Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
i was on the phone and i told her i would help her as soon as i hung up and she still yelled at me and told me to get out I was so hurt I have been caring for her 15 years now and shes not my mom even before I was married to her son
You do not describe any medical illnesses, so I can't address this question thoroughly. However, if she is just yelling at you, when you do hang up tell her you do not appreciate her yelling at you and you are doing your best to help her. Sit down and discuss what her needs are and then tell her what YOU are willing to do for her since you are not required to take care of her. Where is her son (your husband) in all this? Why doesn't he speak up for you? Do not allow yourself to be bullied by your mother-in-law nor your husband. Stand up for you!
You may think the best person to manage a tough mother-in-law would be her own son, but asking your spouse to step into the middle of a conflict can be problematic.
"In addition to being insulted and hurt, often the wife feels completely unsupported in her feelings, so her husband is caught in the middle," says Radcliffe. "He loves his wife, he loves his mother and, especially if he's young, he's not particularly skilled at negotiating those relationships, so he makes his wife feel like she's doing something wrong." This is a lot of pressure to put on your spouse and, Radcliffe says, as an adult, there is no reason you can't manage this relationship on your own. ---- Personally I'd throw her under the bus
Curious, what was it that your mother-in-law needed help in that was so urgent that she needed to yell?
I understand she is not your Mom, but if the shoe was on the other foot and it was your Mom and your husband made the comment "she's not my Mom", I bet you would find that to be very hurtful.
You don't mention your mother-in-laws age but it sounds like she may have dementia. I had a good relationship with my mother until I had to become my parents' caregiver. Then everything went south and mother began yelling at me like I was 5 years old. She had been diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease which causes pretty severe dementia but she was in denial that anything was wrong with her. For a while I did not understand her rude behavior was neurological and I took everything personally. When I got her and Dad in an Assisted Living Facility, they gave her an anti-psychotic drug which helped her immensely. If I had understood dementia earlier I would have realized she was depressed and not attacking me personally.
Has your relationship with her been pretty good over the years? If this rudeness was an exception, I'd chalk it up to every one is entitled to have a bad day now and then.
She told you to "get out" -- are you living in her house? Or what is your caregiving arrangement?
If this is not just a rare exception, then if you can explain your situation in a little more detail we will be able to give you more specific responses.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You may think the best person to manage a tough mother-in-law would be her own son, but asking your spouse to step into the middle of a conflict can be problematic.
"In addition to being insulted and hurt, often the wife feels completely unsupported in her feelings, so her husband is caught in the middle," says Radcliffe. "He loves his wife, he loves his mother and, especially if he's young, he's not particularly skilled at negotiating those relationships, so he makes his wife feel like she's doing something wrong." This is a lot of pressure to put on your spouse and, Radcliffe says, as an adult, there is no reason you can't manage this relationship on your own.
----
Personally I'd throw her under the bus
I understand she is not your Mom, but if the shoe was on the other foot and it was your Mom and your husband made the comment "she's not my Mom", I bet you would find that to be very hurtful.
She told you to "get out" -- are you living in her house? Or what is your caregiving arrangement?
If this is not just a rare exception, then if you can explain your situation in a little more detail we will be able to give you more specific responses.