I'm the 63 year old son of my 98 year old Mom that I have taken care of for over 4 and a half years 24/7. As of the last month, she is now in a long term care facility. Whenever I go to see her, she just wants to know when she's leaving (Blind, Deaf, Dementia and High Anxiety ). The staff say she does better when I'm not there. It's not that she's passed away, but like "once removed " and I don't know what do I do now. Get on with my life? Turn my back for her, and me to accepting she is there now? I hope someone understands...
and did you know that many here who are advocate for placement in a facility NEVER placed their own parents? Do you realize that they sacrificed their Heath, their personal relationships, and financial well-beings so their parents or spouse could be cared for at home? And that they are speaking from experience and encouraging others not to make the same mistakes they made? Did that ever occur to you? There aren’t a lot of people here who will tell you that they cared for a relative full time and had no life and gave up everything and that they would gladly do it again in a heartbeat.
so please. stop judging the people you disagree with. You don’t know what they’ve been through.
Just because you're right doesn't make me wrong, and vice versa.
And lastly, those caring for severe dementia cases at home are facing danger with the elders potentially getting out at night and wandering. A man I used to take care of did just that and wound up falling in the street and lying there for hours before being found. He passed away the next day from a head injury. I know how badly the family felt for refusing to place him in Memory Care.
"Go to walmart or any such store & get a laundry marker. Mark all there cloths with there last name & room number. Use a light color so the ink shows up. This is at first a lot of work but helpful & worth it. Don't by real expensive clothing it may come up missing. My mom's pants would till I caught on. It's ok to let house keeping do the laundry. Get to know the head nurse & all the shift nurses. I was there so much they all thought I worked there. Also get to know the social worker. Never be afraid to say anything. You have to be your parents help. I have gotten one person fired & 2 removed from the floor. Always talk to & listen to your parents. Check there bodies out for unusual marks, brusies, sores & such. There depending on you to protect them & care for them. They can't. There was an aid who was verbally abusing my mom & one who was lazy & neglecting her & one who just showed up to do things when she figured someone was watching. Always ask questions about everything. If your like me you'll figure out what aids & nurses are there because they want to be & love there jobs & those who just need a pay check. After 13 years in the nursing home situation I know quite a lot. Be on a constant alert."
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.