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I know this question has been posted but I need suggestions for 97 year old who is very alert and physically capable. OMG, I'm not talking spitting. This is horking up loogies and spitting all over the place. He claims he's spitting in the toilet, but he's not even in the bathroom. I won't allow anyone in the area without shoes. OMG...and the smell. He does not have Alzheimers or dementia. He's just a pig. He refuses to brush or clean his mouth. I work in dental so it's insulting, but...whatever. Sometimes I wish I could just let him sit in all the filth, but it doesn't bother him. Home Health has come 3 x week for months and he refuses to bathe and they can't force him. We've tried acting like it's a prize, we've been stern...nothing. I know it's crazy. I already feel better by just having said this. Any suggestions?

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I do appreciate the comments. It's just so darn aggravating.
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This doesn’t sound like the behavior of a person with a sound mind. I’d try for an evaluation to see what may be going on. And there’s no way I’d have it going on for long if it was in my home
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EricaW Feb 2021
I try to give him the benefit of the doubt. He is 97. I'm appreciative of the fact that others feel that they would not put up with it either.
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My suggestion is to quit this job if you are a paid caregiver. Or, if you are relative caring for this man in-house, place him in managed care where teams of people can deal with the behavior instead of you.

You say he's of sound mind, yet you're not describing behavior of an individual who's in possession of a sound mind at ALL. Elders with dementia exhibit these types of behaviors where they refuse to bathe and where disturbing practices such as spitting doesn't phase them in the least. Same with claiming he's 'spitting in the toilet' when he's not even in the bathroom. That's delusional thinking. Perhaps you can supply him with spittoon type vessels that he can spit into, such as plastic Rubbermaid bowls and such, which may be easier to clean than the floors.

If it were me, I'd be unable and unwilling to put up with such behavior and I'd insist on placement immediately.

Good luck
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EricaW Feb 2021
Sorry. Not a paid caregiver, because I'd quit. With CoVid, he cannot be placed in managed care nearby. He's on the list and waiting, but there was an outbreak so there is another waiting period.
I can tell him to stop spitting when he does it in front of me and his only answer is, "I'm not spitting"...and then a mumble of "F&*% off, leave me alone". The spittoons are everywhere, but he generally misses.
I am so glad to hear that others would not put up with this behavior.
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I would say that anyone doing this and thinking he is spitting in a sink has some sort of Dementia. Does he smoke or was he a smoker? Maybe the doctor can give him something to thin out the phlegm so he can swallow it. Maybe he should be on allergy/ sinus medication.
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EricaW Feb 2021
Not dementia. It's a habit. His house, carpets were destroyed and I had to move him in when his house was gutted. Not a smoker. Scopolamine can't be given due to a fragile heart condition. I keep encouraging him to drink water, but he won't. I know he's dehydrated so there is concern putting him on allergy meds. I have tried other drinks, but the only thing he wants in 7-Up which is horrible for his teeth. I appreciate the ideas. I wanted to know if I am forgetting something simple.
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