I have a wonderful caregiver once a week for my husband with Alzheimer's. It's my lifeline. My day off.
Since I am new to this, I'm not sure what's appropriate to ask her to do RE: light housekeeping? Vacuum? Dust?
She tidies up while my husband naps. Then she relaxes and usually scrolls through her phone.
OK to leave her a TO DO list? Or should we work out a weekly cleaning schedule as well as caring schedule?
All advice welcome!!!
Is the caregiver through an Agency, or a private caregiver? If private, do you have an employment contract that states what is expected of the caregiver?
Chances are when hubby is napping, the caregiver will not do the vacuuming, or any household chore that would create noise. Plus caregivers are reluctant to invade another woman's territory when it comes to housework, as we all tend to do things differently.
If this caregiver can relate to your hubby and he's a gentle soul when she is there, you wouldn't want to lose her. If she asks if there is something she can do while hubby naps, then jump at the chance to ask her if she wouldn't mind doing this or that. Or if you are home, ask her if she can help you with a chore while you are doing the chore [such as changing the bed linens], she may say she can do that on a regular basis.
Basically, I sat down with my client's family and said "What do you want from me?" They were just so happy to not have to haul mom all over the country!
I'm not someone who can sit and play on my phone for hours on end--just isn't in me.
By no means did this family 'abuse' me, but a young mom with 4 active kids and a busy Dr. for a dad? Anything I could do to lighten mom's load was appreciated.
My client LOVED to shop (I abhor it) but her daughter would make a shopping list and off we'd go.
Really, what are your expectations of your CG? Talk to her. Some CG will do only A,B, C and no more. I did the whole dang alphabet.
We had to work to find our 'groove' on this and there were some hiccups along the way, but we found the balance between me being the maid or mom's personal attendant.
I will be honest when I say that when the family found out how little money I made, they worked out a contract with my company and I was tipped out monthly to bring my pay to $15 an hour. (This was 10+ years ago).
What would help YOU the most. That's what your aide should be doing.
A real win-win for me because I dislike being a taskmaster.
So far, so good.
Thank you everyone!!!
Now, if I may task you with another thing to do.
Have a "sit down" once a month. Sort of like a staff meeting. Review how things are going and if your husband has declined and she is doing more for him discuss what will make her job (and yours) safer and easier.
An agency might do this as well but I don't know if you have this caregiver through an agency or not. (not sure if an agency would do this monthly I know when I was using an agency I think it was 6 months not sure if that was standard or if the supervisor was late in making the visits. In any case a lot can happen in a month or so.
But after nearly a year my mother managed to run her off. How?
Jackie worked full time. When my dad was napping she liked to stay busy. Jackie would do all the laundry, cook meals - enough for both my
parents - for freezing, for over her days off - bake up treats, even would clean up after my mothers demon cat.
It didn't take my mother long to take advantage of Jackie. As well, my mom began to refer to her as “the girl” when talking to her friends on the phone. I heard it and since Jackie was in the same room - she heard it too. To Jackie’s credit she never complained about my mother treating her like The Maid.
I would urge Jackie to cut back on the extra work my mother was expecting from her but she would just say “By helping your mom, I’m helping your dad”. A real gem, right?
It was more complicated - what eventually broke the camels back but I know being treated like a cleaning woman - when Jackie was a licensed CNA - no offense to cleaning women - was a huge contributing factor.
Now, I realize you’re asking about a few light chores - and from your post I can tell you appreciate and value your husband’s caregiver - which tells me you’ll not take things to the level that my mother did...
But still, I’d tread lightly- if I were you. You’ve got a caregiver you like and who is good with your husband. In my experience, as basic as those two things are - it’s amazing how difficult it can be to find that. Throw in reliable and you truly have a rarity. In my experience.
If your caregiver is from an agency, read the contract over to see if it outlines anything regarding housekeeping. If she’s not from an agency and nothing was discussed in her hiring regarding this extra duty - I’d leave it alone. If she was the type like Jackie, she would be starting some housekeeping tasks on her own.
Give it some time. She may yet self start some light housekeeping as she become more efficient and by route with your husband.
Light housekeeping would be to dust, vacuum, do dishes, clean up, sweep floors, maybe mop, clean bathroom do laundry. And this depends on what you established when u hired her or her agency requires of their aides. I do think, that whatever mess they make while giving a meal, should be cleaned up by them.
However remember that she is there to be with him not to just clean - talk to her because that is the best way to keep a good carer & that is your prime concern - if she is with an agency they will have a guideline if she is not then check one out & use their guideline as your own
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