My mom is 102 years old. She is in pain, altered mentally, and and I do not understand why she is still surviving. This has been going on for over a year and tearing my sisters apart. What do we do? It is so hard to see her this way and suffering. I have put down my sweet pets for less. What is going on?
Mom was not in pain (in fact in very good health except for increasing memory loss and deafness) but she was miserably unhappy for 20 years, did not enjoy life, complained about everything. She barely ate the excellent food served in IL. She was wasted (91 pounds) we puzzled over why she fought so hard and kept on chugging refusing to accept she was aging despite her belief that her life was so awful. For the last two years we prayed she would pass peacefully in her sleep so she would not bear the agony of losing and fighting hopelessly for her "youth". We knew she would be miserable when she had to move to Assisted Living - and she was. She ended up in a NH because she was so malnourished and weak, but still fought to walk, fell and fractured her pelvis. We watched her slowly deteriorate and even toward the end her will kept her going for a long time.
I don't understand it either, but tell your sisters when she starts to decline, it will be quick. I hope for all your sakes she passes peacefully.
Only your mother can decide when it is time for her to leave. The only thing you and your sister can do is try to keep her as comfortable and pain-free as possible while she is here. That way your mother will not have to battle the pain. Are you getting any help from hospice? A good hospice organization can help a lot during the final months of life. ((((Hugs))))