My husband has vascular dementia, incontenance both ways, Foley catheter, and other health issues. Has had numerous UTI’s 2x with sepsis, that have taken significant decline with each episode. This last recent hospitalization he now is in a hospital bed unable to stand to transfer to a wheelchair. His loss of muscular mass is now evident. It is heartbreaking to see him in bed 24/7 not sit with him in our family room where we watch his favorite movies, music, activity of my daily chores, talking, dozing, asking him questions. His declines is mostly physical, he eats well, he knows us, his surroundings and many of his favorite tv shows, although he doesn’t comprehend everything, his thinking skills are not good. His attitude is good, never complains, anyone who calls he tells them he’s having a good day. Thank God, but for the first time the other day, he seemed troubled and I asked him what was wrong, he didn’t seem to want to answer but finally said, this is not good, I need some good news, improvement. It broke my heart. It’s so cruel, the hyper, trivia buff, phys Ed teacher, coach, athlete. I just tried to assure him we’d try to get him up out of bed, but I can’t and my son tried, it was so scary, he is dead weight I thought they both would go down. It lasted an hour in the wheelchair and by the time we got him back in bed he’d had a bowel accident.
I am now able to get hospice for him and as much as I know I need the help and know he’s not going to get better, I’m having a difficult time accepting this decision, crying at a drop of the hat because I’m now faced with the outcome. I’m not ready to lose him, give up on him, I’ve cared and worked so hard these past couple of years to do everything I can to fight this but I’m feeling I can’t fight for him any longer and it is God’s will. Help me Lord💧
You are an amazing caregiver.
You will be rewarded for loving your family trust me!
It doesn't get easier just look at this in the eyes of God. Take lots of viedo because you're going to miss their voices. Give lots of kisses 😘 have someone take the pictures of you guys together.
Heaven is an awesome place to relocate to.
Visit the experience of Heaven on YouTube by Kat Kerr ..your life will change.
I had the pleasure to taking care of my Auntie and when I was in it was sooooooo hard because I never had this type of responsibility but the Lord helped me in everything !!!❤.
It takes time but if you trust God he'll walk with you always 💯 You may not see him but he's right there 💯.
Praying for peace and favor for this journey 🙏 it will not last forever. You are loved.❤
First, we placed my dad’s hospital bed in the living room, which was the center of our family life. This gave him the opportunity to be involved in family life and not miss out and feel like he was a abandoned in his bedroom. We altered our traffic flow and lifestyle to meet his needs by keeping the house quiet when he needed to rest and inviting friends and families over when he was up to it.
The other important thing we did was to give him goals. The goals were mostly events for him to look forward to. For instance, family members’ birthdays, holidays the family celebrates, a friend visiting, a trip to the zoo, celebrating milestones, etc. we kept the goals simple so he could manage with his vascular dementia.
Hospice is incredibly helpful and not everybody who is placed on hospice stays on hospice. There are many people who have been taken off of hospice; in fact, Medicare requires the doctors to do regular check ups to see if the patient still qualifies for hospice.
I recommend that you sit down with several different hospice providers in your area and get an understanding of what the services they provide are and how the services are helpful for both your husband and you and your family. Medicare covers the cost. Hospice is about providing comfort and care.
You are so right it is God's will and while it is a very difficult situation, let God help you. Maybe you should see a priest or pastor for some counseling especially during this time as they have a great ability to help you deal with all the emotions running through your mind.
Best wishes during this very stressful and emotional time. Hospice is the right decision, I have experience with them and I can say it was a welcomed and very good experience.
Keep in mind there are no timelines...
My Husband was on Hospice for just over 3 years.
I would not have been able to keep him at home and care for him the way I was able to if it had not been for the Equipment, Supplies, Support and help that I got from the dedicated people from Hospice. From the Nurses, the CNA's the Volunteers and everyone else that helped make his last several years "easier" on me.