Its terribly difficult sometimes, is there a way to keep her from getting anxious, cold and embarrassed? Mom has oxygen on in the shower, she gets too breathless without it. the water just drips right down that onto the floor. I wash her hair and back because its too hard for her to lift her arms and she gets breathless. We have a shower chair and a handheld. shower head. i try to do it fast so she doesn't get too cold. I feel like there has to be a more efficient way to help someone shower? I keep thinking it shouldn't be this hard and unpleasant for her.
Call your local Elder Affairs and get her a Home Healthcare Aide... Medicare will pay for it. After an assesment she may qualify for other things. Also buy a small heater for the bathroom. I got one at Walmart for $11.
I know you're probably thinking "no way will she let someone else shower her", but if she was in the hospital or rehab she would have no choice..
If she doesn't financially qualify I would hire an aide to come in and do it.. Believe me when I say that's one job I'm glad I'm not involved in anymore!
I can wash my father's hair while he's sitting comfortably and warmly in a chair. He can wash himself sitting comfortably and warmly in a chair as well, undressing only as necessary to wash a particular body part while the rest of him remains warmly clothed.
A towel to dry off is the only thing that's needed to finish - no shower head, no sitting shivering on a shower chair, no fall issues, no heaters in the bathroom creating an electrical hazard.
Using the handheld shower head (at a temperature that you two will never agree on), wash and rinse and shampoo. If she can't stand the entire time, a bath bench is handy, ours is a transfer bench, it extends out of the tub and that way she is sitting while I lift her legs over the edge of the tub. She does stand while we wash the privates. I use Vagisil liquid soap for that area, rinsing well.
Due to her C shaped back, we can only wash hair in the shower. At the beauty shop, they get water all over her and she isn't comfortable at the shampoo sink.
Afterward we use as many towels as it takes to get good and dry (she never used but one towel in her whole life and it's wasteful for me to use so many towels) and lotion and powder and doctor and then get dressed. Then I use the hair dryer and dry and fix her hair while she sits on the end of the transfer bench and can see in the mirror. All done and by the time I get her breakfast cooked she has forgotten all about it.
The notes are to make you laugh a little, hopefully. There really isn't a good way that I've been able to figure out and over the years we have progressed from time to take a shower to a 30 minute discourse over how she just took a shower yesterday and doesn't need another one and can't she just clean up with a washcloth. She complains constantly that the water is too hot, too cold, I'm hurting her, I'm using too much soap, shampoo or towels. I make it as quick and painless as possible. I tried the one arm, etc. at a time keeping the rest of the body covered, but it took entirely too long and we both lost patience long before she was clean. A week is about as long as we can stand the smell of her, even though we do a quick wash up morning and night.
Good luck and hope this helps, even if it's just to make you smile!
Try some dry shampoo in a can for her hair.. That could cut down on so many shampoos. Can you wash her hair other than in the shower? Maybe if you don't expose her body and hair to water at once, it might keep her temp up.
I'm sure other people know a lot more than this than me.Some caregivers deal with this all the time. I hope they will chime in.