Dear fellow caregivers, my mother is under care of hospice and could pass any day now. I have tried planning steps to take but I am totally unprepared. I am widowed living on SS that is under 2000.00 a month. I will not be able to pay the rent after she has passed. I have 0 assets and barely enough to bury her. Moreover I have 5 rooms of furniture but cannot afford housing in my area. I have researched several senior living facilities and many of you already know there's a long waiting list and most independent senior units have already been rented out. My only options are living with my son (sleeping on his couch) or living with another relative who already has several people living in his home. I am lost trying to think of ways to solve my circumstances. I have enough to deal with daily just caring for my mother and making her comfortable. Any common sense advice is welcome. God bless you all caring for loved ones.
THEN....don't worry about any of the rest. Deal with only what you can at the time & focus on your mom. Count out you & your mommas money. How much for funeral? How much for groceries for the week? How much for bills? How much for rent? Then, start putting them in order: 1st - moms funeral, 2nd - shelter 3rd - bills (and in what order you feel necessary to pay back in order).....
OR....maybe your son could set up a GOFUNDME page for you? What about a personal loan (not a super huge one - but one to help you through these tough times with your mom & grieving)
Its more difficult to become organized when stressed. Wish I could offer you a huge hug and assistance right now.
Sending prayers your way.
I’m sorry you are going through such difficult times. As many have said contact the local senior community center and see if they can help you. Or call 211 if you are in the US. Since you may have a little bit of time maybe you can get some things arranged.
If you are able to dispose of some of the furniture you have now that would probably be a good thing. Storage is expensive and usually not worth it. Keep a few items that you know you will need or put them in temporary storage and donate or sell the rest. Things weigh you down and ultimately we just get rid of them anyway.
If worst comes to worst you can go to a women’s shelter, and then you will be in the social services network and they will help you find housing, food etc. It is a difficult time but it won’t last forever.
Godspeed, my friend.
Episcopal Place, for instance, charges a flat rate of 1/3 of your income, no matter what it is. These are small, one BR apartments with a living room, kitchen, and bath but no nursing facilities.
Definitely look into cremation because it is much, much less expensive than burial. Does your mother have any life insurance that could pay some of the expenses? Your mother's Social Security benefits will pay a couple of hundred dollars, which is not enough but it helps.
Those five rooms of furniture are actually an asset. Start going through things to see what you can sell fast to get funds. Try sites such as Facebook Marketplace for a quick sale. Put whatever is left into a storage room and stay with a friend or relative until you figure out the best course of action.
Good luck to you. I know it seems overwhelming right now, but it won't last forever. You can do this. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
The facility will call the coroner to verify death. The facility or the coroner will respond to instructions when she is diseased.
If she was on hospice the psychologist can help you with your concerns.
You need "decisions help".
Rather than paying to bury her, you can opt for direct cremation.
The minimum cost is $550. Make sure you verify the price in writing as different facilities in various states charge different prices.
This EXCLUDES embalming, a viewing, a ceremony and a coffin. If you include those things the cost of cremation can be much higher.
The facility will take care of all the essential paperwork such as permits and death certificates.
Even though my husband and I have money for funerals/cremation, he plans to donate his body to the medical school where he has taught for 40 years. Our son will be responsible for burying ashes in a family plot.
Sell a lot of the furniture you have--most single individuals don't need 5 rooms of furniture. My 90-year-old uncle sold his 4 BR home and moved into a 1 BR apt. Hardly took anything with him except a bed, chair, tv, lamps. Purchased a bar stool to sit at the kitchen bar to eat.
Otherwise, for now I would just focus on your mom. You know you can stay at your son's, at least temporarily while you work to get back on your feet and figure things out. Selling what you can now or later will give you some cash and eliminate the hassle of moving/storing furniture.
Best wishes to you.
You don't mention how old you are, but Medicaid could be a viable answer to your predicament.
Good luck and be safe.