My mom never wanted to take her medications. Some of this was due to her paranoia however some days she would be fully focused and would express her humiliation and embarrassments of this disease. Now four years later she resides in memory care and more often than not she is in her own world. Other than the dementia her health is pretty good for an 84 year old. Recently upon reviewing moms care plan with the staff it was mentioned that occasionally mom would strongly flat out refuse her medications. So in light of her medical directive which refuses any life sustaining efforts did I want them to continue the dementia medications Galantamine and Namenda. I am so torn by this decision part of me feels it is wrong to not give her the meds on the other hand I remember how she felt so humiliated during her earlier stages. I know if she were able to see how her life is lived now or herself she would not like it. At this point are the meds only prolonging her misery? Is she really getting any benefit from taking the medication?
Your husband has dementia...what will effect him more or cause his death first...dementia or a cancer that he may or may not have already. (cancer cells can be undetectable when very small making accurate diagnosis impossible)
I think his safety and for his peace of mind and yours an anti-anxiety medication would possibly help.
As to the wandering there are many way to track someone. There are chips that can be placed in the clothing or even a cell phone can be used to track someone. My husband had a wristband tracker system called CareTrack through our local County Mental Health Department.
Please let the police know that your husband has dementia and that he wanders. This way they will be quick to respond if you report him missing.
You can provide a current photo, detailed description this way they have the info if needed. Also let the fire department know so they can possibly tailor a response knowing that your husband might not respond if they call out in an emergency