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We recently lost my wife and mother of 3. Grandmother of 4. Maybe this isn’t the platform, but it definitely is an aging care event.
We were told how much the obituary would cost. Not covered by the insurance policy that we bought for “peace of mind”.
almost 4 figures. Didn’t even include a picture.
I should feel guilty, but refused to have it done. It’s not like she was into liberal politics.
The newspaper has lost most of its readers as circulation has a new bottom every month. She would have been appalled by the $$’s.
Social Media did a better job and didn’t cost a penny more than its monthly cost to subscribers. It’s time to bury what doesn’t produce, or am I going to regret it?

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You will not regret this. Obits are a scam and hackers use them to obtain full legal names and addresses. You can save the guilt and regret by doing this via social media etc. If your wife was a member of a church it could possible be announced through a bulletin or announcement. If your wife was active in any groups you could ask them to spread the word for free. If you wife was still working you might get her employer to put it out on their social media accounts as a release of information. I 100% agree with you for not putting it in a paper. I refuse to be buried, and want to be cremated, because it should never break the bank to bury someone.
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When my mom passed, I had her address book. I used to print labels for her for Christmas cards so I wrote a tribute and mailed it to everyone on her list. I received a lot of responses thanking me for letting them know.
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Daughterof1930 May 2021
Great idea
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I actually don't believe in doing an obituary. It is proven that criminals follow them in order to know when family may be at services. They also follow them to figure ways to do identity theft trickery and make bogus calls to family. I know they are the old fashioned way, but when my brother died and was cremated I didn't even let the funeral home list his death, and I did no publication of his death as suggested by some books regarding estate and Trusts and so on. To me it is just opening the door to problems in the day when they can google our home, where we live, and what the facts are of our lives in moments on the internet.
sure am sorry for your loss and wish you the best. Great info for Forum, also.
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Thanks so much for taking the time to write & advise. My daughter echos the scammer part. It’s a memorial service with visitation. She donated her body to a good, local medical school. We had to schedule it late to get family into town.
She planned it & paid for it. But the obituary is an add on expense from what I could understand.
my hearing is about gone. My daughter takes over. She said “NO” ... knew her mom very well.
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Frances73 May 2021
Yep, my funeral plans state no obit.
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I am so sorry for your loss.

May God give you and your family grieving mercies and comfort during this difficult time.

You will not regret doing an online obit., we live in a day when just about everything is done electronically. It is completely acceptable.
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HisPathway77: you wrote "I should feel guilty, but refused to have it done. It’s not like she was into liberal politics."

Your comment/complaint about obituary pricing certainly belongs on this Aging Care website. But I'd sure like to know what politics has to do with your posting, liberal or otherwise. What the heck is that about ???
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DJ9876543 May 2021
Do give grace. This was written by a grieving person. Only they know what they meant.
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I too was shocked at the price of my husbands obituary, but went ahead with it anyway, as I had had it written for about 6 months, as he was under hospice care for 22 months. I did however tell my children NOT to spend my money on one for me when I die, as it really is a rip off.
I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard when we lose our spouse, this I know. God bless you.
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My parents requested that there are no obits for them because scammers, etc. come out of the woodwork
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No. It costs $1200 in my area to post obits in two local papers (owned by the same company) and in the Boston Globe. This used to be FREE. IMHO journalism is dead and newspapers are struggling, so they have decided to prey on the loved ones of those who just passed. Personally, I think that it is akin to theft. If you can reach out to all who need to know through private messaging on social media or simply telephone call, why not?
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TouchMatters May 2021
WOW. Thank you lynina2.
You said it much better than I did.
Gena / Touch Matters
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I haven't read any of the 64 responses to date . . . here are my thoughts off the top of my head.
GOOD FOR YOU.
It's pouring a flammable substance on grieving husband/family for a commercial business to screw you - us.
* You can write your own obituary and post it on Facebook or wherever you have access to a broaden group via social media.
* If you / she belonged to local communities or a church, write something and provide to them. You don't need everyone and their uncle reading about your wife - who didn't know her. The people that matter are the people that know / knew her.
* By opening the can of worms here 'asking' others if you'll regret it, be prepared for mucho self-projecting responses. (Oh . . . I read several and stand corrected. Most reflect similar responses to mine. Not that 'mine' is right. It is a matter of being gouged when it isn't right / the compassionate procedure in our capitalist world
. . . and here I go again)

I COMMEND YOU FOR STANDING UP FOR FINANCIAL DIGNITY for grieving families everywhere.

By the way, what is the name of the newspaper. Some of us could send a Letter to the Editor. . . Gena / Touch Matters
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