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I promised both my husband and Mom I would care them as long as I was able to. I cared for Wayne 5 years with Parkinson’s and dementia. One day his legs pulled up and he never walked again. I knew I wouldn’t be able to care for him then. He spent his last five weeks in a nursing home. In his mind he was doing well with physical therapy and walking around. He physically couldn’t. 

I also took care of Mom at the same time as Wayne. She also has Parkinson’s and related dementia. We’re heading towards year 8. We do the best we can and the same promise stands for her. I find it interesting how their progression has been very different.
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There's no "playbook" for this issue. First, be prepared by doing your research NOW before you have a crisis situation. Visit facilities in your area (by yourself) - when you've zeroed in on two or three possibilities, revisit and spend real time observing in the "memory care" - look at everything from your mom's point of view. Would mom feel good here 24/7? share a meal, watch for interactions between residents and residents and staff. Does the staff engage the residents in chit-chat and small talk without using "baby talk"? What kinds of fun activities are offered and are the residents involved in decision making?
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To everyone for whom this may still be an option: Never promise that your loved one will never go to a nursing home. None of us can guarantee that.
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