My mother who is 86 years old has chronic urinary incontinence chronic UTIs with incontinence ulcers. She has really gone downhill since May of 2017 until the current time re: the ability to perform her ADLs. All she does is sit in her recliner and sleep in it she can walk to bathroom with our assistance and take off her diaper. All other toileting, hygiene is left to me. She can also eat herself but that is all. All the rest is left to me, her daughter, 51 y/o on disability for 2 broken legs. I've been walking on a broken ankle and foot since 2016. My husband, a mechanical engineer had to quit working in 2013 to take care of me has now become severely depressed but helps take care of my mother as well.
As I write this she is in rehab for her second time in two months. Last year she went to the hospital for UTI with fall and then to rehab seven times.
I am preparing to go back to work as soon as I can walk normally again which means rehab and possible amputation. My right ankle and foot is still broken with pieces of collapsed hardware such as screws and metal rods that cracked in them
Of course it is extremely painful yet she still expects us to do all for her and keep up with all our issues. We can't anymore but she doesn't acknowledge that part of our lives.
She needs placement if we can get her to go or at least private pay caregivers.
What are thoughts on NH vs group home? Also any suggestions re: our situation. My aunt said I enable her, which I agree, but it's hard to watch your parents become so helpless (although, we are likely more helpless than she could be if she wanted.) What do I do tell her no, I won't help when she cannot clearly do certain things? Also, my parents were the only ones to offer my husband and I a place to stay when we had no where else to go and could not do a thing about it.
I could not even get treatment until 2016 and I broke both legs in 2013.
I think that you work for a facility that doesn't take Medicaid and that is why you are telling this poster that she will lose her home if the house is moms.
Something to consider when recommending facility placement.
They will be more cost effective and be able to provide all of her care needs. You aren't paying for activities that she won't participate in.
Contact the area on aging and ask for help finding local board and care homes.
Good luck and stick to your guns!