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Hi, my 93-year-old mother with dementia is putting a ton of toilet paper in the toilet when she goes (and she is going a million times a day). Last week, the toilets overflowed, and we had $6000 of water damage. Tonight, they flooded again. Any suggestions?

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Anne360: Your mother requires toileting supervision.
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I had the same problem with my mom and it cost us $1,000s of dollars in plumbing issues as well. I understand everyone's responses here suggesting that your mom be monitored when using the toilet, but if she is in the earlier stages of dementia and is still relatively independent in toileting, trying to stand by her at every episode can be extremely challenging. My mom was still toileting well on her own when I found the perfect solution - Scott Rapid Dissolving Toilet Paper - available on Amazon. This is TP specifically made for boats and RVs that dissolves right away and doesn't clog the pipes, even if excessive amounts are put in the toilet. This completely solved the plumbing issues for us. Today, mom isn't able to toilet independently, but we still use that TP as it's comfortable, affordable and safe on the plumbing. On Amazon you can put it on a subscribe order as well to further reduce the price.

Another thing I did that was very helpful was to put an easy access trashcan next to the toilet and to show mom how she can also throw toilet paper in the trash can instead of the toilet to help save the pipes - explaining to her that our house has older plumbing that can't handle too much TP. She would throw TP in the trash now and then, not at every time she used the toilet, but it did help to cut down on some of the TP in the toilet.

The most important thing I can advise is to NEVER, EVER leave wipes of any kind (whether they claim to be flushable or not) anywhere where your mom can access them to use independently. If you are helping her to toilet and using the wipes, bring them into the bathroom as needed - keeping them stored in a high cupboard otherwise. Those wipes - even if they say flushable - are a plumber's dream and are paying for many a plumber to vacation in Tahiti! They are guaranteed, I promise you, to clog your pipes!

Hope this helps. Lesley
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Place a toilet chair bedside. Line the pot with a small trash bag, place a couple of paper towels in the bag and spray with a bleach type cleaner with a box of wipes alongside. It’s convenient, easy to clean up and eliminates plumbing bills. Works for us.
If you want to keep using the toilet in the bathroom, place a shop bell on the bathroom door to alert you when the door is opened.
Good luck!
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Put out just enough toilet paper out for one use at a time or go in with her.
Start locking up everything with a child danger warning on the label including the paper products.
Definitely help with showering. I find older people will go in the shower stand there and not use soap and come out thinking they are clean. Save yourself a lot of heartache before rashes start and assistant with her personal care. With my mother it was Kleenex she was up to a box a day . The One and only Time my mom clogged up the toilet got her on a porta potty for her bedroom and locked the bathroom door if I was unable to accompany her. She actually preferred it at night.
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This is when someone needs to step in and monitor bathroom activities.
Not just toileting but showers, handwashing, grooming and brushing teeth.
If there are wipes in the bathroom (even the "flushable" ones that really shouldn't be flushed) remove them so that they can be given or used when needed.
Hand her a few pieces of toilet paper. No need to have a whole roll that she can get to.
If you have to remove the roll from her reach.
And someone must accompany her each time she goes to the bathroom.
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Sounds like Mother now needs supervision with toileting.

"Here, let me hold the door for you" - then you hover, supervise from the door crack & interveen.

Hate to say it - but like with very small children.

Yet I would take a wild guess you have other things to fill your day (& night?) than shadow Mother to the bathroom non-stop right?

Maybe observe what she is doing with the toilet paper?
- Padding the pants? Try moving to pullups & try to explain they are already padded.
- Endless wiping? Why? Poor hand control? Fear about being dirty? Low vision, can't check if the last wipe was clean?

There may be NO reason at all.
Just dementia.

People in the mid stage, can be On The Go. Teepa Snow describes this as 'Emerald Stage'.

They can start a task but get STUCK & can't move on. I've seen this many times, especially in Memory Care patients. Shaving, hair combing, teeth brushing & yes, bottom wiping. Endless.. on & on until an Aide moves them on. Either physically hold their hand to finish the task, or interup their visual field to cause a 'stop'.

(I'm not against leaving someone, sitting safely, to comb their own hair for 30 mins if they like.. unless it was going to harm their scalp or arm or something).

If you can't supervise all day, try to limit supply - although this will take much time to do too.

I'm sorry I don't have a better answer for you. Have a google of Teepa Snow if you haven’t & see if any of her tips can help.
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Hide the roll, and just leave a few sheets hanging over the roller, replace as needed. and if your paying for a water bill,, "if it's yellow let it mellow" as they say.
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Once my mother's dementia advanced, she became obsessed with the toilet. Why ask why? OCD goes with the territory when dementia is at play, that's for sure.

Accompany your mother to the bathroom each and every time she goes. It's really the only way to avoid chaos and plumbers. Not to mention there are other hazardous things in the bathroom that may catch her eye when nobody is looking. If she comes out of there with unusually fresh breath, she was probably drinking Listerine 🙄. Put nothing past her.
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I would only allow her to use a bedside commode when she pees and poops. You put about 6-8 inches of water in it along with several squirts of Poo-Pourri and then let her go to town.
You then will be able to control how much you dump in your toilet at a time to flush it down.
It will save you lots of headaches and money as well, and make your life much easier.
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Sometimes overuse of paper is due to fear of soiling underwear or smelling badly. We had this issue with my mom.....who lived in her own house, between my sister's home and my home. I had a conversation with her that was respectful but very clear about not putting Kleenex or anything else in the toilet. Then we hid all the toilet paper except the roll in use and moved the tissues from the back of the toilet to the far corner of the countertop in the bathroom. We checked status of toilet and need for more toilet paper 2-3x/day. Reduced the number of times we had to muck out the toilet or clean up floods. Once she had around the clock caregivers, they transitioned her to incontinence briefs and also kept an eye on her in bathroom.
Good luck! It was not an easy time.
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cwillie Sep 2023
I know of a woman who places a roll of TP in her underwear in order to "save" her incontinence pads - yes they can be expensive but some times the effort to save money is ridiculous.
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Unhook the chain in the back of the toilet so it won't flush.
Limit the amount of paper available, maybe switch to a bidet.
Accompany her to the bathroom - every time.
Keep the door locked and set up a commode for her use.

Do you know why she is compelled to go so often, is she using incontinence products? Is she constipated? And has she been checked for a UTI?
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Oh gosh, my husband used to say that we should own stock in toilet paper and tissues!

So sorry that you are having these issues.

My mom used a lot of tissue too. Our home health nurse suggested flushable wipes. I think mom felt cleaner when she used the wipes.

You do have to be careful with wipes too. I don’t know if they would be helpful or make things worse for you.

Some people use the wipes but don’t flush them. They keep a trash can near the toilet to place them in.

Lots of people swear by bidets. Look on Amazon and YouTube at different brands.

Good luck resolving this issue!
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Geaton777 Sep 2023
Every plumber will tell you to NOT flush "flushable" wipes since, no matter what the manufacturer claims, they do not break down enough and eventually clog your pipes. I use these wipes but instead throw them in the trash (into a plastic bag).
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Lock it up.
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MyNameIsTrouble Sep 2023
Mom or the paper? /s LOL
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