Hi everyone! I am 22 years old and just graduated college in May. I’ve had absolutely no breaks this year. I am now working full-time and have since June. I’m also 6 months pregnant. I say this because I am just starting everything out, basically starting to live my life, right? Well, my mom started Peritoneal dialysis treatments this summer too. I’m happy she did because she’s better than ever. Though that is the case, I am TIRED and so STRESSED. I have to be the one who does the PD dialysis for her, which is with the machine and only at night and in the morning. This isn’t what I’m tired of though. What I’m tired of is that she gets mad at me because I want to connect her to the machine early at night (around 9:00) because I want to sleep early. Again, I am pregnant and work full time. I NEED REST. She then also gets upset with me because I wake up a bit after the machine has done its work. She wants me to disconnect her right when the machine is done, but I wake up late again because I’m tired. I’ve been trying to teach her how to use the machine so she doesn’t get upset with me anymore, but her excuse is just that she’s “not gonna learn.” She says this because she only speaks Spanish. But She is 65 and fully capable of learning- she even learned how to do the manual one at first. She’s just dependent on me and it’s what upsets me also because it is not my responsibility to do these things. Of course I want to help her out, but it isn’t my responsibility really. My dad is around but he’s also dependent on me so he doesn’t help her with anything. It’s so upsetting because my boyfriend works out of town and I would like to go visit him and would like to one day be able to travel with him and our baby, but I just feel like I can’t leave my parents for these same reasons. I feel like my mom is always gonna need me. And that she’s only going to get worse as she gets older. I’m stressed about the future. I don’t want my life to just be taking care of her. So sorry for this long rant, I just needed to vent!!
Reason #1, your 65 year old capable mother can't be arsed to operate a machine that's purpose-built to be operated independently.
Reason #2, your father finds it a lot easier to leave everything to you.
Why are you still there? Your mother is going to become frailer as she gets older and iller. She and your father need to start getting themselves organised around that reality, and it can't include you BECAUSE never mind pregnant, in three months' time God willing you will have a new born baby to care for.
You are not going to be available. The sooner they wake up to that, the better.
PS If you can't find the machine's instructions in perfectly good Spanish - probably with demonstration videos too - on the internet I will eat my hat.