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I'm not strong enough to lift her to do anything with her once she can't help at all, which she is almost there. We have to do everything for her, get her in and out of bed. She can barely walk with her walker. I am trying very hard to keep her in her home, but I just don't know how much more I can do for her. Any suggestions?

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Kasren317...
PT will stop if there is no improvement and or if the patient refuses therapy.
It may be at the point where you need to tell your mom that you can not care for her unless she helps herself. If she does not have the desire, the will, or the cognitive ability to help in her own therapy. Or if this is as much as she can do then you need to explore the alternative options. They would be...
Getting help into the house.
Placing your mom in Assisted Living or Memory Care, SNF, what ever setting suits her physical and mental ability.
In a living situation that better suits her abilities she would be safer and you would be as well. If you hurt yourself while helping her bathe, transfer to the toilet who will care for you? and who will care for her while you are recovering from a back injury, or a knee injury? (I am sitting here with a pretty bad knee injury and it will be 4 to 6 weeks before I am back to "pre injury status" who would care for the both of you for 6 weeks?) When we become caregivers we have to think twice about doing things just due to the fact if we injure ourselves it is 2 people that need care not just 1.
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Since you don't list dementia as one of your mother's problems in your profile and you state Mom is not doing well with PT, I think you first need to determine if your mother is not doing well because she cannot or because she will not. If it's will not, then you need to encourage her to see being able to stand and do basic transfers as key to remaining in her home. Muscles that are not used are lost, so it's important to actively work at maintaining strength as long as possible. If it's cannot, then you need to consider the sit-to-stand and narrow wheelchairs other posters have recommended. I would be very careful about using an office chair because not being able to lock the wheels would allow the chair to roll away during transfers; if you can wedge it in a corner then this is still workable with care. If there's enough room available, you could use a screen around the bedside commode; one relative put the commode in a corner and put a screen in front of it when not in use so no one saw the commode. The commode is very light so if you have a closet or bedroom close, you might move it out of the LR when not in use.
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Physical and occupational therapy helps. Have doctor order it. Home Health is really good.
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What about using something like an armless office chair? She might be able to help push herself into the bathroom if you are doing some pushing too. It would swivel and might help getting her turned around to move to the toilet.
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Can you modify a bathroom for her? If she is a Veteran there are grants that will pay for modifications
Look into a "Sit-to Stand" if she can hold on to the handle it makes it so easy for you to lift her out of a chair and place her on the toilet or do a brief change while she is up. Makes it easy to transfer her from bed to chair and back.
If she can not support herself then a Hoyer Lift is the next step.
I know you are trying to keep her at home but as her mobility decreases she will need more help. Many Assisted Living will not use equipment to transfer someone and it will be a 2 person assist. When it gets problematic for that then she will need SNF there they can use equipment. So if there is a possibility that you will place her if you place her now they may keep her as she declines if you wait and she needs equipment to be moved then the only place would be SNF.
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Do SS have grants for elderly to make modifications to bathroom
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worriedinCali Apr 2019
No. SS does not.
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yes she has had therapy, and it helped very little. they quit because they didn't see any change. You would think thats why they would continue
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If the baths are not wheelchair accessible and it's not practical to make them so, you can abandon the baths for your mother's use. A bedside commode and sponge baths are workable substitutes. You can also purchase a portable shower enclosure to use in a kitchen for a weekly shower. I would encourage you to consider purchasing a lift recliner. The recliner lift can assist your mother in standing and seating back in the recliner. If you place the commode chair next to the recliner, your mother only has to turn 90 degrees to transfer to the commode and another 90 degrees to return back to the recliner. She can use the arms on both the commode chair and the recliner to assist her in standing/seating. You can also use the recliner lift to exercise your mother's thighs to maintain standing ability; just raise the recliner seat to a height your mother can easily(?) stand and have her stand and sit 5-6 times; repeat a couple times a day and lower the lift level as she gains strength. Eventually you may be able to set the commode further from the recliner and increase/maintain your mother's ability to take short walks, she may even be able to walk into the bathroom again.
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karen317 Apr 2019
thank you for the advise, I have thought about a portable potty. but I just don't want that mess in the living room. she already has a recliner that lifts her up, and she has had it for years, thats the problem. She doesn't want to push herself to do anything to get strength. I have even had care givers come in to help her exercise. But they
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A Port a Potty would help her and she could have it right by her bed or where she sits.
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Do you know why she is losing the ability to transfer and walk? Has she been offered any physical therapy?
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