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I would talk to your primary Dr - assuming they know you - and ask for their recommendation. I doubt you need a psychiatrist, but one of the others who specialises in the type of situation you find yourself in can no doubt give you some support and assistance, If you can get one recommended so much more reliable than just putting a pin in a list of names.
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Is it possible your father just doesn't want to make the decisions, so he just approaches it with what ever is easiest? If so, maybe he would gladly let you play a more active role. I ask this, because I know this is how my husband would be. He will never be the one in charge of making decisions for my care.
That being said, look into counseling of some kind, or maybe a support group. But, DO NOT start any Benzodiazepines, as suggested below. They can cause dementia, and you don't want that.
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I had been doing the same process myself recently. Many times I would say to myself "SELF, YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THIS" But I would always back out because I was such a private person and wanted to avoid reliving everything I was already going through. However, I've reached a point where instead of risking talking to someone that has no idea, no clue, of what being a caregiver is like, I have considered going to a local church where they have a counselor (qualified mind you) who might lend an ear.

I found this tentative solution one day a couple of years ago when my hub chased me out of the house because he was in a demented rage about something that wasn't even real. (I had the cell phone in case he needed help, and actually I voluntarily got chased out) Got in the car and escaped in tears down the road and just happened upon a church one block from the house.

The girl that talked me out of my tears was the daughter of the therapist, and asked me if I could go upstairs when he was upset and let it blow over. Best advice I had in a long time, and she was way younger than I. I set up a room so that I could take the cell in case he needed help, but he couldn't get up the stairs to follow me. But the point is, I remember that her mother was a therapist. And I may just go back there to see if I have someone to talk to.
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Sendhelp Jan 2022
Good plan, but do not wait for a crisis, or when you are in a panic.
Establish a professional relationship, which having someone to talk to regularly can prevent panic and benefit you!
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There are many options for telehealth counselors/psychologists right now, and more affordable options all the time. You could do some research to see what type of therapy (CBT, DBT, etc.) you think would be the most beneficial and find someone who offers that, and then try things out with a pro for relatively little cost. Without any other information about your situation, I would start with a counselor/therapist to help you sort out what you could do to move forward from here.

Sandwich generations are the participant group for many stress studies. I learned this a few years ago when I was a caregiver, and was surprised that this was the category chosen for the stress studies I was reading about. There are unique challenges for sandwich caregivers. It's an unprecedented level of demand on the caregiver, as their senior LOs are living longer and modern medicine tries to keep them alive for even longer, while still raising children and all the demands that come with parenting. I agree that you do need *something* because you're in an extraordinarily challenging position. I hope you find the right help, whatever it is.
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I think anyone that is in the position of CARETAKER should be in therapy . It does not matter is you have a wonderful childhood or not . When your loved ones can no longer take care of them selves it is a major stress. If you spread your self too thin you will damage your self . More info is needed . Is Dad in denial or is he starting to have signs of Dementia? It took me 3 out of 5 years of watching my man slip from mild cognitive impairment to moderate Neurodegenerative involvement mixed type to find help for my self . Your local Counsel on Aging should head you in the correct direction. If you are the one that placed your mom, you must have the Power of Attorney. I have been attending Caretakers meetings ( on line ) for 2 years now .. It’s been a great help. I am also talking to a therapist ( one on one ) and am on a mild antidepressant. I only have myself and my man to worry about . I don’t have children to tend to these days . Try to find out what’s happening with Dad. Won’t he ? or Can’t he ?help with the decisions . Find help for yourself or you will not be able to help them . Your kids need you during their formative years too. There is help out there . Prayers are with you .
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