I am newly married and finally getting my life on track at a late stage- I want to be there for my parents but not to the level my siblings do. I have recently made this clear and now my parents won't talk to me and my siblings are furious. This is sooo hard. Has anyone else had issues with sibling in this arena?
I have sibling issues in a slightly different way. I am primary full-time caregiver for 5 years, plus many more periods over the last 20 years. Only one of my sisters has helped in all those years and mostly only weekends, but not really as a caregiver.
My situation is, from a large family none of the other siblings have change their lives to share the responsibility. I am the primary caregiver but also do no have any communication with other siblings any more, due to various issues with them along the last 20 years, but also because they have not shared caregiving responsibilities.
My view on your situation is your siblings do not have right to be furious, they are being completely unreasonable. If there are many siblings it's right to share responsibility of caring for our parents. They raised each one of us, provided for us, etc... so why shouldn't it be shared. When the responsibility is mainly put on one person, that person has what's called "burnout" and sounds like you are there. It's time for you to take a break and discuss it with your siblings from that angle, that you need a break from it, to let them focus more on the caregiving, and you will return to helping in the future. If they are reasonable siblings and you are generally on good communication terms with them, they should accept this.
Tell them you're not totally walking away, but need a long break for now.
Hoping you can get a long earned break from your caregiving. Let your other siblings take on the responsibility more for now.
How many siblings do you have? Did your parents groom you to become their caregiver?
Did you have to give up a job to become their caregiver, thereby sacrificing your own financial future?
People are different, not just 'more right' nor 'wrong'. This book spoke to me, where my sibs could (or would) not.
Best wishes on this difficult journey. Hugs.
Something that popped up in my mind about ‘family’ is, how many people who own a family business expect family members to give them everything for free?
This happened a lot in my family. Two of my brothers and a few of my cousins owned their own business and family members were constantly asking for ‘free’ service.
Boundaries must be set!