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(Warning: a bit of a rant ahead, sorry)

Ok, I've mentioned many times that Mom is becoming more and more incontinent as she sinks deeper into memory loss and/or the early stages of dementia. She often forgets to change her incontinence pad, even if I remind her, or simply doesn't care to do it - it seems that everything is just too much effort for her.

Mom had a very good day yesterday, enjoyed breakfast out with the family for Mother's Day, and we took a long ride in the afternoon, all without incident. She changed her incontinence pad regularly, so there were no accidents, and generally had a good day, which made my day easier as well, as her caregiver.

Today, however, was another story. She went 6 hours without changing her incontinence pad (unbeknownst to me, because she claimed she changed it in the "early morning hours" while I was sleeping - which is not true, because the bathroom trash was empty when I got up). She resisted showering until about noon (which is a battle we go through every single time she needs to shower). I reminded her to take her pills 3 times, and she still didn't take them until I stood right there and made sure she did it.
Then, to top it all off, because she told me she had changed her incontinence pad but hadn't, she sat in her recliner and completely emptied her bladder - and claimed she didn't feel it or even notice it was wet - not even when she got up from the chair (which *should* have caused her to feel wet, cold and clammy - but didn't). The entire seat of the chair is wet all the way through from side to side and front to back. So apparently she waited far too long to go to the bathroom *and* to change that pad - the combination made a huge mess.

So now I have a useless 10-month-old, $500 lift recliner unless I find a way to clean it.
I need to know what you all use to clean up incontinence (urine) accidents to elminate the smell from the house and do a deep cleaning on a chair with padding in the seat. Would you recommend a solvent or a steam cleaner or what?

I'm thinking I need to invest in a small steam cleaner with an upholstery attachment to soak the padding with a cleaning solution and then suck it back out to eliminate the urine that has soaked into the pad and eliminate the smell/stain. I checked on having the chair professionally cleaned but I can't afford to do that if she's going to have accidents every few days!

Oh, and to answer any questions:
-I had a protective blue/white washable pad on the seat of the chair, like they use in hospitals - she soaked right through it, which tells me she sat there and released the entire contents of her bladder, not just a little leak. Should I be using something different? I spent quite a lot on a stock of these pads for just this reason, but if she's going to soak right through them, then maybe I should use something else. (And obviously, I plan to protect the chair a little better in the future, with a trash bag or some sort of plastic over the seat before I put an absorbent pad on top of it and tuck it in so she doesn't slide...)

-Mom has been checked over for bladder/urinary tract infection and has none - her doctor said her weight combined with her age and the fact that she's had 4 kids has just left her incontinent and that it's just getting worse because that's what happens over time. Her rapidly declining memory is contributing to the problem - she just doesn't remember if she changed her pad or not, and I think she actually may have completely forgotten to get up and go to the bathroom, and waited too long - so then she had an accident.

I appreciate your input, folks - I don't know where else to turn with these questions right now. I was so happy that yesterday went so well, only to be hit by this mess today. :-(

Ok...rant over. Thanks for listening.

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I bought a nice waterproof chair pad on Amazon that fits the recliner perfectly and is discreet. The color matches the chair so it's not obvious what it's for. I've found those hospital type pads don't work after they've been washed a lot. The urine soaks right through them.
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{Q} extra liners you can place into the depends

It took getting multiple free samples until we got the right size and ones with best absorbancy. Some were menstrual pads and a waste of time. Charm Medical from Pembroke, MA worked with me until we finally found one's that hold a load of urine.
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The blue/ white pads are supposed to be waterproof. You can also try getting some'chux' pads to put underneath for extra protection. I purchased my own carpet upholstery cleaner, they are not too expensive and very easy to use. Woo lite makes a pet stain cleaning product that may be helpful. She might need more than a pad, maybe a depends. They also make extra liners you can place into the depends. Another product, fit rite , has a medicated liner to keep skin healthy. Also I would recommend you look into ' validation therapy' for Alzheimer's and dementia. It may ease anxiety and frustration for your mom making it easier to manage her care and behavior.
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For the bed I am happy with the incontinence pad that is 20x33 inches for $12.99 and the reusable waterproof bed pad for $24.99. I have 2 of the smaller pads on top of the bigger one. Sometimes like today he wet through both layers. I try to get him up every 4-6 hrs, cut down on fluids after 4 PM. I am still working on diapers but even for a man the poise pads that hold the maximum urine works pretty good. Still have an over flow problem and use the clear vinyl underwear and the sani-pant also. Have plenty of gloves. I give him metamucil daily so I do not have the constipation problem and it does not give diarrhea, also have 1/4 of a fiber bar in AM. It is trial and error. I have the 20x33 in pad with me for Dr visits, and on the couches along with a lg towel. Bleach is my friend right now. He had stool (once) and urine dribbling on carpet which is not that old so put vinyl runners where he is mostly to prevent any more messes. Be creative. God Bless
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The blue/ white pads are supposed to be waterproof. You can also try getting some'chux' pads to put underneath for extra protection. I purchased my own carpet upholstery cleaner, they are not too expensive and very easy to use. Woo lite makes a pet stain cleaning product that may be helpful. She might need more than a pad, maybe a depends. They also make extra liners you can place into the depends. Another product, fit rite , has a medicated liner to keep skin healthy. Also I would recommend you look into ' validation therapy' for Alzheimer's and dementia. It may ease anxiety and frustration for your mom making it easier to manage her care and behavior.
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STANLEY STEAMER $97.00 usually to steam clean I think 2-4 rooms of furniture. Might be special. They steam clean with their van machine. I used to have them do annually all 5 bedroom mattresses and box springs and the carpets and the furniture in in 4 other rooms and the Granite floors. Also my kids stuffed animals there were only 400 or so of them but their crew would carefully do each and reposition everything back nicely. If you want clean and done call them and be done. It's well worth your time and money and sit down and relax while they make your home new again. I am a retired CNA FL and I believe it's the best. The chemicals and time and money lost will not remove the microscopic smell but sanitizer by them will and they'll even put a fragrance if you want too atleast they used too.
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Pet stain odor removers work wonders on the smell. To protect the chair after you get it cleaned, you can cover the seat in a heavy duty plastic. If you can sew or know someone who can, you can make washable pads with a water proof layer called (PUL) in them. They can be made to any size and thickness. Someone in the nursing home I worked at a long time ago made them for her mother. Her mom could not wear disposable diapers due to allergies and her extreme size. If we could not get her to the toilet quick enough, she could and did empty her bladder completely and the pads absorbed everything. It would add extra laundry but might help protect your furniture.
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rubbing alcohol dilutes smell of everything because it kills the germs ...bleach and Clorox are good too..these are the most effective and cheapest.....I dilute someclorox 50-50 and keep in a spray bottle in a handy place and use it for everything....I usually have full load of foster animals so I am the queen of clean and master of dilution of smells...doggies (tho precious)are like little kids...always making a mess. and like you....I LIKE FRESH..so-wipe down , spray house daily with a fresh pet odor eliminator and stock up on fresh room scents.....when she is on the furniture ( maybe designate "her" chair if possible but go to linens area in a discount store and ask them for waterproof mattress cover bedliners and use one for the chair !! put one on her bed and HER chair . toss a full size pretty sheet or blanket over it and the chair looks cozy .
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I LOVE my shark steam mop to clean up smelly urine. I tried other things but then my house smelled like cleaner and urine :( although I never tried the pet cleaner, that sounds like a good idea.
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I use something called Odoban, it takes the odors out of everything and is available at: The home depot in the USA. I would go the route of using the upholstery setting of a steam cleaner...
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Well this is a head's up for me as we are just beginning this phase of the Alz. Disease. I will get myself ready for this! By the way I brought him home from the Veteran's Home last Friday and he is SO GRATEFUL. He keeps saying, "Why did you bring me home and where will he stay now?" He likes this place and would like to stay here. He didn't remember the house at all. I told him, "He owns this house and he has every right to be here." He says, "But you didn't have to bring me home. " I say, "I wanted to bring you home." How could I leave such a loving soul in the Secure Unit with so many people who are completely gone! He was just a lost person there. The nurse told me not to leave him there long. She said after a month people in his shape are completely gone also. So that is why I tried so hard to get him out as quickly as possible. I am so glad I did. He will be good for a few months at least. I want him to be peaceful and happy as long as possible. I know I did the right thing!
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fire hose..
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Get into the PREVENTION MODE. You need to take her to the bathroom every 45 - 60 minutes. My mother may say she doesn't need to "go" and I reply, "Well, stand up and move around a little. The light is on in the bathroom, so if..." She always ends up there. Then, it's important to ask if she has a pad in her pants. Sometimes you need to actually check. Just tell her that sometimes (rarely...haha) she forgets to put one in. It seems like you could head off the flooding if you could get her to change her pad. Why don't you take a proactive stance on this? It will make all the difference!
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I wish we could edit posts.

I can see that possibly my wording in my original post saying "mom resisted showering" might be interpreted that I was trying to force her to shower. That's hardly the case.

Let me clarify a little bit so it's easier to understand.
Mom is *not* completely into dementia, nor is she completely immobile or handicapped. She is still able to walk (though not far) and performs most personal care functions on her own. What's happening is the early stages of dementia, where she is forgetting things easily, doesn't seem to notice when she has wet through her incontinence pad (so, loss of sensation down there - thanks for pointing that out, Pam) - which, when combined, is resulting in urinary incontinence issues that are difficult to control.

I do not force her to shower, and she is not so deep into dementia that she is frightened to do so. When I say she resists showering, it goes like this:

Me: Mom, why don't you take a shower?
Mom: I will - later.
(1 hour later)
Me: Mom, how about you hop in the shower?
Mom: I will - after I eat.
(2 hours later)
Me: Hower about that shower, Mom?
Mom: No, I'm going to take a nap now. I'll do it later.
(1-3 hours later)
Me: Ok Mom, time to take a shower.
Mom: No, I'll do it tonight.
(at this point, I give up in frustration and light a scented candle to cover the odors. Sometime in the next 24 hours, she will finally shower.)

Again, I appreciate the input and suggestions!
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Where did you get that I was "scaring her with shower', theresarowe? I don't believe I said that anywhere in my post, and I'm trying to understand where you picked that up from.

No offense, but please read my responses above. I am already using Odoban, and am using the fabric absorbent pads for her bed and chair - I've already stated this about the pads a couple of times - I even stated it in my original post.

I completely understand that she cannot help the incontinence problem, just expressing a little frustration, which is something we all feel from time to time, and asking for input on how to clean the chair. I appreciate the constructive and supportive responses and advice from those that have offered it.
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first this is going to happen over and over, she can not help it..............
there are several really good books on the subject.
buy some ODERBAN, Walmart and also SAMS has it by the gallon to make smaller bottles of it to spray.
now go on Ebay and by a Case of Pads, 30x30 good ones, a case with free shipping will cost you $37.99 that is 150 pads. buy her pull ups and also use
pads if you need them in them. try to get a easy clean leather chair, either way use washable pads and two throw away pads, on her chair all the time........
and her bed. you can't worry about a chair, she really can't help it. and scaring her with shower doesn't help either, they don't like it , and it scars them.
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One vote for Nature's Miracle. Soak it real good in the stuff, ASAP.
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Thanks again -

Ismiami - I am using the reusable pads (see my post above). Somehow, she went right through one of them. I'm going to start putting a trash bag or some sort of plastic between the chair pad and the chair itself, tucking the pad in to be sure it doesn't slide on the plastic. Last thing I need is her sliding onto the floor.

meatjeanne - thanks! I do use the Odoban already for various odors in the house - especially bathroom odors. I found it at Walmart, and it's been a Godsend.

UncleDave - thanks for the input!
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Lots of good suggestions on cleaning. Clean it, I am sure that will make it ok.

In the future rather than the blue pads, Walgreens or CVS carries reusable bed pads. Rather than the thin blue plastic these have a thicker quilt like top and a vinyl bottom. Layer theme with thick towels than go up the sides of the chair and the blue pads......I think this may make a difference the next time and there will likely be a next time.
Good luck
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I buy Odoban at Home Depot. It has helped ME with the poo smells. It is a concentrate, gives you all kinds of ratios for using. Says it's good for septic tank overflows...that caught my attention. I also spray several sprays when hubby is on the pot!! Sure helps me tolerate. I use the waterproof pads, I get at Walmarts. Sometimes have to use two at night, husband has NO idea if he has to go or not. I think you should not rely on mom's word....she probably doesn't know what she has done or not done today. Not an easy thing to do but you must do whatever makes things easier for YOU.
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To clean the mess. Use OXYclean and vacuum. There is a world of information if you search Google for Hydrogen Peroxide cleaning solutions. OXYclean is hydrogen peroxide with stuff added.
I cover sofa with washable mattress pads, cheap from Amazon and washable hundreds of times.

BTW owning a dog I use vinegar a lot.
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Thanks, everyone!

To answer a few questions:

-She uses incontinence pads - the ultimate absorbency, overnight, extra long kind. (Also the most expensive, because the store brand don't hold up for her.) I ordered sample after sample of various adult incontinence undergarments, and they simply don't fit her. Mom is very obese, and she has an especially large backside - the undergarments fit "around" her, but don't cover her butt. They stop just short of the top of her butt crack. (Sorry, no other way to say it). This means they're not going to stay in place and will be uncomfortable to wear - and if she has a #2 accident, it's going to be the equivalent of a baby's diaper and shoot right out of the waistband and all over her clothing. I really wish she could use them, but all of the ones we tried end up with the same problem - they fit around her waist, but are not tall enough.

-Yes, I've had to start basically asking her every single time she goes to the bathroom if she changed her pad - quite often she says she did, then stops and thinks for a moment and realizes she didn't, so back into the bathroom she goes (with a disgusted huff and puff on the way, lol).

-I'm using the white/blue fabric bed pads like they use in the hospital, white side up, so that's the absorbent side. For some reason, the one that was on the chair that day just didn't work - it went right through it. It's an older pad that has been around for a while, so maybe it's just worn out.

I appreciate all the input and ideas!
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Sorry, hit a wrong key and got cut off! As I was saying, the store brands are much better. They are all very similar from store to store, but they are all much better. Stater Bros' store brand seems to be the best. They all seem to hold a TON of pee, I mean, they're practically as heavy as a bowling ball when full and might just begin to leak at that point. I started using them for my mom a long time ago, calling them "throw away underwear", not diapers or depends, to preserve her dignity and reduce her resistance to them. These are seriously good enough, combined with, again, store brand bed pads, to protect the furniture for the most part- what does get on the furniture at that point (with my mom it's usually because she has what looks like restless leg syndrome and wiggles her legs and arches her back on and off all day and somehow manages to wiggle herself and pull on the pads so they are not completely under her bottom and some of the leaks get onto her bed and her recliner, which is leather so it doesn't absorb much anyway). Getting her up every few hours to go to the bathroom (even if she says she doesn't need to go, I say, well lets just get there and see what happens, even if you don't go, it will be good for you to walk a little) helps prevent most leaks from getting to the furniture. I hope this helps some.

ps, I keep making the mistake of believing her when she says she doesn't need to go, sometimes she says it because she has already gone, and doesn't feel the need to go now. On my best days when I'm thinking more clearly, I just get her up and say, lets go check out the bathroom situation.
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Susan- It sounds like she needs to wear adult underwear. Not "Depends" or any of the other "name" brands- I've discovered the store brands are MUCH
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Hope 22 was right on the dot. we covered my dads chair completely with plastic, put pads over the plastic, blanket and then pads. we also put plastic sheet over his mattress along with pads.
We pulled the carpet out of his room and replaced it with vinyl and clean it with bleach, this helps keep the odor out. good luck!
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Also, we use the adult pull up overnight underwear. much better than the pads..even with those, it will leak out, but the towels catch it...
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My Mom is totally incontinent and has been for some time. Before she became completely bedfast, she literally lived in her lift chair. What I did was purchase a heavy weight plastic sheeting and cut several whatever size I needed to cover not only the seat but also along the front and a little up each side...THEN, I had a lot of really thick white cotton towels that I kept handy and layed them on top of the plastic...it NEVER got onto the chair. The towels soak up the urine much better than those pads (which I also have) and they can be laundered, sanitized, etc. completely each time...it adds a little to the laundry but so worth it to me...it has saved us many times...
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oh to clean up ...Clorox but careful what you apply it to and always dilute it. Pet stain remover and a good carpet cleaner. Do you have use of a shop vac? They work great to get up allot but then you have to clean the shop vac out...I know the housekeepers when I worked in the hospital used shop vacs and industrial cleaners ..but carpet cleaners and pet cleaners should work just fine. nursing homes where I worked did much the same. With my handicapped son I had to use special cleaners as he has allergies up the wazoo. The blue pads allot of times the company that makes them have screw ups or as they like to call them irregulars..allot of times they practically give them away..they work just fine not even on the sides, but they work and are allot less expensive. Contact the company ,they should have a 1-800 number and I bet they would have allot of resources for you as well. Good luck and God bless
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Pet stain/odor remover, vinegar and hydrogen peroxide and an entire bottle of fabreeze along with a good steam clean works pretty darn good. If you could haul that chair out into the warm sun to help it dry might even do the trick.

I use "pee pee" pads which I place under the couch/chair covers. Not for my mom, she's not incontinent yet.... for my elderly dog who's developed a rather annoying leaking problem. *SIGH*

Best of luck to you !
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I would get a professional to come steam clean it. They have stronger equipment.

Does she just wear a pad and underwear? I'm Mom wears Depends underwear and a pad and sometimes that's not enough. We get the ones that are advertised as "overnight". They're the thickest ones.
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