My 86-year-old father has advanced dementia and is in a memory care unit. He is peeing everywhere but the toilet. Depends don’t help. He wears them but when he has to go he just whips it out and goes. Thinking years of working in rural setting with earth moving business doesn’t help. He went outside whenever he needed to for literally years. You can sometimes get him to sit on the toilet proactively but he won’t go. 10 min later - peeing in the corner, or the hallway, or the closet - there is no 1 place. He’s still mobile but slow. Doesn’t talk much and seems to have no awareness that what he is doing is inappropriate. He’s not embarrassed or upset. He also wants to strip naked all the time and often walks out of his room that way. He’s been giving all the ladies of the MC wing quite a show and really upsetting everyone. I know the staff are also tired of cleaning up his messes. I’m out of ideas of what to suggest. Any ideas out there?
Of course, speak to the NP about meds, but I'm not sure which 'meds' would be prescribed to deal with these matters. Advanced dementia means that an elder is totally unaware of where and what purpose the 'toilet' serves, etc. There is an Alzheimer's anti-strip suit dad can wear if they run into continuous problems with BOTH of these issues (stripping naked and toileting), here is a link:
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=alzheimers+anti+strip+clothing+men&crid=3TJW08Y67D3QG&sprefix=alzheimers+anti+strip+clothing+men%2Caps%2C189&ref=nb_sb_noss_1
This anti strip suit may actually be your best bet to deal with these matters. The staff can dress dad in a Depends in the morning, and then change him a few times each day, even if he pitches a fit; this is again something a trained CG should be accustomed to dealing with in a MC ALF. THIS is where the calming meds could prove helpful: to keep dad calm during the Depends changes.
Wishing you the best of luck with all of this. I hate dementia with every ounce of my being; my mother died in February in a Memory Care AL with advanced dementia and heart disease, so I feel your pain.
just a thought, I have no idea if it would work!
At least they don't have carpet down and cleaning up puddles is probably a big part of the day.
This really isn't 'your' problem, so don't make it so. No doubt you have plenty of other stuff to worry about, let the MC do what they're paid for.
The naked wandering--my FIL did that and he was NOT demented, Just liked to walk around naked and stand in front of open windows and doors and give the neighbors a show. That is an actual illness and since he wasn't MY father, I never brought it up as being inappropriate. My DH couldn't deal with the embarrassment, so it fell to OB who is a psychologist and he tried to work with FIL--didn't make much progress, it was a bend in his personality that couldn't be 'unbent'.
THAT was a much harder thing to deal with. Had he just been peeing outdoors or wherever--nobody would have batted an eye. The naked wandering? IDK, it was never 'solved'.
We’ve been at this facility less than a month. Moved my parents closer to me. Want to keep both of them in the same building. Worried they don’t want to deal with him and will ask us to move him to skilled nursing even though he doesn’t have any real medical issues. He’s in a memory care unit. My Mom is still on assisted living side. Both have dementia.
Staff can put Dad on the list with those that require scheduled toileting visits assisted by staff - on waking, after meals, before nap/bed etc.
Supervision to catch & redirect him at the other times.
This phase will pass. Once someone loses the ability to recognise their bladder signals, they will become incontinent. Pullsup style underwear or incontinence pads are then used & changed at regular intervals.
This is like Memory Care 101 stuff - speak to the Manager about his care plan & updating his toileting schedule.
staff say they are trying to take regularly but he won’t go. I have witnessed that myself - even after he has verbalized he needed to go.
it would be better if he just went in his depends. It’s just so hard.
Keep asking them for help.
Good luck.