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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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Hûsband has angers and disrespect problems for 10 yrs. I suffered thru them not past 5 yrs Fronto Temporal Dementia symptoms more verbal abuse, impatience and yelling with demanding I jump when he says so.
It doesn't sound like he is anywhere nearing placement at this point, just obnoxious, difficult and lacking empathy....typical bvFTD behavior. Another resource is the book A Dignified Life by Bell & Troxel. I just heard David Troxel speak last week and he was good and the approach is helpful, even with FTD people. Don't give up on the situation until you've given the methods of dealing with the behaviors a good try. It's not easy and I wonder myself where the line is between caregiving and domestic abuse, but remember you're dealing a disease and not the man you married. He's in there somewhere, but very hard to reach.
Moniquac, it sounds like you need to break free and to rebuild your life. You have been an angel to stay with him to help. Tell us a little more about your husband. If he is severely mentally or physically impaired now, he may qualify for a nursing facility. I believe in marriage, but not when it is ruining the quality of your life and perhaps putting you in danger. I would understand if you needed to get away from him.
About divorce -- I can think of two situations where it would be helpful. One would be if his situation was going to devastate your personal finances. The other would be if you wanted to build a new life with someone else. If staying married wouldn't be a problem, it may save you money to not go through a divorce.
I really don't have any good answers for you except that you don't have to tolerate the abuse. Even if the person with FTD is not really the person you married, it doesn't make the abuse any easier. It may be time to consider other options.
The conversation starts with his MD. Certainly you should not continue to be abused by him and you look into proper placement for him if medications don't help or he refuses to take them. Divorce won't really solve anything.
Unfortunately he sounds like he's unmedicated. SSRI antidepressants should help some. FTD is progressive and terminal, as you no doubt know. This stage won'tlast forever. Many spouses of behavioral variant FTDers stay married after they know what's causing the abusive behaviors. Even some of the couples that get divorced before diagnosis stay together or get back together with the helping spouse looking out for the FTD patient. Are you getting help with his behaviors from his doctors? I recommend several resources for you....a face to face or phone support group through AFTD, an excellent online support group specifically for FTD, called ftdsupportforum dot com. Try to read the third edition of "What If It's Not Alzheimer's?", edited by Lisa and Gary Radin. It just came out last month with the latest info on FTD. I know from personal experience exactly what you dealing with. Join the rest of us FTD caregivers on that support forum. We get it. Don't let anyone suggest "marital counseling" for you...that's not the problem. Hang in there.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
About divorce -- I can think of two situations where it would be helpful. One would be if his situation was going to devastate your personal finances. The other would be if you wanted to build a new life with someone else. If staying married wouldn't be a problem, it may save you money to not go through a divorce.
I really don't have any good answers for you except that you don't have to tolerate the abuse. Even if the person with FTD is not really the person you married, it doesn't make the abuse any easier. It may be time to consider other options.