Mom has been having visual hallucinations for over two months now and is afraid to sleep in her bedroom. Dad-in-law, 96, still driving. He has not taken her to doctor, she does not have a family doctor. I have offered numerous times to take her and I get ignored. They also refuse any help and will not let strangers in their home. Terribly worried about them. Help please
You can call your local Area Agency on Aging and ask for a "wellness check". They will come out and assess your MIL and FIL's ability to live independently.
It worked on my Dad to get him to update his older than dirt Will, by telling him there are new laws and the government could get half of his estate. Next day I was on the phone making an appointment with an Elder Law Attorney.
A urinary tract infection might be behind this -- and that would be pretty easy to clear up. Or some other infection. Or dehydration. Or dementia. Who knows? But won't it be good to know? Well, to you and to me, yes. But apparently not to your in-laws.
Does FIL understand that she has hallucinations, and that may indicate something fixable? What is his reason for ignoring this health concern about his wife?
If she were seeing kitty cats in the dining room and enjoying them, that might not be a problem (other than possibly indicating a health issue). But what she is seeing has her afraid to sleep in her bedroom. In my mind, that means she deserves some medical attention.
If you can make any progress with getting her to a doctor, I suggest a geriatrician.
Meanwhile, there is no point in trying to talk her out of her hallucinations or to argue that what she sees isn't really there. It is very real to her.
Is FIL still a safe driver? Good reflexes? Good memory? Or is this an issue you worry about, too?
What kind of help would you like to see them have, if they could be talked into it? Cleaning? Help with bathing? Cooking? Medication management?
Unfortunately, these are often "waiting for a crisis" situations. If one of them falls or has an accident that may change their willingness to have help.