She’s only lived with us a few weeks, so I’m a Nub, but one thing I’ve noticed in the afternoon is, she gets increasingly grouchy which I attribute to her being hungry. She talks about food obsessively on a loop for hours - when I’m making it, what I’m making, if I’m getting take out, and then making lots of faces and glaring at me if she doesn’t think it sounds good (meanwhile she enjoys everything I put in front of her, so why the scowls?!) So, then I do the natural thing: ask her if she’s hungry and offer to make her something. She always refuses but gets increasingly hangry and occasionally spits venom, at which time I make myself scarce. Anyone have any experience with this? Looking for any helpful tips or tricks. Thanks!!!
My mother is difficult with food also.
However, I found out that 'snacks' work. If I put too much food (a regular plate of food) in front of my mother; she is not hungry and won't eat it. While my mother's 'refusing' to eat is an attention thing: I do have some tips that I found work (whatever the cause).
* put small plates with one or two pieces of cheese & one or two crackers in front of her, in those hangry afternoon hours
* if/when she eats this just replace the plate with another plate of 1 or 2 small pieces of something without saying anything.
* if she says she won't/can't eat it - maybe reply "oh, O.K well it is there in case you wanted a snack" or something along that line and then do it again in 30 minutes or so
* don't make a big deal about it with her
The really great thing is that she actually does eat what you put in front of her.
Just an idea.
Welcome to the site.
-Bevel
When I ask Mom if she wants a small snack for lunch, she usually says no, but when presented to her, it's eaten.
My mom will let me know she is still hungry right after she consumes a big meal and I tell her to wait at least 20 minutes and see if she is still hungry. She is usually full after twenty minutes.I will not give my mom any more food after a big meal. Did it and she complained of nausea and sometimes spits up. I remind her she will get sick so she is quite cooperative now.
I actually think as we age we do need to cut down on food intake. And the body knows when it's hungry...just not the broken brain.
Have snacks and juices or ensure nearby and available. My dad actually eats very little food because his dentures don't fit right. But he can scarf down a half sandwhich! Or cookies or ensure chocolate milk.
Best wishes, just stop the battles and enjoy some peace!
Hugs
Also, be aware of the foods she really likes and try rotating how often you serve them so she doesn't get bored. Giving her what she likes to eat when she's most likely to eat it will make caring for her manageable.
As for the scowling, it may be something she feels like doing. Our loved ones are who and how they are. Sometimes we just have to say "I don't get it." and keep it moving. I can only imagine how annoying her behavior is, especially when you're extending care to her. Be patient with yourself so that you can be patient with yourself.
Wishing the best for both of you.
Ground rule: Don't ask! - and don't urge her to eat.
Always sit down and share the meal with her - Engage in normal chit-chat and throw in a comment or two about the delicious food and thank her for her great suggestions for that specific meal. Give her small a portion on a RED plate (Red stimulates her appetite) - People are easily overwhelmed by too much on the plate and may also be confused if that food requires different utensils. I try to plan meals that are attractive and can be consumed using a single utensil - or it can be finger food. I use red dessert plates and replenish along the way.
PS Many of our elders have failing eye-sight which can make it difficult for them to see what's on their plates.
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