21st century, that when it comes to someone being the caregiver, the finger is still being pointed at the wife, daughter, or female sibling. Somehow we need to change that stereotype and get the men in the family to pitch in, like some men are proudly doing.
Make a list of the care that is needed, line by line, and say what you are able to do. Those items on the list that are left opened need to be divided among your husband and his siblings. If the sibling live away but still close enough, ask them to spare every other weekend and come to help so you can have time for yourself.
Don't forget, we aren't professionally trained caregivers. Some say it's no different than taking care of children, but those who say that forget that a child eventually learns for themselves how to do things and becomes independent.
I know it is hard to do, very difficult to say no, but what if you are no longer available to take care of the father-in-law. Stress can cause major illness in those of us being caregivers. And sadly 30% of the caregivers pass on before those they are caring. Mention that to your husband, would he want you to be that 1 out of 3.
I am so thankful that my parent's primary physician understand the stress of caregiving, thus limits my time of going back and forth to her office.
Please for your own good, stand your ground and make sure they confront "their" father's care!
It seems they are busy people so maybe you can do your research first about daily care for your FIL..So when they do meet you have info and numbers for them to call.. Let them get involved. Try not to let them dump it on your lap!
Good luck! I agree with SA if it wasn't my Mom I was caring for I would have walked along time ago... She's been with me for 12years...
assandache7 THANKS some times I feel very alone out here i really have no one to turn to and i havent seen my husband for weeks. but you are right its time for the boys to have a talk
Can you find day care for father in law? Call your local Elder Affairs! They can help you with other options and see what resources are available for him..
You need to discuss this with your husband. He needs to confront this issue with his siblings. FIL is not your responsibility..I understand I took care of my husbands Great Grandmother and my Mother in law and now my Mom.. You need to take time for yourself. If you don't speak up they will continue to use you!!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Make a list of the care that is needed, line by line, and say what you are able to do. Those items on the list that are left opened need to be divided among your husband and his siblings. If the sibling live away but still close enough, ask them to spare every other weekend and come to help so you can have time for yourself.
Don't forget, we aren't professionally trained caregivers. Some say it's no different than taking care of children, but those who say that forget that a child eventually learns for themselves how to do things and becomes independent.
I know it is hard to do, very difficult to say no, but what if you are no longer available to take care of the father-in-law. Stress can cause major illness in those of us being caregivers. And sadly 30% of the caregivers pass on before those they are caring. Mention that to your husband, would he want you to be that 1 out of 3.
I am so thankful that my parent's primary physician understand the stress of caregiving, thus limits my time of going back and forth to her office.
It seems they are busy people so maybe you can do your research first about daily care for your FIL..So when they do meet you have info and numbers for them to call.. Let them get involved. Try not to let them dump it on your lap!
Good luck! I agree with SA if it wasn't my Mom I was caring for I would have walked along time ago... She's been with me for 12years...
Can you find day care for father in law? Call your local Elder Affairs! They can help you with other options and see what resources are available for him..
You need to discuss this with your husband. He needs to confront this issue with his siblings. FIL is not your responsibility..I understand I took care of my husbands Great Grandmother and my Mother in law and now my Mom.. You need to take time for yourself. If you don't speak up they will continue to use you!!