My husband is in a gray area and we don't have unlimited funds. We currently have Home Health Care but that is limited. He is totally JPEG tube fed, food, water and meds. He cannot swallow. He is becoming less and less able to do much every day. I need some help...we are both 78. I have been taking care of him for almost 2 years. He had tongue and throat cancer, which is now gone, last year and underwent both chemo and radiation.
Palliative care is provided by a specially-trained team of doctors, nurses and other specialists who work together with a patient’s other doctors to provide an extra layer of support. It is appropriate at any age and at any stage in a serious illness, and it can be provided along with curative treatment.
The main thing to remember is that treatment decisions are always finally yours and the question is will this actually be beneficial if the treatment needed will badly affect the patient's quality of life or the patient can not tolerate more treatment even if it is available. for example if your husbands PSI becomes high are you going to put him through a biopsy procedure to confirm cancer when prostate surgery will shorten his life further. Now an appendicitis is another matter, certainly have the CT scan, not invasive and only takes a few minutes and agree to the surgery because otherwise he will die a horrible painful death. Always, always carefully weigh the risks versus benefits with any medical decision for an elderly loved one.
In your case palliative care will be a positive experience for both you and your husband and if you don't like it you can always discharge him.