Dad and Mom always treated me and my brother equally. I am one year older. We are co-POAs, and it is stipulated we must agree on everything. Unfortunately, we don't agree on practically anything! Politics is a screaming match. We have totally opposite views. (although that doesn't have much to do with Mom.) She will be 95 in July. She still lives in the house where we grew up. She is a hoarder of things...not garbage, very organized, lots of stuff in marked boxes, etc. When the time comes, I want to have an Estate Sale professionally handled, then sell the house. He wants to try to sell off the collections of stuff, then put a couple hundred thousand into the renovation of the house, then try to sell afterward. I don't think we would get much out of the time and money invested, and the area has had several buyers in the area come in and just raze the houses and rebuild their own house creations on the land. I hate to consider this, but I have an awful feeling I may end up with an attorney..... Anyone's thoughts???
I don't envy you and brother being co-POAs.
Grace + Peace,
Bob
But ... if this happens while you and brother are still POAs, then one of you has to convince the other, and a decision must be made. If it happens after Mom dies, then you are no longer POAs.
In the end, I sent a 26' truck load of furnishings that were left off to an auction where I netted $300. Nobody wanted "brown" furniture. My parents had beautiful colonial style furniture and that style has gone to barn wood primitives.
If I were to do it again I would still manage the sale myself because in the process I discovered important pieces that were of interest to the family and even historians. My father's WWII medical manual, for example would have gone out to the dump.
On the sibling issue, my sister and I started out disagreeing and now we speak mostly through lawyers. Things can go south very quickly.
Good luck.
My sibling and I were harmonious POAs when our remaining parent developed dementia and a terminal heart condition. We found an assisted living facility that met our high standards and were prepared to sell his possessions and home to help pay for it. We identified different "collections" (mid-century modern furniture, WWII memorabilia; you get the idea) and located dealers in the area who specialized in those things. We decided to sell the house more or less "as-is". The plan was to do this within the first few months of his stay in the ALF.
Dad died four days after moving to the ALF. That changed the scenario, because I became the executor of the estate. My sibling and I agreed it should be dispersed as quickly as possible - a house that no one is living in is a financial black hole.
We each took the items that had personal meaning to us, and sold the rest at auction, and to the aforementioned dealers. I did some cosmetic work to the house, and found a great Realtor in the area who sold it rapidly for a fair price - this saving the estate thousands in property taxes and upkeep. The entire physical estate was settled within four months - like ripping off a bandaid: done with minimal pain.
Here's what I learned: the contents of your parents' home are not worth much (unless there's a Faberge egg or a Monet in a closet somewhere). If you select an auction house, they will come pick up the stuff, take it away, and you will receive a check - you do not have to agonize over the individual value of each item. The house itself is nothing but a drain on resources; it should be sold ASAP.
The takeaway is: Let It Go.
I'm sorry your brother is not in accord with you... you seem to be a very practical person, and he is a dreamer if he thinks spending the next few years of his life eBaying is going to make your family significantly more money. I really wish you well going forward, good luck, and blessings.
What level of care does mom need right now? Does she have the funds to pay for it?
Unless you are generationally wealthy, your mom will end up on Medicaid and the house will be spoken for (either because you sold it to pay for her care or because you had to move her because she needed a higher level of care) and the house in lined by Medicaid.
You will both be shocked, I'm sure, to find that mom's collectors not bring big bucks.
Does your brother think that these collections that your mom has hoarded are going to fetch the hundreds of thousands of dollars needed to renovate the house?
Is your mom sitting on valuable collections? Or is it just assumed that what your mom has is valuable? Has anything been appraised?
You can hire an appraiser now or you can wait until your mom passes away but if you hire an appraiser you can get a better idea of what kind of value you're looking at. I have this mental image of you in the front yard having a yard sale and your brother in the house on his computer trying to sell the exact same items on ebay.
Don't start thinking "lawyer" yet. Once lawyers get involved everyone but the lawyers walk away with nothing.
I am curious to know where your brother will be getting the $200,000 to renovate mom's home.
I can't imagine what you could spend $200,000 on to fix up a house and even recoup that, much less make a profit. I
I suggest that you each get a real estate professional of your choosing to give you a CMA--Comparative Market Analysis. They will do this for free. Ask them whether any fixing-up or improvements would be profitable or make the place more saleable.
Then, if Bro still wants to do that and you don't, tell him you'll sell your half to him for its current value and give him the opportunity to make twice the profit. Win/win! If he whines that he doesn't have the $, he should be able to get a mortgage to do it, since he would only need to borrow half the current value plus the $100,000 he is asking you to put up for the improvements.
My personal choice would be turn it all into money and run. If he wants to hang around in sentimentality, fine--give him his choice. No animosity, both in agreement.
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