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Friends---


I have been on the wonderful site for several years and have received (and I hope also given!) a lot of support.


My own battle begins tomorrow in earnest as I begin a 6 round chemotherapy for my lymphoma.


It's been just over a month since I found 'the lump' that sent me reeling into the Cancer Center here--I've had tests that only the clueless would agree to--and tomorrow, the die will be cast.


R-CHOP, as it is called. 1 day of infusion (the 1st is bad, so I hear) as they introduce, one by one the poisons and then dial back until I can stand it, then another one--well, I don't care too much about the mechanics--I just want the time to fly.


If all goes well and I tolerate the infusions, they make the time between then slightly shorter, so I could be done as early as Sept 1st--or who knows when, if I don't tolerate it well.


Too much time spent on the internet---people say it's the worse thing they've ever done, a lot say they scheduled infusions for Friday so they could be back at work on Monday.


And I WILL lose my hair. Oh well. I hope it grows in pure white and curly.


Dh is going to attempt to be my caregiver---but has already said he cannot stay with me tomorrow (8 hrs)...as I get the first infusion. Maybe that's for the best. He's really struggled with this--he is not a natural CG and tends to just go to bed and leave me to my own devices.


Just need words of support now this thing is real. I will be honest on this board as I might not be around others: I am absolutely terrified beyond reason.


I hope and pray I can be brave and that the IV's go in easily--and that any and all barfing makes it into the appropriate place (not DH's leather interior of his car!) I hope I can have enough 'good days' to out weigh the bad ones.


Funny, I don't worry about a cure, because we caught this so early---but that would be nice, too.


This has humbled me a lot--we always wonder why things happen to us and I am still trying to figure that out. Probably no rhyme or reason--stuff happens because we live and this is part of life.


I thank you in advance, I am already so loaded with different drugs my cognitive reasoning is not the best.


Just prayers, please and good thoughts.

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Midkid58, sending you hugs, and smooth sailing. Thank goodness you caught this early.

I've been down the cancer trail ten years ago. Also, my sig other had no patience for anything medical, unless he was the patient... [rolling eyes]. Thus, I also was pretty much on my own.

I also had been wondering why things happen to us.... like, what did I do wrong? I never even had an overdue library book !! The surgeon said stress was the factor in my case, as I had no other markings. And caregiving was filled with stress.
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Prayers, good thoughts and lost of (((((hugs)))))) going out to you, dear lady!

We have your back!

I stand by my recommendation to hire a housekeeper, at least 1X per week, until this is over. Ask one of your kids to set that up.

Again, ((((((hugs))))))).
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Midkid58 Jul 2019
OD is sending her cleaning lady out for me--what a gem (both of them!)
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We're all with you Midkid. Sending you best wishes, prayers, and support. Will be thinking of you as you embark on this next phase of your healing.
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Midkid, you have my prayers and best wishes for a quick treatment course and complete healing. AND super-cute hair afterwards! :)

You got this! You are strong!
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Praying for you, Midkid, and for all your family. Courage dear one. I think Barb’s suggestion to get a housekeeper during this time is excellent.
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HUGS AND HUGS.

And that hug I used to use all the time before AC remodelled - IT'S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY.

If your chemo nurses are anything like ours, they will be lovely and they will be fine with it however you want to cope. I wouldn't pay too much attention to how other people managed. They're not you. Heroes or big fat babies alike, they had to please themselves and so must you.

Take treats in case you want them, but put them in a zipped bag so that you don't even have to look at them if you don't.

I just had an evil thought about DH's brilliant idea of taking you for lovely long drives and the possibility of making him deeply regret that offer - but I'll keep it to myself. I didn't know he had leather interiors. 😈

I'll wish you courage, but only if you promise not to use it more than is sensible. Brave faces are not helpful to good nursing care.

We'll be here when you're safe home again.
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Midkid58 Jul 2019
Dh wanted to go for a 'long drive' when chemo was over--seriously, didn't I want to drive up a winding canyon road when my tummy was kinda sick?

It's how HE copes---trick will be him learning to let me cope how I DO and then not being angry b/c I'm not acting like he wants me to.
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(((((((hugs))))))) and prayers for treatment to be easy and successful. I truly believe that you got this beat!!! Do whatever you have to to make life as easy for you as possible. This is the time to put you first.
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Good thoughts, prayers and love to you.
Try not to look to far ahead, just get through one day, then the next. Sometimes the time horizon is too daunting. Self care, focus inwards and you will get through this. You are strong and capable!
{{{hugs}}}
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Midkid,

Thinking of you today.

We are here and have your back.

Let others help or ask your daughters for help. You must take care and be easy on yourself.

You got this!
(((Hugs)))
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Sending you lots of prayers and good wishes for an easy go of things with your treatments. My ex had/has stage 4 colon cancer and got through all of the rounds of chemo with minimal side effects; he has some lingering neuropathy in his feet and hands, but that's the only long-lasting thing he's dealing with. And, by the way, his PET scans are 100% clear of cancer! The nurses were wonderful with him, and able to give him some meds for nausea that worked beautifully. He's a giant baby, so for a person like HIM to come out with THIS kind of ease & wonderful prognosis is very hopeful for YOU!
All the best; and be sure to stay in touch with us because we all DO care about ya!
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Love and light. It’s your journey and you reserve the right to feel however you want to. If you need to, check into a hotel and give the kids phone #. Don’t get into fixer mode when your DH not if freaks out. It’s our party and we’ll cry if we want to or barf or sleep. Housekeeper!!!!
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Many hugs and prayers Midkid.
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You are making perfect sense!
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I understand being terrified beyond reason.  Although I have not experienced chemotherapy (YET), I can see the "Infusion Room" each time I go to my Hematologist / Oncologist office to have my "Smoldering" Multiple Myeloma checked on.  And it scares me that I might have to have chemotherapy.  😵

Maybe listening to soothing music during the infusions might be helpful and make the time go by quickly.

Take care of yourself during this time.  Hire a housekeeper and whomever else you need to keep DH from freaking out (going to bed 24 hours/day).

{{{HUGS}}} and Prayers 🙏  , a colorful scarf or turban 👒 and a barf bag 😊.
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Midkid, best wishes on this new journey. Know we are all thinking of you and rolling eyes at hubby.😉
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You have ALL my support AND THEN SOME!!

My dear son is a survivor, and has THRIVED since he was treated, and my prayers are with those in treatment, and I’m shoving you to the top of my list.

Keep us all up to date. A friend, also a survivor, lost her hair and when it grew back, it was thicker and glossier than what she’d lost.

Ride over this, and come back to us at the other side..... ANN
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Sending positive thoughts, and hope for not too much barfing, at this scary time!
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Sending you many healing wishes, prayers and positive thoughts. You have A LOT of support around here.
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Praying for your comfort tonight as you get ready for the first treatment and for your healing in the weeks ahead. If you want to save hubby's interiors I suggest a couple of large plastic drink cups; they're easier to hold and target when you're sick.
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Putting you in prayer for healing Midkid as well as the medical people and your family.
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Love and hugs and you can do it!

Visualize the big burly and mean looking buff chemo - ites beating up the cancer cells.
Pow!
Kaboom!
Take that, you!
Get out! And stay out!


Sparkles
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Sending thoughts of healing & hugs of peace. I hope your mind allows your body to rest.
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Much love and prayers. May God give you Comfort, strength and courage. Hug🌸
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Sending prayers & good wishes your way, Midkid. Take it day by day. They will prescribe medication for you for nausea if you need it. You may not even have nausea.

Treatment for lymphoma has come a long way. Have faith & try to keep positive; attitude is everything.

Thank Heaven you found it early. Thank Heavens you have physicians in your family ; I am sure they are looking out for you.

This journey is intimately yours. Don’t base anything on what you’ve heard about the journey of others. Again, take it day by day.

Regarding losing ing your hair, that’s tough, but fortunately these days there are options for wigs and a chance for you to have a little fun picking them out.

Try to remember to hydrate well. The staff will have an easier time finding a good vein for the infusion, plus hydration is important. As is nutrition - I suggest you think about purchasing Ensure or Boost as a supplement if your appetite is affected.

You can beat this. There are many success stories out there. As a nurse I have seen people work full time during their chemo, as you said. I had a specific client who is a school janitor and he continues to work full time, & he is in his 50’s & in remission.

Go in there with your chin up, knowing that you have a family that loves you & has your back. Draw on your faith if you are a believer. Thank goodness you have access to the best healthcare in the world.

Get through it one day at a time. You got this....
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Midkid, while I don't know what chemotherapy is like, please know that I will be keeping you in my prayers. You've written how the prayers, good thoughts, positive energy and love from this site kept you going while you were undergoing the tests for dx; I hope our love helps in some small way as you take the first steps to beating back and conquering this cancer!
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Just wondering how you're getting on. Must be well past the halfway mark for today, anyway? Thinking of you, don't know if the vibes will reach so far :)
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Midkid, I'm late, but you have my prayers and positive thoughts. (((Hugs))) too!
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Midkid, please know that I am thinking of you on this, your first day of Chemo and praying that it goes smoothly for you! You have been so strong and so brave during this diagnosis phase, and I know that we have all appreciated your sharing your journey with us. We Love you for your honesty and we all learn from one another.

Regarding losing your hair, well as one who has always had thick long hair, and has always admired women who take the challenge of cutting their hair Really short and cute, I reccomend you take that on and enjoy it, especially now that it is summertime. Of course you know that it will grow back in, hopefully "white and curly", but for now, one less thing to worry about, lol! Get a few bandanas, just like in the old days, and as it grows back in, gel it up and have fun with it!

I know you will beat this! You are stronger than you think! Take things as they come, and concentrate on you and feeling better.

I'll be thinking of you as the weeks progress, and praying for ease in your fight against this Unwanted Intruder, You Got This! HUGS! Stacey B
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Sending good vibes to you today and a prayer that your DH gets his dose of reality and can help you through this. Two close friends lost their hair to chemo...one’s did come back in silver and super curly! The other look like a pixie. Both super cute, but were amazingly beautiful even without the hair. At least I thought so. Pure strength and courage. Just like you.
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Mid, sending you good vibes as well. Good thoughts and prayers. I have had friends of mine go through this recently. What I gather from these brave souls is the people giving these infusions made them feel as comfortable (and I might say very cared for and about) and they formed bonds with other patients getting theirs. Sending big (((HUGS))). please come back and let us know how you're doing when you are able. Much love.
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