I have cared for my wife since her horrific accident when washing machines fell on her from the height of 30 feet causing horrific injuries.
The problem is due to her brain injury it is getting more difficult for her and she is getting more disorientated. I am a 24 7 carer she takes up every minute of my time, and leaves me very little time to do anything else.
I am told at a law forum that I should be obtaining a guardianship order, but I do not have any time to do this, otherwise I would have done it a long while ago, is there any way I can get round this situation.
The lasting I wanted was to have any more problems I have already got my hand full just trying to keep us a float.
I would like to give you this advice, https://youtu.be /TB0k7wBzXPY in case the link is remove, Google this (I am FishHead) we have all been victims and have paid a dear price for our ignorance, but let's try not to take that ignorance to our graves with us.
I hope such a nightmare like this never happened to you, in one second I lost my wife, and became a 24/7 carer, an establish business for nearly 20 years I had to close it, lost all of our friends and neighbors, had to distance ourselves from everyone to save them the embarrassment of making excuses why they could not help, currently we are both surviving on our pensions.
Well as far as this big money I'm after, I have managed to spend all of our lives savings, both my parents have died since and using what they had left me from their estate.
I am yet to see the money that is suppose to be due to us for this nightmare of this horrific incident, I realize when this is all over, if I survive I have to obtain justice from this pathetic legal and judicial system, please forgive my soul and don't think for a moment that money played any importance in this scenario, if it had I would have dropped all of my responsibilities to my wife and pursue the money due to us.
Veronica91, you say you don't know us well if you bother to Google colinberry1 there is enough of information on the Internet about us and our family, but as for Veronica91, you could even be Costco's solicitors for all I know. If you at all interested in our situation, there is everything about me on my pearltree,
I have not heard of anyone on this site say they are caring for a loved one or a relative they feel a duty towards, for MONEY. yes there are some out there who try and succeed in skimming the cream off the estate and dumping the relative in a NH on Medicaid. But most stories relate to the financial sacrifices that caregivers make
We don't know you so can not judge your motives harsh as this sounds, we can not talk to Mary. In the present circumstances her care is assured whether you like the methods or not. You have said no one else would care for Mary so what happens if you are struck by lightening? Good care is expensive but thank God or Costco the money is there for her comfort
Mary is the one who had her life ruined with no prospect of recovery the money is available for her personal care for the rest of her life. Did you sue Costco for the loss of Mary as a wife?
I would feel more sympathy if you said you needed money to make alterations to the house for Mary's comfort, maybe a spa, motorized wheel chair of other advanced medical equipment. You are simply trying to have Mary declared incompetent to get your hands on her money. Can you justify your position?
I do not know how we could help here if you have already invested $400K fighting authorities. I think this is what CM is also trying to understand.
Actually I have been thinking that what you need is an advocate. But who you could persuade to take on the role, especially since you have seem to have trouble trusting anyone in an official position, is a difficult question. I assume you've no faith in social services; what about PALS? I also assume that you've had the CAB running for cover long ago; but you could always approach them and ask; the worst that can happen is that they say no. But it's always going to be true: unless you're clear in your own mind about what you're expecting and would like to happen, how can anyone help you?
In any case, if you do decide to ask someone to act as your advocate, please remember that any person prepared to do it will be a working professional with only 24 hours in the day. It may be distressing when people don't seem to take time to listen, but they simply haven't got that time: they need to get on with whatever it is you're expecting them to do.
Write down a factual summary sheet, stating events, decisions, parties directly involved, facts and numbers, get it down in date order. Do not wander off the point. Do not include your opinion of the legal and medical professions. For God's sake do not treat them to your personal thesis on brain injury. Anyone trying to help you achieve anything is going to need to see clearly what has happened in fact, not hypotheses and suppositions; and they simply will not have time to mine the data for themselves. Do not omit incidents where you worry that people might think, correctly or otherwise, that you yourself made an unwise move; even if your advocate does think you have at times been in the wrong, that will not stop him or her wanting to help you move forward from here, and he or she needs to have that information too.
If you grit your teeth and go through the guardianship process, Mary's money will be available for spending on her - but you will have to follow all guidance to the letter, like it or not, or it'll be out of your hands again so fast it'll make your head swim.
Your own compensation: it's a guess, but is this tied up in a dispute about costs? If so, you might as well wave it goodbye. Then the worst that can happen is that you're pleasantly surprised if there is anything left at the end of the dispute (we should live so long…).
I'm sorry that I can't help. I hope you'll find someone who can. Best wishes to you both,
Colin
Well it is not in my persona to bring it to that equation, but you're right in some ways.
What happens to Mary if something happens to me, well you can say that about all of us?
I did consider that, I approach Mary's ex-husband he is the only friend we have now, people just don't want to get involved with someone in Mary's situation, but I managed to keep our relationship amicable with each other I was hoping if anything happen to me he would take over.
Without saying anything to him, he said to me you better take care of yourself because Mary will go straight into a home. Wow…. he said I cannot deal with anything like that, the way she is she would probably stay in a room. Surprisingly he went on to say when he was visiting his dad when he was alive he messed himself, but he told his dad I have to go now I can't deal with anything like that.
Well I suppose we're all different to each other, but I guess if I went she would be in the hands of our creator, I cannot see my sons taking responsibility but I'm sure that they will make sure she is taken care of.
Colin, your devotion is touching; but, QED, it has been ineffectual, not to say counterproductive. Besides which, what happens to Mary if something happens to you? Rethink your support network. Again, I wish you both well.
I would give up my life to care and protect her, something that you cannot expect out of an ordinary carer. My wife used to work for several care homes one of which, a carer was killing off the elderly patient, my wife kept saying to me it's scary there I don't want to work there any longer. We found out several weeks later that a male carer was knocking off some of the patients on the news. The ironic thing was at the end of the road was Potters Bar police station.
Well a change to take place for the court of protection, I must say thanks to the people that have been fighting hard to obtain justice for their loved ones. Well it is also ironic that our barrister comes from 39 Essex Street chambers,
Well I don't expect these people to release our money, as you see a small proportion owing is Mary's the large proportion owing is mine, the closure of my business and caring for her for the rest of her life.
Well Countrymouse, I will have to beg to differ to your views. I believe my marriage laws plays a role in this matter, before any of us heard of the Court of protection or the mental capacity act 2005 we have managed to get on pretty well without it, and the controversy it has caused brings it into question, and I also wonder where did we get this idea from, could it have been the USA?
I wonder why do we pounce on their corrupted laws, but choose to ignore some of their very best.
Can you find any common law stating that a husband does not have any right to his wife's affairs if she is incapacitated, well I have been looking for this law but I cannot see it in writing?
Well I have a saying, let the thieves steal from their own, and leave others alone.
Well I had to take my wife to Fore Street Edmonton every month to see a psychiatrist, I was told by experts on brain injury that it's pathetic, she should be going to rehabilitation, anyway one month they had a psychologist and a neuropsychologist there to make a report on my wife, the neuropsychologist sent us to Queens Square London to see another neuropsychologist I take it she must be her superior to verify her findings, that is when this neuropsychologist told me the whole scenario was disgraceful.
I believe you wanted to know about her admittance, she was flown by air ambulance to the Royal London and finally discharge to Barts Hospital as an outpatient, I must say the parking for these hospitals is £4 an hour a night mare, every day I had to obtain £20 in pound coins, you have to be pretty rich to be hit by falling washing machine these days.
Well you have asked a very interesting question, yes who was coordinating my wife's post discharge care? I presume it must be the neurosurgeon that was in charge of her case, and also the expert witness who works at Harley Street for huge corporations. If you take a look at her discharge papers from the Royal London you can see that nobody wanted to be responsible for her discharge, it is totally incomprehensible.
Countrymouse, another good question (her rehab) well when the solicitor and his buddy, The Official Solicitor ended the case in 2006 about several weeks later we had an appointment from Edgware Road hospital, saying due to your wife's recent accident, well I phone the hospital to say it wasn't a recent accident, it took place on 5 April 2003, she said there was nothing about it on the records she thought my wife had just recently had the accident. I must add they were wonderful psychologists that we saw extremely understanding and bewildered about our case.
We decided that my wife was not going to stay there for 6 weeks, we can no longer trust whom ever is in charge of her case, I probably would end up with a dead wife.
Countrymouse, I ran a business involving building and maintenance for 23 years, and specialise in plumbing and electrical, I do not claim to know the workings of a hospital or how solicitors should orchestrate themselves, you must remember in 1 second my life turned into a turmoil, I had agreed contracts that had been waiting for a year, thank God a lot of my customers are also my friends, some of the work had to go, I had to employ an extra person to help me clear what I had already started and close the business.
Countrymouse, by the way as a boiler engineer at the time with full qualifications, I personally would not fit a boiler that has been tampered with, for the reason I could have spent a couple of hours on it and decided I could not guarantee its full duration, would it be fair to the customer I have too asked myself, so my policy is I would only fit a new system if I took it out the box myself, therefore the customer and my insurers would have a fair deal.
If you feel that this is personally insulting to you, I can understand that: it would hurt my pride too, if I were in your shoes. However, presumably, the aim of suggesting that you apply for guardianship is that you would then take charge of spending on her behalf and thus become more fully involved in managing her affairs. In that case, everything you do would be closely supervised, and would have to be accurately accounted for. Of course. What else would you expect?
You've spent the last ten years annoying and alienating the various authorities; now you're hoping there will be some way for you just to get on with looking after Mary unchallenged, in your own way? Not. A. Chance.
Listen. Costco has settled. The court is satisfied that your wife has been adequately compensated for her injuries. That is the court's decision to make, not yours. So far so good.
Costco has paid the compensation. The money was paid and taken into trust by the court. At that point, the story ceases to have anything at all to do with Costco. They owned up, they paid damages, end of story as far as they're concerned.
I expect it does baffle you that various officials would not discuss with you what is happening with the money. The stark reality is that this is none of your business, because it is not your money, it is your wife's money; and not having POA, which she couldn't give you because she allegedly lacked capacity, you have no right to act on her behalf. I know she's your wife, but that's how it works. Her compensation is her compensation, and nothing to do with you in the eyes of the law.
This "for instance" might make it easier to accept their attitude: suppose, just suppose, that instead of being you, you were a completely different type of husband, a really nasty piece of work. Suppose your wife had always lived in fear of you, and now was suffering from a disability, and had received a large lump sum from the people who had injured her. And suppose then that the court cheerfully gave you complete control of her affairs, saying "there you go - look after her, mind." What would you think of a court that would do that to a helpless, injured person? And even if the hypothetical wife said to the court that she agreed to her husband's taking charge, would you just take her word for it?
There are many less good husbands and wives than you and Mary out there. The courts have to assume the worst, or they will be taking terrible risks with people who desperately need their protection. And how are they to know what kind of husband you are? They can't tell by looking, you know.
So you either learn to play nice, and co-operate with the people whose duty is to protect your wife, or you give up and let them take over altogether. Nothing in law obliges you to stay with your wife unless you choose to, actually - you could leave tomorrow and the state in all its glory would step in to care for her (if you can call what they do caring). But the law definitely is obliged to make very sure that anybody, including you, who goes anywhere near your wife's money is monitored closely. That's their duty.
Lastly, maybe you don't see why all this has to happen. I agree that it's very possible that none of this safeguarding rigmarole has any relevance to the reality of your and Mary's relationship. But what does that change? What difference does it make if you or Mary or I think it's a good system? It changes nothing. You play the game by the rules, or you don't play.
We went to court believing that our solicitor was applying to be removed of the records, and certainly not to remove us from having any say in the matter, that is what the court hearing was suppose to be all about. Well the more I talk about this case the more pathetic it becomes.
We did not want to push it any further because I realize we were playing with something far greater than we could begin to believe, we went to the court a week later to ask for Mary's compensation. The Court manager looked into his computer on our case, and said that you have been awarded judgment, but extremely unusual I have never seen this before they had not entered the amount awarded, haven't you received the money, well I can only advise you to go to the court funds office.
Remembering this is all in the city, I took my wife home and return to the court funds office in another part of the city the following week, the manager told us we can't tell you anything about the case we are instructed not to. Well that was another wasted journey to the city considering my wife has a spinal injury having to walk to all these places.
Cutting the story short we went to see the official Solicitor even though we believe she had no right to be there, to asked her about the money, but she was not there, she phoned me later and she said that we require a report on Mary's capacity, a little bit ironic when everyone now has been paid except the person with the severe injury.
Well by now an expert on LinkedIn, said to me you're fighting a lost battle when a large corporation is involved they will destroy you both just worry about your wife. Well that is what I decided to do, all the money in the world is not as important as my wife and I left it there. To your answer now my wife has not received anything at all of her compensation, actually it has cost us thousands for dismissing the 1st 2 solicitors all we had in return was £5000 at the end of this so call case.
Well Countrymouse, first of all we both believe that no one has the right to remove our identity turning us into a nonperson, so to people like us is there a way to obtain help without declaring my spouse as a nonperson, that is what I was trying to get at.
I do not see why the state requires or demand that a person has to become a nonperson before receiving any help, especially if that person has a spouse, and a spouse who is willing to take care of his spouse but require a guardianship order to do so, because at the end of the day the spouse is going to have to do the job anyway.
"Well I was totally ignorant to the whole scenario of brain injury, after listening to the neuropsychologist I started to read all about civil procedure rules by Lord Woolf he warned solicitors on their behaviour."
Ok. So:
Who referred your wife to the neuropsychologist? Barts? Your GP? Who?
This referral resulted in an appointment one year following the injury, correct?
So, between your wife's discharge from Barts and the appointment with UCH, what happened with regard to her rehab? Nothing? Or something? Who was co-ordinating your wife's post-discharge care?
This is the type of important information that is missing. This is what people need to know if they are to understand your profound sense of grievance.
But in any case, leaving that to one side: your consultant is concerned about the delay and tells you that your wife should have been referred immediately for rehabilitation. And - seriously? - your first thought is to look at the Woolf Report? Why? What's that got to do with your wife's medical care? What solicitor are you holding responsible for a failure to refer your wife promptly WITHIN the NHS?
Mate, seriously, you're all over the place.
But to use your own analogy, if you discover that the engineer who fitted your new gas boiler was not CORGI registered, no you don't rip it out and get a new one. You get an engineer who definitely is CORGI registered to check the work and see if there was anything wrong with it.
In your case I suspect the second, third, fourth engineers told you the boiler was fine, once they'd had a chance to look at it properly, and you didn't like what they told you. And then someone else whose completely different boiler in a completely different context had blown a hole in his kitchen wall told you they were all out to make sure you die of carbon monoxide poisoning…
But this is too important for all that kind of argy-bargy. What do you want to achieve?
When a lawyer fails to follow their civil procedure rules with brain injury they basically could have destroyed the patient. A patient with brain injury has to have rehab within the 1st 6 months of there injury, you have to imagine it is like a tin of gloss paint with a whole at the bottom they have to receive rehabilitation as soon as possible, a neuropsychologist at Queens Square London told me it is disgraceful my wife should have received rehabilitation immediately, even though this was a year later, she gave me all of her information including her phone number to get our lawyers to call her immediately, but they just ignored it.
Well I was totally ignorant to the whole scenario of brain injury, after listening to the neuropsychologist I started to read all about civil procedure rules by Lord Woolf he warned solicitors on their behavior.
The more I read the more I realize they have damage my wife to the point of no return, the 3 solicitors had let her down and concentrated their interests in protecting Costco's as if she was nothing, the wife that I would have done anything for, but to them she was nothing.
Once they realize I knew what they all had done, they started to turn against me, it would have been easier for me if I remain ignorant to it all but that was not my persona, I had to know everything that should have been done, including the solicitors fiduciary duties.
Well I realize they have failed her in every way, to think that they done it to a brain injury patient, with 3 fractured vertebrae’s one of it was nearly crushed to pieces, the CT scan nurse said she never have seen the vertebrae crushed like that before and she had been doing it for 15 years how did my wife received it.
Look. Nobody - nobody - thinking about it seriously is going to belittle how horrible your wife's accident was. I slightly despair of getting to whether she received compensation, how much it was, and how her funds are now controlled; but here's the thing. What would help you from here? Is there anything that would make your and Mary's life easier?
http://www.sra.org.uk/Solicitors/code-of-conduct/rule2.page
Rule 2.01 sets out situations in which you must refuse instructions or, where appropriate, cease acting. These might include the following:
• (a)Breach of the law or rules
(c)
Duress or undue influence
It is important to be satisfied that clients give their instructions freely. Some clients, such as the elderly, those with language or learning difficulties and those with disabilities are particularly vulnerable to pressure from others. If you suspect that a client's instructions are the result of undue influence you need to exercise your judgement as to whether you can proceed on the client's behalf. For example, if you suspect that a friend or relative who accompanies the client is exerting undue influence, you should arrange to see the client alone or if appropriate with an independent third party or interpreter. Where there is no actual evidence of undue influence but the client appears to want to act against their best interests, it may be sufficient simply to explain the consequences of the instructions the client has given and confirm that the client wishes to proceed. For evidential purposes, it would be sensible to get this confirmation in writing.
Ceasing to act
8.A client can end the retainer with you at any time and for any reason. You may only end the relationship with the client if there is a good reason and after giving reasonable notice. Examples of good reasons include where there is a breakdown in confidence between you and the client, and where you are unable to obtain proper instructions.
9.If there is good reason to cease acting, you must give reasonable notice to the client. What amounts to reasonable notice will depend on the circumstances. For example, it would normally be unreasonable to stop acting for a client immediately before a court hearing where it is impossible for the client to find alternative representation. In such a case, if there is no alternative but to cease acting immediately, you should attend and explain the circumstances to the court – see rule 11 (Litigation and advocacy). There may be circumstances where it is reasonable to give no notice.
Our biggest problem is, our 3rd solicitor totally ignored my instructions, breaking the trust that his fiduciary duties demand. He decided to bring in an official Solicitor to help him end the case so he can be paid, he walked away with £400,000 his official solicitor excepted the offer on behalf of us, and ended the case and put my wives money in Court Funds, tautly against the rules but we are in no position to do anything about it.
If he did not want to follow my instructions, the protocol is that he approaches the court to ask to be removed of the records, well that is what he told us he was going to do, but we were surprised to find out at court he obtain an official Solicitor to end the case, it is like a plumber agreeing to do the job requested by you, to strictly follow your orders on what you want. But this lawyer decided to do different, refusing to accept any of your instructions, brought in a floating trusted plumber to agree with the job done. The problem is our job done is stuck in the care of Court Funds, now your plumber is demanding that you produce an expert report of your mental capacity.
Well I do not know that anyone you employed had the right to do that, after refusing to follow your instructions, this is all new it is certainly not in the rulebooks, so I'm hoping that the police can enlighten me.
There is a little more on my case here. http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Single-Mild-Blast-Exposure-Can-1706787%2ES%2E276420827
Well it sounds pretty mad having to higher a lawyer to sort out your Private Disability Insurance, more nightmares when you certainly don't need it, they take 25% of your settlement, and they tax it. Well anything to keep us poor.
The 1st solicitor we had, never knew the meaning of CPR rules, took 3 to 4 months to answer our letters, never saw the plaintiff till 8 months after the accident. The Law Society said that they could no longer be involved, the next step for us to take is to sue the solicitor for professional negligence, could you imagine a person that badly injured have to start a 2nd case suing her solicitor for professional negligence. To obtain is bundled of files the firm wanted 15,000 but we had to pay £5000 +VAT.
My opinion of the 1st solicitor, a child that has been given a sweet shop for Christmas.
Our 2nd solicitor, failed to turn up at the hearing, had the case dismissed.
I went to the health and safety officer for Waltham Forest to obtain their report, our solicitor phoned me after hours to say that I could not have the report because Costco's had accepted liability, this is our 1st solicitor the only job that he had done that took such speed, after visiting the health and safety Department that evening.
So you see within the 1st month I manage to have the firm except liability, only for the 2nd solicitor to have the case thrown out of court.
I had to approach the Law Society to have the firm obtain a barrister to get the case reinstated because liability had already been obtain.
A huge Law firm opposite London Bridge Station, called Anthony Gold would only take the case on if we sue the previous Solicitor for professional negligence and get our compensation that way, of course we refuse.
After several attempts to get another Solicitor we finally got our final one, with time totally run out.
My opinion on the 2nd solicitor, the case was conducted by his superiors who ran the firm, the firm was totally lacking in empathy, the solicitor only had 2 years experience and he was dealing with a brain injury case. Rootless, prepared to take the fall on behalf of Costco's.
The 3rd firm, I thought I had finally found a fully experience Solicitor with experience of brain injury, she heard our case I presented her all the documents I had filed so far. She also obtains the bundle from the 2nd Solicitor. I cannot remember of hand how much it was but considerably less. I realize this is our last chance, the time has run out.
Happy to know that I had obtained a solicitor that understood brain injury, I could finally relax. She call me later and said she was extremely busy her partner would run the case while she was way, but finally it was apparent that she had given the case to another partner that specialize in pneumoconiosis a lung disease from coalmining, well I find myself totally trapped I cannot get another solicitor because my time is up, that means my 3 years it is over. I have to accept the consequences.
The 3rd solicitor knew that I keep all copies provided by the firm, letters and e-mails, so this Solicitor hardly sent us any letters or e-mail, he made us go to his office whenever he needed to discuss anything.
What the previous solicitors fail to do, He never obtain the required rehabilitation my wife required his expert witness promised to help my wife and said he could definitely help her, but he never followed it through.
He never knew the meaning of fiduciary duties, never followed my instructions. He decided to call in an official Solicitor to take over our place and ended the case.
Not exactly the type of plumber you would like in your home. Recommended job, dictator.
My opinion on this Solicitor, extremely heartless, only suitable to work for the SS, would be handy if Hitler was still around, extremely devious.
But after all I am only doing what my grandparents had to do if they were in the same situation, but they did not have a government claiming to care and placed all of this pathetic restrictions on them.
Colin, I'm afraid I'm none the wiser in terms of the actual events that have taken place in your wife's claim for damages. Happy to leave it there if you are, and I wish you both all the best.