My mother is now homeless after loosing her home to the family of the original owner that allowed my mother to live there rent free. My mom is on a fixed income with SS and has a special needs trust set up by her mother, my grandmother that passed almost 10 years ago. My mom is coming to visit with us (in a different state) to see how she would like living here (me too) but suffers from bipolar, early onset dementia and several manageable heath issues.
Where do I even start to help her get back on her feet? I have 2 children and happily married and although I want the best for my mother I do not want to erode at the peace and life we have already. I want to help I just want to know where to start and what exactly I am getting into with caring for her?
Check with your county or state social services to determine what else she can get - bridge card/food assistance, etc. County level social workers could probably help more quickly. Ours has a prescription drug discount program, a nurse on call program, and other senior services.
Check with your city/township's senior center to determine what they might offer - sometimes the centers have health days when they'll check blood pressure. But some have really good resource referrals and information on what's available locally.
With early onset dementia, I don't know whether you could get a Durable Power of Attorney - it would depend on her level of cognizance. If you can, though, you should also get a Health Care Proxy.
Given that she's apparently indigent, contact your state or local bar association, or check their websites, as well as the local law schools to locate groups that offer pro bono legal aide services to help with preparation of the documentaton.
If you have siblings and have a good relationship with them, keep them up to date and ask if there are any respite, financial or other services they can provide.
Who is trustee of the Special Needs Trust? What assets does it have and can you draw down on any for what would be considered an emergency situation? If you're not the trustee, update this person on the situation and ask what restrictions exist and whether or not any of the funds can be used for your mother's immediate care, and/or future care.
Unfortunately, if you move your mom in with you permanently you will be blowing up the peace and the life you have now. I don't even know where to begin telling you what you'll be getting yourself into in becoming her caregiver.
While your mom is staying with you:
-- Obtain Power of Attorney
-- Get her going on being approved for Medicaid
-- Find her a psychiatrist and get her on the bipolar meds
-- Get her a checkup with a Dr.
Once these things are done (except Medicaid, which can take up to 6 months to be approved) begin looking at assisted living facilities or nursing homes, whichever is appropriate for your mom. But let your mom know at the beginning that her staying with you is a temporary solution (I'm sure you find a kinder way of putting it than that though). Don't let her get too comfortable or you will never be able to move her out and there goes the next 10 years of your life.