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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Don't let family take advantage of your kindness. Do what you can, and don't get pushed into doing what you can't. Be kind and true to yourself, first.
Some of the best things I've learned are from the other caregiving "vets" from this very forum...
(forgive me, I can't remember who to credit the sayings to but you know who you are)
"You have to put on your own oxygen mask first."
"You can show elders the solution, you don't have to *be* their solution."
"Guilt is for felons and people who have done wrong (illegal, immoral, unethical things)."
"No, I can't possibly do that."
"No is a complete sentance."
"No."
And my own:
No one should be "assumed" into the caregiving role.
An expectation is a premeditated disappointment.
Sometimes people have to accept the "least bad" option as their solution.
I wish I had found this forum back in 2016 when both my in-laws were physically, cognitively and financially imploding - while my hubs and I were working full-time running our business and raising 3 young sons.
I've learned to live in the moment. With less time for myself, it is critical for my mental health to drain every last bit of satisfaction possible from my "me time." A key element of that is to live in the moment, during me time, rather than dwelling on the past or planning the future.
What I have learned is to have all the paperwork done and keep up the paperwork. You don't know when someone will confront you. I was a rep payee for my BIL taking care of his financial needs. My paperwork saved me from going to jail because of his family reporting me to social security saying I went on a lavish vacation with his money. My husband and I took care of him for 15yrs before the other family wanted in and stole from him. He is now in a nursing home and I am not his rep payee anymore. I have learned my lesson family can be cruel.
Hydration is important, both for the senior and for ME.
Don't be too picky. I learned this from a conversation that I had with Mom's 90 something year old estate lawyer.
Those who work in private duty care work really hard. I think all of Mom's home CNA's worked two jobs and some worked three jobs. Three were concurrently going to college.
Life is ruthless and none of us will come out of it alive. Aging is fairly awful and we all will likely meet with uncomfortable ends by either outliving friends/loved ones, contracting a terrible disease, or wasting from dementia. Those of us who have no spokespersons for us will likely be warehoused in a nursing some with overworked, underpaid employees providing care.
What have you learned? That's a question that I ponder frequently. I believe there's a lesson or two that I'm supposed to learn in this season of my life. The biggest thing for me is that this has vastly improved my relationship with God. Also, I think this is teaching me lesson's in empathy, patience and serving others.
Care giving means being less selfish making sacrifices learning what’s important in life Care giving is giving back in life whether that be to a family member or to society its about getting stronger and dare I say it becoming a better person in life we come into this life to make our mark but making a valued mark in life is also about contributing to life and the world around us Care giving is hard but makes people better people … sometimes tho the lesson in life is to learn to care and respect yourself as well - that you also matter in this world and to learn boundaries and to look after yourself as well. everyone has a different lesson to learn- only each of us know which side of the scale the lesson applies to. either way- the lesson is a harsh one.
Each day is a brand new day, however for my dad who has dementia and is in a wheelchair and hospital bed is in Hospice Care but still here at home. I have come to live with him and have 2 sitters who help.. In all of it I have learned to be grateful for the little things and see that growing old is NOT for Sissies!!
That I hope my kids don’t have to be in my shoes for whenever the time comes that I can’t live on my own and need extra help. The situation with being caregiver for my mom, I did not choose and it has been hard on them often.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Be kind and true to yourself, first.
I learned my lesson the hard way after caring for my mom.
We are facing that now , trying to set boundaries with MIL against her lack of planning , and her not leaving DH the tools needed .
(forgive me, I can't remember who to credit the sayings to but you know who you are)
"You have to put on your own oxygen mask first."
"You can show elders the solution, you don't have to *be* their solution."
"Guilt is for felons and people who have done wrong (illegal, immoral, unethical things)."
"No, I can't possibly do that."
"No is a complete sentance."
"No."
And my own:
No one should be "assumed" into the caregiving role.
An expectation is a premeditated disappointment.
Sometimes people have to accept the "least bad" option as their solution.
I wish I had found this forum back in 2016 when both my in-laws were physically, cognitively and financially imploding - while my hubs and I were working full-time running our business and raising 3 young sons.
I'm so grateful for all the shared wisdom here!
Don't be too picky. I learned this from a conversation that I had with Mom's 90 something year old estate lawyer.
Those who work in private duty care work really hard. I think all of Mom's home CNA's worked two jobs and some worked three jobs. Three were concurrently going to college.
Everyone enjoys a good hot breakfast.
Aging is fairly awful and we all will likely meet with uncomfortable ends by either outliving friends/loved ones, contracting a terrible disease, or wasting from dementia.
Those of us who have no spokespersons for us will likely be warehoused in a nursing some with overworked, underpaid employees providing care.
That's a question that I ponder frequently.
I believe there's a lesson or two that I'm supposed to learn in this season of my life.
The biggest thing for me is that this has vastly improved my relationship with God.
Also, I think this is teaching me lesson's in empathy, patience and serving others.
making sacrifices
learning what’s important in life
Care giving is giving back in life whether that be to a family member or to society
its about getting stronger
and dare I say it becoming a better person in life
we come into this life to make our mark but making a valued mark in life is also about contributing to life and the world around us
Care giving is hard but makes people better people
…
sometimes tho the lesson in life is to learn to care and respect yourself as well - that you also matter in this world and to learn boundaries and to look after yourself as well.
everyone has a different lesson to learn- only each of us know which side of the scale the lesson applies to.
either way- the lesson is a harsh one.