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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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I wouldn't use any medication (unless it was my last resort), instead I would use the techniques shown in Teepa Snow's videos on how to calm a person who has Alzheimer's/dementia:
Use special techniques to calm difficult situations
When someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia is distressed or upset, the first thing to do is help them calm down. Reducing their agitation will allow you to figure out what’s wrong or help solve the problem.
In these situations, whatever threat or concern they’re experiencing is very real to them, so asking them to calm down or explaining why they don’t need to be worried won’t work.
What’s usually more effective is using a few simple techniques that rely on the body’s natural responses to bring calm. We found an excellent free video where expert dementia educator Teepa Snow demonstrates these helpful techniques.
Here, we highlight Teepa’s 4 key actions to take when working to calm down someone with dementia. After you’ve used these techniques to de-escalate the situation, you can move on to problem-solving.
4 key actions to calm down someone with dementia
1. At first, mimic their distress and repeat what they’re saying (43 sec in video) Seeming to be as distressed as they are shows that you understand and accept their feelings. You’re on their side.
You could also use this technique to pick up clues to how they’re feeling or what’s bothering them. That will help you when you’re ready to move on to problem-solving. Teepa briefly does this at 56 seconds in the video.
2. Use the Hand Under Hand method (45 sec in video)
When someone is upset, they may already be holding their hands out to you. If that’s the case, it’s the perfect opportunity to take their hand in a natural manner like Teepa does at 45 seconds in the video.
If they don’t offer their hand, try offering yours. When someone is in distress, they’re more likely to welcome this comforting gesture from someone who is on their side.
Avoid pulling or grabbing their hand if they don’t offer or willingly accept, that may feel like an attack to someone who is already distressed.
When holding their hand, try to stand on their dominant side (their writing side). This will make them more comfortable and help them relax – see the example at 4 min 43 sec in video.
Note: Teepa demonstrates her Hand Under Hand method in detail at 1 min 42 sec in the video.
3. Take exaggerated deep breaths, putting the emphasis on breathing out (1 min 17 sec in video)
Transition from copying their distress to taking slow deep breaths. Put a big emphasis on blowing the breath out.
That helps to relax their ribcage so they’ll be able to take in more oxygen.
4. Pump into their palm in a heartbeat-like rhythm – squeezing and releasing with your hand (1 min 42 sec in video)
Continue the deep breathing while you start to gently pump (apply pressure into) their palm.
For extra comfort, keep your forearm along their forearm while you pump their palm. (2 min 38 seconds in video).
Be sure to watch their reaction to make sure the palm pump is providing comfort and isn’t causing pain or discomfort. If your older adult is frail or has arthritis in their hands, be gentle and avoid any known tender spots.
Next Step See a dementia expert demonstrate how to calm down someone with dementia (4 minutes)
When my husband was diagnosed with dementia and early onset alzheimers, he was placed on Citalopram. As time has passed, his moods required more meds. He now takes the Citalopram, mirtazopine, aripiprazole and the when anger issues arrived a year ago and he tried to kill me in a rage, they upped the dosage on the mirtazopine and added memantine. After about 7-10 days, he became the calm, go with the flow man I had married. He is bad about missing doses though and I have to check daily. If he misses a couple doses I can tell it.
My main problem is his siblings tell him nothing his wrong with him and he should throw all of the meds away. They only see him every couple of months. If they lived with him, they would know what it is really like. Good luck with finding a calming med. It may take more than one but, it is worth it.
It depends on the person. My mom when we tried ativan had the completely opposite effect as was intended. But, Seroquel worked wonders for her. Others have bad experience with Seroquel. It is a matter of trial and error to find what will work. And lots of patience.
My mothers neurologist put my mother on Ativan 0.5 mg for agitation once daily if needed. I use it mostly when she has a UTI which settles her down at night. I would call her doctor and discuss it, meds affect people differently.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Video below:
https://dailycaring.com/how-do-you-calm-down-someone-with-dementia-4-expert-tips-video/
Use special techniques to calm difficult situations
When someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia is distressed or upset, the first thing to do is help them calm down. Reducing their agitation will allow you to figure out what’s wrong or help solve the problem.
In these situations, whatever threat or concern they’re experiencing is very real to them, so asking them to calm down or explaining why they don’t need to be worried won’t work.
What’s usually more effective is using a few simple techniques that rely on the body’s natural responses to bring calm. We found an excellent free video where expert dementia educator Teepa Snow demonstrates these helpful techniques.
Here, we highlight Teepa’s 4 key actions to take when working to calm down someone with dementia. After you’ve used these techniques to de-escalate the situation, you can move on to problem-solving.
4 key actions to calm down someone with dementia
1. At first, mimic their distress and repeat what they’re saying (43 sec in video)
Seeming to be as distressed as they are shows that you understand and accept their feelings. You’re on their side.
You could also use this technique to pick up clues to how they’re feeling or what’s bothering them. That will help you when you’re ready to move on to problem-solving. Teepa briefly does this at 56 seconds in the video.
2. Use the Hand Under Hand method (45 sec in video)
When someone is upset, they may already be holding their hands out to you. If that’s the case, it’s the perfect opportunity to take their hand in a natural manner like Teepa does at 45 seconds in the video.
If they don’t offer their hand, try offering yours. When someone is in distress, they’re more likely to welcome this comforting gesture from someone who is on their side.
Avoid pulling or grabbing their hand if they don’t offer or willingly accept, that may feel like an attack to someone who is already distressed.
When holding their hand, try to stand on their dominant side (their writing side). This will make them more comfortable and help them relax – see the example at 4 min 43 sec in video.
Note: Teepa demonstrates her Hand Under Hand method in detail at 1 min 42 sec in the video.
3. Take exaggerated deep breaths, putting the emphasis on breathing out (1 min 17 sec in video)
Transition from copying their distress to taking slow deep breaths. Put a big emphasis on blowing the breath out.
That helps to relax their ribcage so they’ll be able to take in more oxygen.
4. Pump into their palm in a heartbeat-like rhythm – squeezing and releasing with your hand (1 min 42 sec in video)
Continue the deep breathing while you start to gently pump (apply pressure into) their palm.
For extra comfort, keep your forearm along their forearm while you pump their palm. (2 min 38 seconds in video).
Be sure to watch their reaction to make sure the palm pump is providing comfort and isn’t causing pain or discomfort. If your older adult is frail or has arthritis in their hands, be gentle and avoid any known tender spots.
Next Step See a dementia expert demonstrate how to calm down someone with dementia (4 minutes)
Jenna
My main problem is his siblings tell him nothing his wrong with him and he should throw all of the meds away. They only see him every couple of months. If they lived with him, they would know what it is really like.
Good luck with finding a calming med. It may take more than one but, it is worth it.