My mom, 88, is living in her own home (with a LOT of help from mostly me, and two other daughters, too, when they can). She is becoming increasingly less able to do a lot of things. We've tried to get her to use Senior Helpers, who will do anything she needs, but she flatly refuses. She can well afford it. We are now helping her, which is hard enough, and she keeps crying to us that she's a burdern. But she doesn't NEED to be. We each (for better or worse) have a durable POA. When can we use that, if we can no longer physically take care of her in her home, and she doesn't give us permission to hire anyone? None of us is dishonest and none would take advantage of the situation. We would all keep careful records of expenditures, etc. Do I need to consult an attorney? Thank you so much, and a happy holiday to all!
If you can get everyone on the same page - just one sibling backing Mom will ruin it- you can try a "we're taking charge, this is the way it's going to be" talk. Our problem was that we couldn't get the siblings to all agree on the course of action. With united, determined siblings you have a chance. Good luck!