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So I was brushing my grandmother’s teeth for her for some time, but one time she had swallowed her rinse water. The next time I tried, she couldn't stick out her tongue for me to brush it, and she wouldn't/couldn't open her mouth enough for me to do it that way. Now she just closes her lips and tells me no. Her tongue is pretty much completely white and her breath smells very bad. I feel horrible but I don't want to force a toothbrush in her mouth and risk her choking on the toothpaste. I know an unclean mouth makes for a constant dry feeling. She isn't fully able to drink her water so I have been dropping small amounts on her tongue from a straw. The aid is supposed to bring some lemon swabs soon, Do those clean the mouth or just moisten it? I have no idea what to do! I know she would feel better with a clean mouth, but I don't know how to get her there.

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Hi, I’m a dental hygienist. Anything to moisten the lips. Please do not use lemon swabs. They are very acidic and will dry out the mouth tissue even more. the tissue may be very thin and already dry, so they may actually burn her tissue. A very soft toothbrush dipped in Diluted baking soda in warm water with a bit of alcohol free mouthwash would probably be more comfortable for her. Even with gauze wrapped finger gently. ❤️🙏
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kjokjo Jan 2023
This one, for sure! ^ ^
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If she only has about a week left to live(your words not mine)why worry about her teeth? I mean really, let her be, and just enjoy whatever time you may have left with her.
And the hospice aide or nurse will show you how to use the swabs properly.
And make sure you leave nothing left unsaid.
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lilliansims Jan 2023
You’re right! I just felt as though i was doing her an injustice by not keeping her mouth clean as it used to be one of my responsibilities, and wasn’t sure if there was a way to do it that i didn't know about! But i feel better knowing that i should just leave that be because it would cause more discomfort to put her through that. Thank you! just felt like i wasn’t doing a good job as her caregiver in that way
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Is your profile correct regarding her health? Don't worry so much about her teeth, just be a loving granddaughter and make the time she has left enjoyable.
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lilliansims Jan 2023
well as of last friday, a nurse told me that based on her respirations and blood pressure/heart rate, she likely has about a week left. However a nurse came yesterday and had her blood pressure as fairly normal, her respirations regular and oxygen at 100%. The cancer spread to her bones first and then to her brain probably about two+ weeks ago. It makes sense to me that brushing her teeth seems frivolous, but i just wish i could because i know it would feel better for her.
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Sorry, I just read the update on her health, this would not be a solution I had the same problem with my mother as her dementia advanced. She wanted independence and didn't want someone putting something in her mouth. I found these toothbrushes on Amazon that are pre pasted but barely foam up and cause no issues swallowing "paste". Adult Pre-Pasted Disposable Toothbrushes - 144 per pack
She has hold them and play with them in her mouth at her leisure as she is sitting and it doesn't require any spitting out. She sometimes lets me get in there and I can do a real good brushing. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AU4LNBG/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1.
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Brushing my husband’s teeth is the most challenging task for me. I cannot brush the top or the lingual side of the teeth; only the buckle side (the outside). Otherwise, he will bite down on the toothbrush and won’t let go. I only use children toothpaste because he doesn’t know how to spit out anymore. He only swallows the toothpaste.

I am more successful at flossing. A caregiver helps me keep his jaws open wide enough to floss. But it takes two people to do that. If I am here alone, I give up flossing too.
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Lillian's grandmother has recently passed on folks. No need to keep this thread going any longer.

My condolences on your loss, dear Lillian.
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Is it a matter of her not drinking and having a very dry mouth or are you attempting to actually brush her teeth?

With Daddy, the last month of his life, he was opposed to drinking anything. He had choked pretty bad and wouldn't take liquids. I brought up cherry popsicles one day and those were the winners! He couldn't really feed himself, but he could 'bite' small chunks of popsicle and let the liquid run down his throat.

Mom was busy grinding up all his meds (Have you any idea how NASTY most pills are? Mom was still forcing his cholesterol meds down him, daily). The Hospice Nurse said "those pills are not helping in any way. Just give him what he will and can eat/drink". Mom was trying to do her best, I know.


I keep those 'pre-pasted' toothbrushes in the cars and my purse. DH always forgets to brush his teeth and we'll get out the door and he's "Oh dang, I didn't brush my teeth" and I hand him one of these. They aren't magical, but will do nicely for a quick clean. You can swallow that tiny amount of 'toothpaste' and it's fine.

Daddy would chew on those and he'd chew on the foam brushes. But I know his teeth were not cleaned to a very high standard once he was totally bedbound.

We picked our battles, I guess.
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The white covering on grandmas tongue might be thrush or cancor sores. She may not let you in her mouth because it hurts! There is a medication for this, check with a nurse or doctor.
Can your grandmother swish and spit? If so try warm salt water . Mckesson has a sponge mouth swab that is mint flavored. Also, try ice chips to soothe and hydrate.
Wishing peace and comfort for you both.
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Do not worry about brushing her teeth.
Spend time with her.
Make sure she is comfortable.
The swabs you get, moisten them with water. and use them to moisten her lips and if you can her tongue.
If she does not want to drink do not "force" it. Offer and help her but do not insist.
Ice chips are also good but if she is having problems swallowing or is choking just use the swabs.
There are also products "like" some of the lip balms that will moisten the lips but they are not water and will not cause choking.
You mentioned an aide. Is this someone from Hospice? If so they can tell you exactly what needs to be done, or talk to the Nurse about it.
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lilliansims Jan 2023
i apply vaseline to her lips on a regular basis, and actually right after posting this i got her to sip her water by herself! Before that, as i was dropping cold water on her tongue, i asked if it was good and she said “i love it” So she still enjoys a bit of water it’s just a little hard to understand her at times as i will ask if she wants water and she gives me no response, but she tries to talk and sounds raspier than usual and puts her mouth together as if she feels parched? if that makes any sense.
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lilliiansims: I am so sorry that your grandmother has passed away. Deepest condolences.
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