After calling the doctor and waiting for a social worker to come and loosing the first caregiver in the home and trying to get a new one for the interim we have now decided to place dad. Im not sure how this is all going to go, I know he will be upset, I know he will fight it at first, but he sleeps almost 20 hours a day, or just sits in his chair with his eyes closed, he doesn't engage in anything, he doesn't watch TV or even go out to the porch to feel the breeze in the evenings. I want to cry, but also feel once settled this is going to be a major relief and happy thing. No one will visit him because of his current living conditions. I try my best to clean as much as I can when I'm there but it seems in a matter of days the toilet is a disaster and there is dirty dishes and horrible food everywhere. My heart is breaking as this is the most wonderful daddy but I have to do what's best for him. that is the only thought in my mind. He will thrive in the long run. Anyway, comments, thoughts etc.
My LO, who had dementia, did pretty well in AL at first, but, soon it was apparent that she needed a much higher level of care than a regular AL.(Have you discussed what level of care that he will need with the AL?) We moved her to Memory Care and it was the right move. That's where she really seemed to fit in and relax. She seemed to sense that she was somewhere where they knew how to care for her and where other residents shared her condition.
Will your dad accept the care at AL or resist? That's one thing that we had a problem. With a regular AL, their staff is not really trained or equipped to manage residents who are refusing baths, refusing meds, totally incontinent, etc. I was getting a lot of phone calls about her need for more care. I'd just keep that in mind, so that you are prepared. AL is great for some, but, with some, their level of care may be higher than what they can provide.
Please let us know how things go with your dad.
What will be hard is downsizing what Dad will take to his new place. My Dad wanted his 200 books but I asked him to sort through them. The standing joke was Dad was now taking 199 books :) He had room for bookcases, so why not, if it made him happy. I let Dad take whatever was within reason.... no, Dad, your workbench won't fit in your room.
Hopefully your Dad will thrive in his new home, mine did. He was happy as a clam and he didn't need to worry about his house any more. I quickly sold his house and made sure he was part of the whole process.