I'll try to be as brief as possible.
My uncle, age 94, is nearing the end of his life. Along with diabetes, neuropathy, and on his second pacemaker, he was recently hospitalized for pneumonia. The resulting coughing left him with a stress fracture in his back. He was hospitalized again this morning as he is in excruciating pain from the fracture, which cannot be treated with anything buy Tylenol due to his limited kidney function.
Uncle's wife is in her late 70s, with Stage 7 Alzheimer's. She and my uncle are still in their home, with home care providers. My aunt has been approved for Memory Care, but is Medicaid pending. No nursing home in this area will admit pending Medicaid, Even if they did, there is nowhere for her to go. There is a waiting list of over 100 people. AND she has become aggressive, and unless that can be controlled, the nursing home would not take her even if they have an opening.
My uncle cannot return home if his wife is still there. She is unable to control her violent outbursts, even with Seroquel. Several aides have quit due to her attacking them. It is too dangerous for my uncle to be at home with her. He has never said she has attacked him, but we are sure she has. My uncle would never tell anyone this, or admit it if asked.
What if anything can be done to get one or both of them into a nursing home if there is no Medicaid (they can pay privately while waiting for Medicaid approval) and no room, they are unable to be safe at home, and there are not enough aids to cover them 24/7? They have one daughter who is married, has a three year old, and both she and her husband work full time. They live nearby, but still 35 minutes away. I know some will say "well the daughter just has to quit her job, abandon her family and move in with them". NOT happening. Even it she could quit her job and let her husband fully support the family, she cannot and will not abandon her toddler. She cannot take her daughter with her, as she cannot trust her mother not to hurt her. And separating the child from her father to care for grandma and grandpa is also not happening.
What does an elderly person who cannot care for themselves do when the nursing home says "no room, go home"?
It sounds like the wife needs to be admitted to a psych facility. Caregiver should call 911 the next time she lashes out.
Placement for Dad is the responsibility of the hospital Social Worker. Refuse to accept discharge.
The daughter should under NO circumstances try to care for them herself.
If you are her caregiver, and she can no longer look after herself, when she is in one of her fighting moods, you call 911 and ask for help. Then when they want you to pick her up from the hospital, you say NO.
1) Get her checked and treated for a UTI, which we know presents with behavior problems.
2) E.R. will arrange to have her evaluated and treated in a behavioral unit.
After being stabilized on medications that may help, they will discharge her to an approved facility. Easier if the discharge planning finds the facility for you.
The criteria has changed.
I was driving before but wanted to get you an answer quickly.
Please tell the daughter to hang tough, especially if the discharge department is telling her that it's her job to solve this problem.
As long as dad is "in a bed" leave him there. I was told that many years ago by a wise and compassionate discharge planner. If someone says they are discharging him, ask if it meets the criteria for a "safe discharge". It won't.
Make sure dad does not sign himself out.
And make sure dad is admitted, not under observation.
Getting mom into a psych hospital might be a good solution to DAD's problem.
Most Nursing Homes limit the number of Medicaid beds because the payments are quite low.
IF you request a "self-pay" bed, you will pay MUCH more but will have a better chance of "getting in." Then, when the funds run out & you qualify for Medicaid, you are already "in."
Also, UTI's are (in my experience) way more likely to be the "cause" of anger, meaness in Alz than the Doctor's seem to realize. & tests are so simple.
While she is spending time getting her behavior medications sorted out on the unit, allow uncle to move back home with round the clock home health care. He probably qualifies for hospice with his multiple health issues.
Get a social worker consult for wife to place her into a memory care unit that can provide care for her through Medicaid - even if it is "quite a drive" from home. This way they can both be cared for safely.
Boll, you and the daughter need to understand this "game" of chicken.
She needs to say "no" and walk away.
If they send him home in a cab in a nightshirt, she calls 911, APS, the cops and the press.
Eventually a passerby wheeled her back into the hospital, half frozen.. Made the news. Got a BIG apology for her trouble but hopefully safer discharge for all!
The story you tell does NOT mean APS is a joke. There are criteria for taking away a person's right of self determination.
The naked lady isn't hurting anyone.
The person in your story is a danger to others. There IS a difference.
See All Answers