What do you use to clean an incontinence mess?

(Warning: a bit of a rant ahead, sorry)

Ok, I've mentioned many times that Mom is becoming more and more incontinent as she sinks deeper into memory loss and/or the early stages of dementia. She often forgets to change her incontinence pad, even if I remind her, or simply doesn't care to do it - it seems that everything is just too much effort for her.

Mom had a very good day yesterday, enjoyed breakfast out with the family for Mother's Day, and we took a long ride in the afternoon, all without incident. She changed her incontinence pad regularly, so there were no accidents, and generally had a good day, which made my day easier as well, as her caregiver.

Today, however, was another story. She went 6 hours without changing her incontinence pad (unbeknownst to me, because she claimed she changed it in the "early morning hours" while I was sleeping - which is not true, because the bathroom trash was empty when I got up). She resisted showering until about noon (which is a battle we go through every single time she needs to shower). I reminded her to take her pills 3 times, and she still didn't take them until I stood right there and made sure she did it.
Then, to top it all off, because she told me she had changed her incontinence pad but hadn't, she sat in her recliner and completely emptied her bladder - and claimed she didn't feel it or even notice it was wet - not even when she got up from the chair (which *should* have caused her to feel wet, cold and clammy - but didn't). The entire seat of the chair is wet all the way through from side to side and front to back. So apparently she waited far too long to go to the bathroom *and* to change that pad - the combination made a huge mess.

So now I have a useless 10-month-old, $500 lift recliner unless I find a way to clean it.
I need to know what you all use to clean up incontinence (urine) accidents to elminate the smell from the house and do a deep cleaning on a chair with padding in the seat. Would you recommend a solvent or a steam cleaner or what?

I'm thinking I need to invest in a small steam cleaner with an upholstery attachment to soak the padding with a cleaning solution and then suck it back out to eliminate the urine that has soaked into the pad and eliminate the smell/stain. I checked on having the chair professionally cleaned but I can't afford to do that if she's going to have accidents every few days!

Oh, and to answer any questions:
-I had a protective blue/white washable pad on the seat of the chair, like they use in hospitals - she soaked right through it, which tells me she sat there and released the entire contents of her bladder, not just a little leak. Should I be using something different? I spent quite a lot on a stock of these pads for just this reason, but if she's going to soak right through them, then maybe I should use something else. (And obviously, I plan to protect the chair a little better in the future, with a trash bag or some sort of plastic over the seat before I put an absorbent pad on top of it and tuck it in so she doesn't slide...)

-Mom has been checked over for bladder/urinary tract infection and has none - her doctor said her weight combined with her age and the fact that she's had 4 kids has just left her incontinent and that it's just getting worse because that's what happens over time. Her rapidly declining memory is contributing to the problem - she just doesn't remember if she changed her pad or not, and I think she actually may have completely forgotten to get up and go to the bathroom, and waited too long - so then she had an accident.

I appreciate your input, folks - I don't know where else to turn with these questions right now. I was so happy that yesterday went so well, only to be hit by this mess today. :-(

Ok...rant over. Thanks for listening.