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I'd like to contact a lawyer and see what options there are for suing my brother, to have him removed from managing our mother's day to day finances. Does anyone have an answer for which "type" or specialty of lawyer that would be best?
All you three all kumbaya with each other (united in closeness and compassion)?
If so, think about having sis do a "personal services contract" for mom's care & also perhaps one for your brother too for the "service" he provides for financial management. Maybe you & him share the DPOA and sis has the MPOA, since she deals with day to day. The elder attorney can draft them and should have the data/rates that are the norm for your city. There's a set scale for what costs are, like ambulatory vs. non-ambulatory care for what sis does and financial advisor fees can be found on-line for what he does. . You can contact a home health care company to get an idea of what is charged too. Usually around $ 15 - 25 hr./ 4 hr min.
Depending on mom's age and health situation and size of her estate, starting to spend down her estate might be a good idea. The personal services contracts will do that and let sis have more flexibility in getting things for mom when she needs it rather than weeks later when brother can part with $. Unless her estate is truly huge, at some point if they live long enough and have any chronic health care issues, they will run out of $$. There might not be any windfall. Nursing home average, is I think about 8K a month. $$ can go really fast.
You might want to have the elder attorney explain a Miller Trust & also an "enhanced life estate" aka Lady Bird Trust. This all needs to be done well in advance of when she might need skilled nursing.
Is brother a financial advisor, stockbroker or banker? If he is, then he or someone else @ the institution is making commissions from investing mom's $. If she's been making $ recently, it probably hasn't been from interest on savings. Good luck and let us know what the attorney suggests.
if you and your sister can communicate with your brother, express your feellings that you don't care if there is anything left for you. Has your sister whom your mother lives with, told your brother that she could help him with the finances, so he wouldnt feel burdened with the fear of making an unwise financial decision. Perhaps your sister could give him a recap of normal monthly expenses to care for your mother and he could deposit funds into an account for her to use, maybe even an account controlled jointly by you and your sister. Then for unexpected expense you both would go to him. That would maybe unite the three of you in caring for her.
Reston2002 You say, "My sister must jump through red tape to get any kind of money to offset the care of my mother. The reality is, my brother is so concerned with spending it unwisely, that he is not spending it all; the result is that my mother's estate is just growing and will be a windfall for all of her children some day. My complaint is that we should be spending her money on her care and comfort." What you describe is actually elder abuse. Whose money is being restricted from whom? If it is your mother's money until she dies, any impediment to the the timely use of your mother's for her benefit especially to create a windfall for the children is wrongful.
As a clarification...my complaint with my brother is not abuse, rather inaction. My mother lives with my sister. My brother has financial control of my mother's finances; specifically her long-term savings, and her monthly income. My mother did a great job preparing for her old age, financially speaking. My sister must jump through red tape to get any kind of money to offset the care of my mother. The reality is, my brother is so concerned with spending it unwisely, that he is not spending it all; the result is that my mother's estate is just growing and will be a windfall for all of her children some day. My complaint is that we should be spending her money on her care and comfort. Anyway, that's why I'm looking for the right lawyer to discuss the options.
I also am not sure where to begin, so I think I would lean toward an elder care attorney.....If it is your Brother who has financial POA, an attorney would certainly know what steps have to be taken. Best, Hap
I had the same thing with my mother living with my brother who used her money for everything but what my mother needed. Her life and health ins. was not being paid he used it to pay his bills and to keep the house going my mother never had any money, that is why she is now living with my hushand and I we are getting her out of debt. She eats three meals a day now and is doing well we had all her checks and mail sent to our home we now take good care of her!
Good responses. I do know that if you make wrong accusations, you will some day look bad in the eyes of the court. Like above, it has to be proven and before a lawyer there is adult protective services that will investigate if you think something is going on. Other than that, be prepared for the most expensive fight of your life and you still may lose IF he is POA. good luck
An attorney specializing in Elder Law. Check with the Bar Association of your state. An alternative is to file a criminal complaint if you believe there is wrongdoing. You should have copious notes/evidence to support such a claim. A gut feel is only good to the extent that it might begin an investigation. Proving elder abuse is a long shot and can be costly. A close examination, if you are ever so privileged, likely will uncover a web of control that extends over a long period of time. Often the elder will side with the suspected abuser. You must be aware that that you will suffer through the process. Then again it boils down to doing what is right for all. Most choose to ignore and not to question. It is very important that you keep your opinions to yourself, your attorney, govermental agencies, the police and other state officials. If you suspect that there is abuse of your mother by your brother who has the POA, and you can absolutely prove such with those having "personal knowledge" along with actual evidence, you can always file to revoke the POA. But, generally, if your mother is not of sound mind, you must be prepared to have the court appoint a guardian which you could argue should be yourself. Wishing the best for your mother, Chad
What gives you pause that he is not handling her daily finances properly? Does he write the checks or does she? And is he her only caregiver or do you help too? These are questions that will surely come up.
either one specializing in elder law (can find one on NAELA site) or if her's is a sizeable estate contact someone in the trust department of her bank for a attorney referral.
I would caution against asking her financial advisor or broker, because your brother is likely her DPOA and as such would be told of your call.
If mom is happy with your brother, and she is being cared for without anything extremely unusual, then having him removed as DPOA will be very difficult.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If so, think about having sis do a "personal services contract" for mom's care & also perhaps one for your brother too for the "service" he provides for financial management. Maybe you & him share the DPOA and sis has the MPOA, since she deals with day to day. The elder attorney can draft them and should have the data/rates that are the norm for your city. There's a set scale for what costs are, like ambulatory vs. non-ambulatory care for what sis does and financial advisor fees can be found on-line for what he does.
.
You can contact a home health care company to get an idea of what is charged too. Usually around $ 15 - 25 hr./ 4 hr min.
Depending on mom's age and health situation and size of
her estate, starting to spend down her estate might be a good idea. The personal services contracts will do that and let sis have more flexibility in getting things for mom when she needs it rather than weeks later when brother can part with $. Unless her estate is truly huge, at some point if they live long enough and have any chronic health care issues, they will run out of $$.
There might not be any windfall. Nursing home average, is
I think about 8K a month. $$ can go really fast.
You might want to have the elder attorney explain a
Miller Trust & also an "enhanced life estate" aka Lady Bird Trust. This all needs to be done well in advance of when she might need skilled nursing.
Is brother a financial advisor, stockbroker or banker?
If he is, then he or someone else @ the institution is making commissions from investing mom's $. If she's been making $ recently, it probably hasn't been from interest on savings.
Good luck and let us know what the attorney suggests.
You say, "My sister must jump through red tape to get any kind of money to offset the care of my mother. The reality is, my brother is so concerned with spending it unwisely, that he is not spending it all; the result is that my mother's estate is just growing and will be a windfall for all of her children some day. My complaint is that we should be spending her money on her care and comfort."
What you describe is actually elder abuse. Whose money is being restricted from whom? If it is your mother's money until she dies, any impediment to the the timely use of your mother's for her benefit especially to create a windfall for the children is wrongful.
Thanks to all who've answered so far!!!
Best,
Hap
I would caution against asking her financial advisor or broker, because your brother is likely her DPOA and as such would be told of your call.
If mom is happy with your brother, and she is being cared for without anything extremely unusual, then having him removed as DPOA will be very difficult.