Husband has Alzheimers. For 6 years I have been taking care of him, by myself. No family or relatives near by to help. I am mid 60s, he is mid 70s. I tried, wanted to keep him here until he died, but his heart and lungs are too strong, and his body got weak, not being able to get up and walk. I could not do it anymore. Mentally and physically I was 'losing it'. I put him into an assisted living dementia lock down home, a few weeks ago.
I am trying to cope. Miss having him here, even tho he couldn't do anything but sit or lay down, and eat and drink. I did everything else. Not crying quite as much as I did. But I am wondering what I should do next, where I should go for help. He is a retired Veteran. Our Social Securitys and his retirement are going towards his rent at the home. I am living off our savings. Should I go to VA? Should I get an attorney, or Elder Law specialist, or? Maybe I am still not thinking straight. Trying to get my head on straight, and my so called Friends are throwing sarcasm my way, trying to make me feel bad about my decision.
I think I was able to lift him (he fell out of bed a couple time, in the bathroom once) because of the job I had until a year ago. It involved lifting, moving heavy boxes. Some were up to 70 pounds. But as I said, it got harder to do...we all age.
Again, thank you so much for your comments, support, suggestions. Yesterday I treated myself to a pedicure, first time EVAH! And spent 4 hours with a GOOD true friend. Was nice to take my mind elsewhere, other than The Home. Again, thank you all.
Definately contact the VA. Check out veteranaid.org. Their goal is to make sure veterans get the benefits they are qualified for. "The A&A Pension can provide up to $1,758 per month to a veteran, $1,130 per month to a surviving spouse, or $2,085 per month to a couple*." This is a reimbursement program. For instance, my mom has over $4,000 a month in medical expenses, including premiums, medicine and dementia care. So, she qualifies for the maximum spouse reimbursement of $1,130 a month.