Because my husband doesn't qualify for assistance due to 'too many' assets, he thinks we should get a dissolution to our marriage. If it works, I'm okay with taking this avenue. Has anyone tried or done this? I'm a bit younger (10 yrs) than him and he doesn't want me to be left with nothing when he passes. He has MS and may live another 10+ years cause he is otherwise, healthy as a horse. He's 70.
Remember he may have MS, but MS does not have him!!!
Good luck on this adventure in life and continue to enjoy the things you have been doing for many more years to come.
But the option of divorce seems extreme to me, and I do question the priorities of whichever person it was first suggested that to them. Not as extreme as suicide, of course, which would be better still for the surviving spouse (just think of all the expense it'd save). Hey, if you could make your suicide look like an accident, the surviving spouse could even collect on a life insurance policy..!
MJ, I am sorry for the situation you find yourself in. Alzheimer's is horrific enough, without financial insecurities to add to your troubles. But as you have already realised for yourself, the fact that an option is feasible doesn't make it ok. Sometimes I feel hollowed out by living in a world that puts financial considerations above all others, and would, for example, break up a long and loving marriage - which, again, I'm sure this is - so that the surviving spouse won't need to access social security. How does that make anything better?
The couple were "living together" for mutual benefit.
She needed protection and guidance related to mental and poor education issues.
They love each other.
She got pregnant.
He wanted to get married before baby was born, so baby'd be "legitimate"---kind of an old-school perspective.
Because they married BEFORE the baby was born, it meant HER Medicaid benefits were slashed.
Medicaid stopped covering prenatal visits, and refused to pay anything for the labor and delivery.
Medicaid assumed his work insurance was covering things--it wasn't; they couldn't afford it; his hours were cut; etc.
Because of this rocky financial start several years ago, and because they were living so close to the brink financially, that huge medical bill alone, kicked off a downward spiral of issues that have resulted in them not being able to pay their house payment, unable to pay other bills, lack of health care has pushed all their health to the limit.
IF they'd only waited until the baby was born, THEN got married, things would have been more stabilized financially.
They are currently awaiting eviction, have NO income now to pay rent anywhere, as he's had to stop working for health issues.
[[Yes, they have been counseled to re-apply for DSHS benefits]]
Timing is Key.
Sensible Planning is Key.
FOR ELDERS:
IF a couple has relatively few assets, so that splitting them would result in each being able to access some help systems, it might work
BUT...
There's that pesky 5-year look-back.
IF a couple is thinking of doing this, it needs done long before potential need.
AND, there needs to be REAL trust between them, that each will still be there for each other---or simply be ready for the possibility that that divorce "on paper" was really more to allow each person to have a separate life---
I'd say,
Be really happy inside yourself; have your own life, each of you!
Be stable and willing to live alone or shop around for other partners, because that marriage license? sometimes, during hardships, might be the only thing holding two people together, making them think about how to better resolve their problems.
OTH, some divorced people might still stick together to help each other, no matter what.
But it has to be done long before need, to properly cushion against that 5- year look-back by DSHS.
I tried everything I could to get it forgiven. She has insurance, but they aren't doing enough. I'm changing it soon as I'm able.