Follow
Share

She has always loved to travel and still can but not by herself as she needs help with everything and has mild dementia. She lives with me full time. I take care of her with no payment. How can I afford to take her on trips? I personally live on a small pension but she does have money.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I would simply tell her that you cannot afford it. Did she ask you to pay?

Maybe look at the price of the trip and let her know an approximate cost. See how she responds. If she can afford it she may offer to pay for it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Your mother should be paying you for food and rent. She shouldn’t be living with you for free. It doesn’t matter that she is your mother. She needs to pay monthly food and rent.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

It depends on what kind of legal arrangement you have. I am my dad's guardian so I am accountable to the court. I would never dream of using dad's money without their blessing first.
Your trip would have to pass the smell test. If it was somewhere your loved one could get some pleasure from (not some all inclusive Caribbean resort) then maybe you could justify it. If you are her POA just be prepared to justify it if ever questioned about it. If you are truly doing the right thing everything will be ok.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I agree that if she has the money, she should pay for traveling and trips she wants to take -- for herself as well as you.
After a year of us paying for everything, I realized it was unrealistic for us financially. And although she has the money, she never offers to help out and acts offended when I ask for her card to pay for her needs. So I drew up a care contract so that Mother pays me a small amount weekly for full-time care and when we travel back to her state a couple times a year, she pays for that -- car rental, gas, meals, groceries there.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I traveled extensively the last ten years with my dear mother. She paid for one family trip, and I paid for the rest of our travels together. I would advice not using your small pension. Your mother has the money as you stated. I would let her pay for the trip. I hope you have a wonderful time with your mom if you decide to travel.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Up until about 2 years ago my mom and aunt still wanted to travel overseas. We took them to Scotland and Ireland, one country each year. My aunt also took one or two of her daughters and my daughter went to Scotland with us. Both of them paid their own way, and a good portion of ours/ her daughters for helping them go and take care of them. They were happy to do it as they have the money, and we not so much for 3 of us overseas for a 2 week tour. After the last trip, I said no more.. It was just exhausting. Even with all the extra help from family. But if she wants to go, and she will pay your way and you feel up to it..
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Mother needs to pay now for everything she needs, including the roof over her head (aka rent). If her mild dementia deteriorates and she needs formal care, all her own money will go for care before she is entitled to Medicaid. By that stage you will get nothing, probably not even thanks. Get the payments and documentation organised immediately (if possible including some back pay). Her holiday may or may not make it as a legitimate paydown expense, but what you do with her counts as a care expense. Please search this site of Medicaid paydown and for carer contracts. It doesn’t mean that you do less or care less, it IS in the best interests of both of you to get this paperwork done, now while you still can.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Of coarse, she pays, and she should be paying her way with you too. Makes no logical sense for her not to pay for all her needs, including rent and board.

Set your boundaries, get this straightened out, she needs to start paying you for her share of the expenses.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

She pays, and she should be paying you for her living expenses. I do not understand why people do not charge a parent for the increased costs of them living with you. Her share of the utilities, groceries, wear and tear on your car, fuel to get to appointments etc.

You should have a caregiving contract in place that outlines all of this, so if there are any questions down the line you are covered.

I just got my current electric bill, my son moved out over the summer. My usage is 44% less than this time last year. Think of that, I paid 44% more when he lived at home.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Why is your mother not paying for her care?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

She should definitely be paying for her own expenses, especially for travelling.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

She pays and she should be paying her share of monthly expenses. Taking care of her for free is your decision, I would personally do a care contract and get paid for all the work.
Helpful Answer (9)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter