...so today when I called to check on Dad from my second job, he was completely out of breath. When I asked why, he said he was putting his shirt back on from getting X rays. At first I thought he was confused, so I called the ALF and after multiple rings, someone finally answered.
When I asked about it, they did confirm that a tech had just left Dad's room, but no one could tell me who authorized this procedure or why. I literally have no idea WHY he was x-rayed. It doesn't seem like Hospice to authorize such an invasive procedure without notifying me first.
I know that the ALF has a doctor that makes rounds, so maybe that person authorized it, but I'm really annoyed. Now I have to take time from job # 2 to track down WHO authorized this procedure and why.
Isn't there a rule somewhere that if a person is not capable of making decisions on their own to notify the responsible party?
I'm so stressed. This is NOT a good place to be at a customer service job you hate, and I won't get answers until Tuesday thanks to the holiday. I swear I CAN'T win with this caregiving thing.
My Dad use to call me saying he had been at a meeting, it ran late, he missed his bus back home, so he will be at the hotel. Well, the last time Dad took a bus to and from work was back int he 1940's, and the hotel he was saying was his Memory Care facility. Finally I learned just to humor Dad by saying "sorry you missed the bus, will see you tomorrow". Rinse. Repeat.
Just take a deep breath, and as this progresses you will learn to just say "whatever" to yourself when your Dad isn't making any sense. You need to remember it is not his fault, his brain is broken. And no matter how hard we try, we cannot fix it :(
I can't make heads or tails about what's reality and what's fiction anymore. I constantly worry that I'll mistake a real issue for an "episode" and screw up like I did with Dad's former Adult Day Care.
Dad told me for weeks that he couldn't breathe and I brushed it off as his dementia. It turned out that Dad was indeed running out of oxygen because that director wasn't communicating with me that this was happening. I dropped the ball and don't want to EVER do that again...
Sometimes I secretly wish...
Tiny, this kind of thing is exactly **why** you WANT dad in AL, especially under Hospice. It's another set of eyes and ears, taking care of what has to be done but does **not** need your immediate input. You don't need to worry over every little snort and sniffle - hospice has your back and has it covered.
You do realize he is going to pass sooner than later, or he would not be on hospice. When he is actively dying, you will need to have someone with him 24/7, and if he is at your house, then you will have nowhere to escape from the madness. He's fine where he is with medical personnel available to treat him immediately, no time off work for you needed. They are actually doing their job when it counts.
I know you are overwhelmed by all this but you really need to not take so much on. Dad is safe and being cared for. He gets his meds and is fed. My brother told me once "I was the problem". Not being mean but meaning I am a little OCD. You have to learn to pick your battles. Medicare just doesn't allow an Xray unless there is a good reason. When u talk to Hospice ask them to keep you up on Dads care. A call would not have hurt since everyone should know by now that your are invested with Dad. The nurse could have called and told you an Xray is being done for such and such reason. But remember, if Dad is ok mentally, they don't need your permission because he is capable to give it.
If he could see, he could at least read reminder notes to help with the dementia or plug in his own portable machine.
If he didn't have dementia, maybe he would MAKE SENSE!!! I never know WTH Dad is talking about now. I've made the mistake in the past of thinking he was having an "episode" when he was, in fact trying to tell me something that was going on.
If he could breathe (CURSES TO CIGARETTES), maybe he would be able to get around better or have better cognitive function.
The three issues together are just one big disaster for him and a pending mental breakdown for me...
Call the hospice SW.
Call the office of the AL physician.
I think I might ask the desk at AL to call you if/when the results come in.
My guess is that because your Dad is in a facility with other patients, that they would wish to stay on top of any " communicable diseases" such as Pneumonia, especially if he is showing S&S himself, to get him on treatment ASAP, to prevent the spread, and to aid and assist him of any untoward treatable distress.
I hope everything works out OK!
I hear your concern. I wonder if like pamzimmrrt suggested it could have been due to concern for pneumonia or another lung infection.
I hear you, it is a struggle to get a straight answer. But good for you for always preserving and doing all you can for your dad.
Generally doctors and nurses order the tests they feel are needed without seeking permission first.
I hope you can get the answers you are looking for after the long weekend.