My 90 year old grandmother lives with me. She has always been a negative, unhappy, conflicted, individual. This is really becoming more and more obvious as she ages. She has all of her faculties, she is in great health, yet she demands there is something wrong with her health. When I curb those ideas, she begins insulting me in very nasty ways. I try to have a relationship with her, but most times I don't want to be around her because I'm tired of the verbal abuse. She will get really nasty and then 5 minutes later act like I should have forgotten by now. I grew up this way, as an adult I no longer welcome it. She has nowhere else to go.... What to do? Suggestions for responses or managing her disrespect and insults?
If this is mostly abour her health issues, try going along with her. Or just respond "Oh." and move on to another topic.
Ultimately the choice is yours about whether she continues to live with you. There are other choices, although she may not like them. Try the suggestions in this thread and anything else you can think of to defuse the stress on you. If you can't turn the stress level down, consider whether you really are willing to live with it another two years, or six, or ten. Because you are grown up now, and it is your choice.
go aunt edna .. tell em whats what ..
Whatever works is always the way to go. Good luck!
For managing her disrespect, I'd be inclined to give her the silent treatment. And just leave the room without a word. It's a passive-aggressive way of handling it, but probably better than, "Gram, I've got some Raid for that bug up your *** if you want some." ;) ;)