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My husband and I will be building/purchasing a home this year with the intent of my 75 year old parents moving in with us. Both have been life-long smokers and while my father doesn't care if he continues to smoke, my mother refuses to quit at this stage of her life. It's a sad situation as she is on oxygen due to smoking, COPD and asthma and is essentially in a wheelchair when going out as she cannot walk long distances.



We've had multiple "family meetings" about this move-in...and they are 100% comfortable, as are we, that this move is going to happen. The one sticking point is I can't have our new home smelling like smoke, especially because I run a small business out of my home and can't send products out smelling like smoke. My parents are both aware of this and while they understand, my mother feels that sticking to specific rooms of the house will work. I know this will not work. If we build a home it's a significant cost to basically having an in-law suite with a separate HVAC system, as well as a potentially hard selling point for the home down the road.



I'm trying to find a solution which would allow her to smoke in their rooms of the new house but containing the smoking vapors from entering the rest of the home. If I completely refuse to allow indoor smoking they will NOT move in - and my father (while more healthy than my mother) is becoming more frail and cannot continue to be the sole caregiver for my mother. Since this is a move they want to make I prefer we all do this together and now - instead of waiting for something to happen to them physically in which they can't continue to live alone.



Looking for any ideas, regardless of how crazy, and I appreciate any negativity be kept out of responses. I am aware of the negative effects of smoking and health so that's another topic for another time.



Thank you everyone!

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With no offense to anyone who responded, this is the kind of question that should be posted on a forum such as This Old House forum, or a similar forum that focuses on the  mechanics of home issues:

https://forums.woodnet.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=3&page=65

TOH show offers state of the art adaptations on multiple aspects of home building, repair and management.

But I do agree that smoking while on oxygen is totally inappropriate and unsafe.
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Frebrowser Apr 2022
My Mom was sent home from the hospital with a prescription for an oxygen concentrator.

The equipment came with a sign for the front door advising that there could be no smoking.

The home health nurses provided through Medicare Advantage confirmed that the sign was actually posted at each visit over a three week period.

I'm pretty sure that the paperwork also required that she affirm that there would be no smoking, but of course there is no enforcement, just a liability waiver. I'm guessing the homeowners' insurance would check to see if they could get out of paying if there was an actual fire.

You can tell when an oxygen concentrator is on so it might be less likely to cause an explosive house fire than a tank that can quietly leak but you'd still need to have a plan. Don’t slack off the recommendations for smoke detectors and fire extinguishers; replace batteries and maintain as directed. Encourage her to wear less flammable fabrics. Discourage the use of flammable hair and cosmetic products. Try to visualize how to deal with a fire if it happens: most likely the tubing would feed a tiny torch into her face, she would then try to remove the tubing or smother the fire with her hands; what is the best way to deal with that without causing more damage or additional injury?

Here's an interesting link:
https://www.mass.gov/service-details/home-oxygen-safety

"Until you can quit smoking, if you must smoke:

Disconnect the oxygen
Wait ten minutes
Go outside to smoke 
This is not a safe way to smoke, but it allows time for oxygen to come off your hair and clothes, and lowers the danger of fire."
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This OP will be posting on here a few years from now about how she regrets moving her parents into her home. They are already trying to bend over backwards to appease the parents who refuse to stop smoking. Mother is wheel chair bound and needs dad to do everything for her. But his health is failing so that arrangement will not be tenable for long. No discussion about who will be taking care if the parents when they need more help. Since OP works from home picking up the slack will inevitably fall to her.
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MeDolly Apr 2022
Truth, recipe for disaster. The parents should move into an AL facility or stay where they are. The mother will smoke in the home regardless of what is agreed to, it is all there, time to accept this and forget about the combined, living happily ever after dream.
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Burnt, try actually reading the posts.

The smoking is a deal breaker for the parents. She states that in her original post.
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Isthisrealyreal,

Is it likely the OP's house is the size of a casino with 50' ceilings or higher? I don't think the commercial filtration systems a casino has can be adapted for residential use. Casinos also raise the oxygen levels in their playing rooms by pumping in pure oxygen to keep people from getting tired so they can play longer and spend more money. I don't think the OP can do this in her house.
MACinCT is right. If the parents have to go into facility care they won't be smoking at all.
The OP needs to have a smoke-free house. Especially if there are kids. She wants them to move in and they should be grateful.
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Isthisrealyreal Apr 2022
Facilities allow smoking outside.

My post under Mac is in answer to your nonsense here.

50' ceilings or higher, hahaha! They do not have 5 story ceilings, that is funny.
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I was a smoker since I was a child and finally quit almost two years ago so I'm not going to get on anyone about them smoking. I miss it every day. Prior to my quitting the house I live in was smoke-free for many years.
There is no way that the smoke, smell, and discoloration can be contained to their areas. It gets everywhere. in the walls, ceilings, rugs, clothing, upholstery.
The only way to prevent the cigarette smoke from permeating the whole house and everything in it, is to have a smoke-free home.
There is no air filtration system that will prevent it. Tell mom and dad that you will not allow smoking indoors.
Take the money and build them a covered patio area outside of their rooms where they can go and smoke. Not in the house.
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I should clarify - she uses an oxygen concentrator, NOT a tank of oxygen. Fire risk, although a potential future concern if any diminished capacities develop, is fairly low risk right now.

Thanks for some of the good feedback so far....look forward to anything at this point!!
Jane
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notgoodenough Apr 2022
I think you might need to check your research about the risk of fire around an oxygen concentrator.

My mother used one, when it was delivered, there was a cardboard placard attached saying "ABSOLUTELY NO SMOKING WHILE IN USE". Great big letters, all caps, in *bright* red against a white card. No one in the house smoked, so that wasn't an issue - but there was also literature about where else to NOT use it, including a kitchen that used a gas/propane cooktop, because of the open flame. Now, that was a concern, because that's what we have in the kitchen. So, no oxygen used in the kitchen while the stove was lit.

Even *if* you were told it's "safer", understand that "safer" does NOT mean safe. It's safer to use snow tires in winter weather; that doesn't mean it's safe to drive in winter weather.

This is your home. Tell mom no smoking in the house, and absolutely NOT while she's on oxygen therapy, whether tanks or concentrators. This is a safety issue for everyone in the house, not just mom and dad.
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Jane, check into mini-split systems.

They do not have duct work and each room can be kept at it's own temp. They won't transfer the smoke throughout the entire house.

However, the best way to contain the smoke is multiple layer solutions, put a really good HEPA filter in each of their rooms, buy smokeless ash trays, they draw the smoke in as you flick your ash or set it down, buy pet odor candles, they are soy with no lead in the wick, that can deal with any escaping odor.

There is not one good thing for this issue, you have to layer solutions.

My mom is a reformed smoker, she gripes if she can smell any smoke, yet she came into my home and said it was a good thing I smoked outside. Ha, only because she was there. So, I know that layered solutions do work. I quit smoking years ago and still use these things to keep my home fresh.

If it is possible, I would build them an enclosed, temp controlled porch, if it is really nice, she might like to sit out there and smoke.

Edit: make sure that all of their rooms have cross ventilation from windows. This way they can be aired out efficiently.
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JaneLW Apr 2022
I've heard about these split systems and will definitely do more research on that. I appreciate the information - it's all helpful!
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I just bought a home late last year that has an attached, but separate guesthouse for my parents. It has it’s own HVAC system. In our experience, the setup was not a hard selling point at all. Many families in similar situations were looking for properties like this and there were many bids within the first week of the home being listed. This real estate market has been crazy but I’m not really concerned about the separate HVAC. Good luck finding a solution! I’m sure you will find an option that will work for you.

I do think you should consider the risk of fire (you’ll be living there, too) first. I’m wondering when I’ll need to cut off the gas to the stove. Smoking and and oxygen tank would equal many sleepless nights for me.
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JaneLW Apr 2022
Thank you for the feedback - housing market is crazy now and it's not helping! LOL And, I should have clarified - she uses an oxygen concentrator, not an oxygen tank....I'll never hear the end of fire issues now! :-)
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You really should reconsider letting your parents move in with you. You already have mom making rules in your house about what she is going to do regardless of what you want.

Now multiply that by 1000 with your mother once she is in your home and imagine what it will be like 5 or 10 years down the road.

Once you move your parents in it will be harder than removing a mess of ticks off a dog to get them out.

Also since your dad is getting weaker who will be taking care of mom? Have you talked about that with both of them or are you going to do the care for mom?

As for solutions smoking outside is the only way to contain that smell.
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PeggySue2020 Apr 2022
You could see if she’ll transfer to a e cigarette.
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FIRE!!!!!!!FIRE!!!!!!!!FIRE!!!!!!!!
To smoke in the presence of O2 is an explosion and fire waiting to happen.
Your home smelling of smoke is not my major concern. I personally would not take in a smoker; it would be a deal breaker. But if it can be afforded I am sure there must be some filtration system, no matter how costly that would help (I doubt would eliminate).
To be honest, this is the LEAST of my concern. Because the fires I saw set by the elderly who continued to smoke (and it was uncomfortably frequent) were set by those who had impairment of oxygenation to their brains, sleepiness and etc. And then you have the fact that you DO NOT SMOKE IN THE PRESENCE of O2.
You are looking at a fire waiting to happen. I hope the insurance is excellent.
As I said--this should be a deal breaker. This would not be allowed in ANY facility.You certainly should not allow it in your home.
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sp19690 Apr 2022
Smoking is a deal breaker for me too. Plus it's not just about containing the smoking to one area. People who smoke smell like it and it's in their clothes and hair. Now couple that with an elder who doesnt shower daily.

OP is going to regret moving her parents into their new house.
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