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OK, here's what I would do for starters:

For the financial part, I actually set up automatic online bill pay from my end. When I set up the bills, I set up each one individually in my online banking page and include account numbers along with the contact info and amounts I pay for that bill. You set the date and frequency for the bills and then save it. Make sure you have money in your account each month for each bill. And whatever money is left over can be automatically transferred into another account just by setting that up. Should you become incapacitated your bills will automatically get paid as long as you get direct posit from your federal benefits. Best yet, don't have no other name on your account but yours, but have only your name on the account so no one else has access to it.

What I would do in the event you should become incapacitated is start getting opinions from different lawyers who specialize in wills and estates. Explain the situation and your wishes. Should you need a guardian, the court may end up appointing one themselves. This happened to my foster dad when he had no bio family left. The prosecutor's daughter for our town ended up becoming his guardian around the time he was to be put into a nursing home. We never saw it coming until it happened.

What you can do event of an emergency is select someone you trust as an emergency contact. You can do this when you register at your local hospital and even with your own doctors when you fill out the paperwork for your records. I don't have any family either, and I'm even making my own will and I'm even doing a funeral preneed. You make your preneed through your funeral home and instead of paying the funeral home directly, you pay the insurance company. Your turn your policy over to the funeral home's ownership if you're on Medicaid. This protects you against Medicaid thinking you have a cashable source. If the funeral home changes ownership, you call the insurance company to home your pay your preneed policy payments and alert them of the new name change.

If you have any vehicles, you may want to make some decisions as to what you want to do about them. This is where you'll really need to speak with your estate attorney
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I, too, look forward to hearing other ideas. In the meantime, I will tell you what I have done. My sister used to be my financial and medical POA. But, after my current experienced in being my mom's POA, I have come to the understanding that being a POA is a younger person's game, so to speak. At this time, I am in my mid 60s. I am guessing that, should I need the services of a POA, my sister might be a good deal older than she is now. What I did was to find two younger friends and had my attorney assign them as financial and medical POAs. I was very careful in my selection process. These are two women I know very well and have known for decades. Both are wives and mothers; one is like a daughter to me. One is in her early 50s, while the "daughter" just turned 40. Both are very responsible people. I would like to add that I purchased two filing cabinets (one fire proof) and have carefully organized all of the paperwork they would need, should I not be able to take care of myself and should I have to go into a nursing home. I also created a typed 32-page document that would guide them through all of the information, and that document is kept in a "read me first" folder. I also have a spreadsheet listing all of my IDs and passwords. I keep all documents updated at all times. I have informed the two women as to my setup. In short, I have tried to make everything as easy as possible for my POAs, should they need to perform their duties. Lastly, I will mention that one is in my state and one is not. What is important is not where the POAs are located but, rather, if they are people who I can count on. I hope this helps some, and I look forward to other comments. Clearly, you need to get your brother out of the picture. I would move quickly but thoughtfully on that.
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Just went through this and, should my husband not be living, very probable, my lawyer will be in charge.

Sadly, could NEVER trust my daughter for the same reasons you have mentioned. But one must face facts as they are and make a good decision.

I am at peace with this.
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I'm not qualified to give financial advice, I would seek the advice of an elder law attorney. For myself, I would have an EL attorney be my DPOA & a friend, someone you absolutely trust (because, as we all know, it can be an emotional ride) to be you POA. Good luck!!
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I also would be very interested for some advice regarding these questions because it's just me and my husband and we don't have anyone else we trust with our finances and to make decisions for us if we become incapacitated. Thanks.
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I am also in the same situation and and looking forward to answers.
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I took care of my dad too, until he passed. I am in a similar situation now. I would appreciate hearing any suggestions as to how to deal with my own affairs.
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