When I first started caring for my mom, I felt as if everything I had worked hard for, career wise was over. It took me a while to settle into the "caregiver" role. I struggled for months. Then I realized when I was little, I used to go to nursing homes and hospitals with my mom and would watch her show so much compassion and care to her patients. I vowed I would never work in a nursing home or have anything to do with it. Guess what, the very thing I was trying to run from, came right back to me. I was used to working in offices and sitting behind a desk, I even have a degree in Business Administration.
She had approached me to take care of her when it didn't go so well with two other family members. But, the problem I am having now is since I started taking care of my mom, the rest of my siblings stopped caring. My mom doesn't get many family visits from my siblings and the sad part is they all live close with the exception of one.
I try to keep her busy and laughing, but I see the depression slowly creeping in. She's 76 and deserves the very best. What I don't understand is, why are people so selfish? My mom has been there for each and everyone of us. She had been abused when she was growing up; not only that, she was always there for each and everyone of my siblings. Why can't they be there for her? I look in her eyes and see hurt and pain. Nontheless, I will be there for my mom because she was always there for me.
I am the youngest of seven siblings, married with two boys (one of them is 24 and the other is 16...not so little, but they are still my boys). I am doing what I have been purposed to do....now, I have no regrets, just compassion.
Before I start each day, I meditate on those things that are positive and am thankful for having a mom.
I will not leave her nor forsake her no matter what....
At first, I thought maybe it's happening in your family because there are so many children, it's easy to think "there are others who can check on mom". But I only have a brother and while he's a good guy overall (but very self-involved), he doesn't do much of anything for our mom. I had to shame him into calling her once a week. But he never asks how she's doing or what to talk about when he calls her...it's like out of sight, out of mind. And he knows I'm doing a good job, so it's just not something he thinks about. I used to get very frustrated about it, but I finally realized my frustration was only hurting me and not him. Once I accepted that, my attitude got much better.
I think you're asking universal questions for which there are no answers, especially as to selfishness.
It's similar to asking why people fight each other over religious differences, over high-topped designer shoes and over clothes and possessions that don't matter in the long run.
Humans can indeed be a strange species.