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I moved in with my grandmother to take care of her. I left a job making $80,000 per year. What is a fair salary of being her full time caregiver. Keep in mind that I have no household bills $1600 per month child support. I pay for my car and insurance that we use for all of our needs at about $600. She has Alzheimers and really can no longer be left alone. I also have a lady I pay $600 per month to help out with her feminine needs, bathing, and conversation.


Her net worth is 1 million.
She receives $5000 per month.
I have POA.
I am co trustee and the trust is worded that compensation is ok.
I moved from another state and promised my grandfather that my wife and I would take care of her and keep her at home. Now she is ex-wife. My mom was also supposed to help but she passed away.
Thank you in advance for advice.

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Duckman, you may want to reconsider your current plan.

Here are some things to think about since you quit a quality paying job to care for an aging grandparent.... on average if a working person quits work he/she will lose over the years between $285,000 and $325,000 which includes not only loss of salary over those years... it also includes the net worth loss of the health insurance coverage.... loss of money being put into Social Security/Medicare..... loss of other benefits such as matching 401(k).... profit sharing.... workman's comp insurance.... company sponsored life insurance.... vacation pay, sick pay.... tuition assistance, etc. 

I remember back when my Dad needed help after my Mom had passed, as Dad was a major fall risk. Dad hired caregivers. Eventually he needed 3 shifts of caregivers which was costing him $20k per month, thus $240,000 a year. Dad still had to pay for someone to mow the lawn, shovel the snow, do maintenance around the house, and the twice a year real estate tax bill. And utilities. And groceries and personal needs.

Then Dad found out that he could save money by moving into senior living for around $4k per month, and still had funds to bring along one of his caregivers for 1 shift. He loved being in senior living, around people closer to his own age group, etc. And mostly the money he was saving.... even when he had to move to Memory Care in the same facility.

What a relief for me, I didn't need to quit work at a job I have loved and had worked hard to achieve. It was a win-win for both of us :) Thankfully he had a "rainy day" fund for times like this, just like your Grandmother has.
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We see see a lot of folks attempt to take over the care of an elder, and hoping to be paid for it because they are living in the home with them, and are unable to maintain a job of any kind. The general outcome is not good for them; they often end up homeless and jobless, with the elder still requiring more care than they can possibly give 24/7. How old is your grandmother? You say that you are "keeping them in their home of 30 years". Is there more than one person you are taking care of? How long have you been doing this 24/7 care; how is it working for you?
As to your getting paid by your grandmother, this is something I think she would willingly have to do? To pay you? I am uncertain what you mean by your being now co-trustee of her Trust. There is usually the Grantor of the Trust who is also the Trustee. Do you mean your Grandmother, while mentally competent to do so, made you the Trustee of her Trust? If that is the case you would be paying yourself. I would get the advice of an Elder Law Attorney on this. Your Grandmother can well afford THAT, and you as her POA can pay a Lawyer for several hours of advice, and drawing up of a care contract if that can be done and needs to be done.
Hope you will update us on how it is going for you, and on what you find out.
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Your profile says that she is 93 years old with ALZ.

Do you have the experience to care for her?

What about hospice? Would you consider doing that?

Caregiving is a lot of work? How long does the woman that you hired stay? You will need a break from time to time.

I made a promise to my dad that I would care for my mom. She lived with us for 15 years. It’s really hard.

A promise doesn’t have to mean that you need to do the ‘hands on’ work. It can mean her living in a facility.

She could run out of money in an assisted living facility. They are expensive, but then she could qualify for Medicaid and she can move into a nursing home.

You need to think about your own future too.

You posted twice. I see that your mom has died. I am sorry for your loss. I see where you have children and have $1600 in child support. You pay your helper $600. You have a car and insurance.

This is not looking good for you.
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Do you know what your grandmother’s financial status is? It doesn’t matter what is fair if she doesn’t have the funds.

I seriously doubt that she will pay the $80,000 salary that you were getting paid. Why were you willing to stop working?

Is this what you want to do? Do you feel that you will be able to properly care for her? Have you considered a placement in a facility so you could continue to work?

Best wishes to you and your grandmother.
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Duckman49 Nov 2020
I forgot to mention I have POA and am co-trustee. She makes $5000 per month. Her net worth is about 1 million.
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