He has PSP and his quality of life is suffering at home? We live in dad's house with him, his mobility is very bad and falls almost every day. He recently broke his hip. He is now on the waiting list for high care. I just know he will fight every inch of he way to stay home, but it's getting to be too hard on a daily basis.
Nobody wants to go into a facility---it is normal to want to stay in their home & fight to do so. When it becomes more of a risk for their safety than it is safe for them, it is time to make a decision.
I am sorry you are going thru this - I understand your concerns.
Your question also indicates you know the answer which is that you can't manage taking care of him at home any more. So, the only thing missing is action and I suspect the sooner you take it, the better it will be for everyone.
Blessings to you all during this difficult process.
So how do you tell him? Gently and with love, making clear that you're not trying to "get rid of him" but that you're worried about him and the pain he will feel if he continues to injure himself. Explain how your own health is threatened. Hold his hand and just explain things as best you can. You can also make the point that you could be considered a neglectful caregiver if you didn't take action to keep him from being injured at home. I don't know what your father's mental state is, but often simple logic will help them see reason. One suggestion is to not tell him that the situation will be permanent -- even if it will be -- so he can have some hope of coming home if he "gets better."
Good luck.
I have read on these forums that it is best not to say *nursing home* because our elders have a different concept about a nursing home compared to what we know.... many of these home are bright and cheery with a lot of friendly faces and helpful personnel.... some elders think those homes are dark, dank, and no one smiling because of what they heard on the news 40 years ago.
Also all dad's paperwork is in order, I am enduring power of attorney, so that's all organised. I speak to my brother and sister and they both have no second thoughts about putting dad in a home. They have never really had much to do with dad since mum died 20 years ago. So it's just me and my family. I know I will do what's needed, it's just very hard. I'm all he's got and I don't want to make him sad. Thanks again to all. God bless
Not everyone is cut out to be a Caregiver, no different than not everyone is cut to be a brain surgeon, or a State Trooper, or a Construction worker. We all have different sets of skills, but not all those skills relate to caring of an older person. It would be like starting a brand new career without an ounce of training with no one to watch over you to make sure you are doing everything correctly. How many of us who are in our late 50's, 60's and 70's have the energy to learn a new career?
See All Answers