Where can I take my 98-year-old mom for a little trip?
My mother, who lives with me is 98. She has all her facilities, but unfortunately her vision is nearly gone, and her knees are really bad, hence all she can do is watch a little tv and read her kindle. We go out for lunch once in a while, but she really can’t handle much more than that. She walks with a cane or walker. I’d really like to take her on a little trip to give her a change of scenery, but I can’t think of anywhere that would be enjoyable. We could fly and rent a car if it’s not a long flight, but a big hotel is out of the question. I think somewhere she wouldn’t have to do much walking. Resorts and cruise ships are out of the question. We live in Michigan so Florida would be about the furthest we could go. Any suggestions on something we could do? I don’t think she’d be happy sitting in a condo all day or a hotel room.
Thanks!
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Driving only. Keep it within 60-90 minutes of home, unless you two have a long, long history of harmonious car trips together. (And even if you do, age 98 + severe physical limitations is a whole different ballgame.)
Rent a big van or something more comfy/roomy for Mom, if need be. Heck, it’s only one day!
Are you close-ish to any of the adorable towns along Lake Michigan or Lake Huron? Any scenic state parks within a reasonable drive of where you live?
Keep in mind: Making things harder for yourself does not equal making it more special for Mom.
Don’t get so wrapped up in second-guessing Mom’s bucket list (or creating expectations) that it’s impossible for you to enjoy yourself.
You’ll have the memory of this trip longer than Mom will. Keep the stress level low. You don’t need a grand scale to have a lovely outing. 😃
We were in this one town where they had named a road for a woman who kept old folks back in the 30s. This woman didn’t treat them very nice my mom said. She thought it was awful that the woman had been honored. She said “You know there is not one person I could tell about this. They are all gone.”
All the people who could really appreciate this news had already died. She was in her early 90s and still in pretty good shape. She loved to travel. My nieces took her and my sister on a couple of other trips the next few years. I was working and didn’t go with but enjoyed hearing all about who they saw and what they did. Of course they made a lot of photos and then had fun scrapbooking for her to look through.
So if your mom had to move away from an earlier life she might enjoy seeing old haunts.
Oh and my mom loved presidential libraries. There were several of us in a large SUV so that would have been easier for us than for you with just you and your mom. But It’s a great idea to travel with your mom regardless of where you go.
Best to you. And such a thoughtful question. And let us know what you choose.
If going out for lunch is as much as she can handle how would she manage a flight? Think of the lines ups to check in, clear security, the wait for take off and the confusion and congestion of landing, finding bags etc. I know my Dad who flew on long haul international flights up until age 83, could not manage a short flight now. Heck getting from the car to the terminal would exhaust him.
Now for a car trip, how long can she sit comfortably in the car? Does she have any issues with incontinence? Going out for lunch is one thing, but what about going out from breakfast lunch and dinner? You say going out for lunch wipes her out, how can she manage more than that?
Dad will be 90 in a couple weeks. He can manage one activity per day. And he has to rest the next day. So he could go to the doctor on Monday, rest of Tuesday, get groceries on Wednesday, rest on Thursday etc. He has to do his activities in the morning and he will be in bed most the day after he gets home.
I am curious why you panned a cruise or resort? I know of seniors in wheel chairs that do both and have a great time.
Day trips are a good starting point, and you don't get into the hotel/bathroom situation. Is there an aide or another family member who can assist you? I find it's better with two, as it's almost impossible to watch someone every single minute. At some point, you need to visit the ladies room, too.
Do you yourself need a vacation. If so, is there someone else who could stay with her while you go away?
Back to day trips. Because of her vision and mobility, I would also think about music and nature (ocean, lake, flowers, trees), if that's something she enjoys. The Upper Peninsula is beautiful. That's a beautiful place to visit, it's quiet. There must be a lot to do in Michigan. Even a picnic in the car can be welcome.
If you are ready to go further, what about Niagara Falls?
If not a cruise, is she up for a boat trip on a lake or river? Or one that is guided by a naturalist? What about a day trip on a bus, with a guide?
Are there any Senior day trips available in your area, which would be customized her to age group, and also provide possible opportunities to converse with other elders?
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