Mom stopped brushing her teeth on her own a year ago. Her gums look horrific. When I manage to brush what little she allows, there is a lot of blood. After a few seconds of brushing, she freaks out and refuses to open her mouth. She will not let me brush her teeth properly and they will continue to rot. What will happen to her? infection = sepsis? dentures? A dentist would have to put her under to clean her teeth, do they do that?
Thanks for sharing your experience
Dad does not have dementia, yet his teeth are rotting out of his head. He brushes his teeth to some degree. He refuses to go to the dentist, last time was about 5 years ago, he had multiple minor abscesses and had the remains of several teeth removed. The procedure was painful, of course, so now he just lets them rot.
He was warned by his dentist that bacteria is getting into his system due to the poor condition of his gums and teeth. It may have contributed to an infection after the removal of a skin cancer.
But at 93 there is no point in arguing with him.
My mother had a few teeth that needed to be extracted while she lived in Memory Care AL. I had the visiting/traveling dentists come in to treat her in her recliner in her room. Surgery had to be performed to remove 2 molars, which was done under Novocaine, and she was stitched up right there. Her PCP ordered a Xanax to be given to her beforehand to keep her calm throughout the ordeal. If I could have had her sedated, I would have, but that wasn't an option. I also chose not to take her out of the MC to the dentist's office b/c she was wheelchair bound and 190 lbs, so I felt it was easier to deal with the matter in her room at the MC.
There's no easy way to handle dental issues when dementia is present. And I wouldn't fight your mother about brushing her teeth; it's too late anyway; the majority of the damage has already been done. Just treat her pain as it crops up, that's my suggestion.
Best of luck with a difficult situation.
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You Mom probably has gum desease if her gums are bleeding that much and they are hurting. I have been thru the process but it was 40 yrs ago. With regular cleanings I have kept it at bay. You can brush all you want but flossing and regular cleanings help to prevent gum desease. I know, not an easy task. I had to actually have my gums cut open to graphed the bone, scraping off the damage bacteria made. Your Mom will not be able to go thru this process but I would ask the dentist if putting her under would be OK. Just long enough to give her a good cleaning. As said, the poison given off by the bacteria causing the problem can make her sick. If her breath smells like rotten eggs/sulfur, she has gum desease.
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The technical... Make sure it's a soft and small child's brush. Maybe in the comfort of her chair. Have on the ready a couple cups for rinsing and for the waste. Or even a little tub for waste. And something to dry her mouth or catch stuff as she goes (make that 2 dry cloths). That is much easier. Even just a large yogurt container. If that is just not doable, some child's mouthwash to swish around in lieu of brushing. Don't in any way criticize the brushing. Just be glad it is taking place. Try once a week, then work up 2x, etc. You can add in assists later, such as "Oh did you get the back?" Have a great tasting kids SWEET mouthwash for after. Say something like here's the good part! You will probably have to tell her not to drink it but swish and spit. If its a kids, it will be ok if she does accidently drink it. Reinforce with Don't you love that fresh clean feeling?? Or "I always love that fresh clean feeling". Be genuine with that. Dementia is all about sensing. If she refuses all, try again the next day. Sometime she may. Or you might even say want me to do it for you? :) Just a quick brushing, so you don't get infection. If she agrees, then truly make it a quick brushing! Don't try to get it all. You can get some one dsumy, some another. The key is to make it a positive moment and build routine.
Another idea to start is (in her chair). "Let me see that smile again". When she smiles, say domething like " Yup yup looks like you got something in your teeth there. Let me grab you a tooth brush. And then go through the above.
And then after, Ok let me so pearly whites!! Beautiful. I love that smile of yours. Hollywood smile, Hollywood smile. Whatever makes sense to you. Humor, loving, all that good stuff. Best of luck and God bless!!
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